SageThyme Posted November 24, 2009 Share Posted November 24, 2009 Didn't want to bring it up last time, but when I did I mentioned that there was no pressure and I just wanted to know what he would be comfortable with. Part of it, I think, is coming from having been in an abusive relationship beforehand, and wanting to know how safe I was in this potential new one. Don't know if other women have felt the same way... Link to post Share on other sites
ADF Posted November 24, 2009 Share Posted November 24, 2009 The guy i am seeing and I had 'the talk' today. I initiated it because i was confused about some aspects of our time together and what it all meant. He was so great about it, opened up and answered my questions. To be honest i prefer to 'go with the flow' and i think he does too, but the talk was kind of needed due to some confusion. i think it depends on the people/situation. Just be aware that if you're dealing with a man, "going with the flow" will usually mean FWB. If that's okay with you, fine. If you want something deeper, you might have to make sure to steer things in that direction. Link to post Share on other sites
VeveCakes Posted November 24, 2009 Share Posted November 24, 2009 I usually only go exclusive with people I am really into and vice versa, so there is never really a talk, just sort of assumed bf/gf. Link to post Share on other sites
justforfun Posted November 24, 2009 Share Posted November 24, 2009 It has never really been an issue for me. I would never ask out someone I knew was seeing someone else. Nor would I consider entering into a relationship with some who was playing the field, so to speak. It's called dating. Link to post Share on other sites
ADF Posted November 24, 2009 Share Posted November 24, 2009 It's called dating. I know what it's called. And I am not condemning it. I just think people who can date several different people at the same type have a lot more tolerance for ambiguity and uncertainty than I do, or else they have a greater capacity for emotional detachment. I always enter relationships with the idea they might go somewhere. That means "dating," as you define it, isn't the best strategy for someone like me. Link to post Share on other sites
Pizzaman81 Posted November 24, 2009 Share Posted November 24, 2009 Hmm to me if you end up in bed together, then you two ought to be mature and responsible enough to assume that you two are exclusive... but that's "OUGHT" If I don't bring it up and I find out she's sleeping with some other dude, well i break it up, because apparently, she doesn't know where to draw the line. Link to post Share on other sites
Ody Posted November 24, 2009 Share Posted November 24, 2009 Hmm to me if you end up in bed together, then you two ought to be mature and responsible enough to assume that you two are exclusive... but that's "OUGHT" Why not instead just be mature enough to ask? What's mature or responsible about making an assumption where you could just ask? The only reasons I can think to not ask are if someone is too uncomfortable to talk about it, or doesn't really care/want to know the answer. Link to post Share on other sites
jerseyboy Posted November 24, 2009 Share Posted November 24, 2009 Hmm to me if you end up in bed together, then you two ought to be mature and responsible enough to assume that you two are exclusive... but that's "OUGHT" If I don't bring it up and I find out she's sleeping with some other dude, well i break it up, because apparently, she doesn't know where to draw the line. Is that like the if she kisses you, shes your gf rule? Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts