Why can't some EX GF dumpers leave you alone?

[WiseOne1]

I know people that's not over there ex, the last thing they want to happen is for the EX to disappear and leave them alone, but why can't some dumpers leave some ex's alone?

 

Everyone has had ex gf/ex bf, and we all know that we've had those ex's that when you break up, you never talk AGAIN, like never! You probably have even had those ex's that you loved and once the break up was through and settled you Never talked to AGAIN.

 

But why are there some dumpers that won't leave you alone?? I think people on loveshack are too hard on there selves because really if the Ex.‘s had to going on soo good, there’s no way they would be texting or calling you, they technically shouldn't even be able to miss you if the new guy/girl is really that great, ya know??

 

My EX Gf had plenty of no good EX Bf's and during the time me and her were "best friends" and you couldn't pay her to call them or text her, but she calls and text me all the time???? I once asked her what makes me so different from the other ex's. Why can't you just block me out of your life like you did all the others.

 

What are your thoughts on why some people never want to leave a "Certain Ex Alone"?

[USMCHokie]

They won't leave a certain ex alone because that ex will respond back and give them attention. She can have her cake and eat it too because that ex is willing to be that guy for her. So she keeps going back to him for that easy boost.

 

Stop responding to her, and you'll quickly realize that you don't have this problem anymore.

[Taucher]

Well, I never responded to my ex, and when I did respond (the two times we bumped into each other - I couldnt avoid her) I did not respond in a very positive or friendly way...I sort of ignored her. Did not stop her shouting from me across the street last week though. I was thinking "leave me alone" but she shouted my name louder and louder.

 

I have no idea why she would do this.

 

T

[trueblue72ny]

a couple possibilities

 

maybe they dont want you to hate them so by trying to be your 'friend' they dont think they are such a bad person anymore. guilt relief.

 

or two,

 

they are between relationships and just want a little support until they find their next person.

[WiseOne1]

Well what does this sound like, she hasn't called me in months normally just text, text, text, and now she calls first and lets the phone ring maybe 8 times, and then text, the message said :

 

Hi, I'm just calling you to see what cha up to. Get Bac at me, when u have time.

 

^^^That is the exactly what the message said and how it was worded.

 

So what does that mean? exactly what it says right?

[DustySaltus]

I've realized that past EX's that had broken up with me ALWAYS came back at some point. Some threw me breadcrumbs but others came on very strong.

 

It's always when you've just about moved on with someone else that they always find a way to get back into contact with you. It's like there is something in the air.

 

That's when your faith and progress will be tested.

[WiseOne1]

I've realized that past EX's that had broken up with me ALWAYS came back at some point. Some threw me breadcrumbs but others came on very strong.

 

It's always when you've just about moved on with someone else that they always find a way to get back into contact with you. It's like there is something in the air.

 

That's when your faith and progress will be tested.

 

Exactly, Im about 80% moved on, and I DO have someone else and Im able to be completly happy WITHOUT my ex....So what should I do?

[DustySaltus]

Exactly, Im about 80% moved on, and I DO have someone else and Im able to be completly happy WITHOUT my ex....So what should I do?

 

You should tell her that you have moved on and would appreciate if she ceased all contact with you. If she continues to try and contact you, block her number and delete her from all social newtorking sites.

 

However, if you DO still have feelings for her, you have yourself in a little bit of a pickle my friend.

[trueblue72ny]

i guess just tell her you're seeing someone and that you dont think it would be a good idea right now.

[DustySaltus]

i guess just tell her you're seeing someone and that you dont think it would be a good idea right now.

 

yep, you can go this way too.....

[WiseOne1]

Thanks guys for the comments.

 

It's true that I still have feelings for her, things can't be the same though either way, I guess I miss her from being friends for so long, I mean we were bestfriends 5 years before we started dating, talked atlest 18 hours of the day on the phone ((I really mean about 18 hours a day)), she use to get off the phone with her bf's to talk to me.

 

However, at the same time I hate her guts, I know she doesn't think theres a way in HELL that she could put me through all of that, and just come back and be friends, she should just leave me along forever!!!

 

If I do contact her, I'll tell her to call her older Ex's. the ones that didnt give a **** and used her, yea, so thats what the message will say if I do respond

[lilbelle]

you said it yourself, they realize now how great the ex is and want them back in their lives. The only problem is that she complicated it with being with other people. This is why no one should jump back in the ring right away. If you leave for someone else say goodbye forever as far as I'm concerned. I luckily am on a different side, we both just came out of LT relationships and brought the baggage and hurt with it. After 3 weeks nc he found me, yes, he realized something didn't he??? anyway, neither one of us had a rebound nor did we want one. gave us time to realize if we are addicted or truly felling something for one another. slow and steady now is the pace as I will never be unappreciative of him again and I will cherish every second I spend with him.

[mmk1]

Yep, my ex was my best friend for 3 years before we dated for 3 years but that was then and this is now. Once you've broken up, nothing prior to that day matters or counts.

 

You will find that even replying once will keep them coming back sporadically and without any point. Just to see if you still care and get some validation from you when you reply.

 

If you do want to get back together, then tell her that once and leave it alone. If not, NC will work eventually. Complete NC.

[WiseOne1]

you said it yourself, they realize now how great the ex is and want them back in their lives. The only problem is that she complicated it with being with other people. This is why no one should jump back in the ring right away. If you leave for someone else say goodbye forever as far as I'm concerned. I luckily am on a different side, we both just came out of LT relationships and brought the baggage and hurt with it. After 3 weeks nc he found me, yes, he realized something didn't he??? anyway, neither one of us had a rebound nor did we want one. gave us time to realize if we are addicted or truly felling something for one another. slow and steady now is the pace as I will never be unappreciative of him again and I will cherish every second I spend with him.

 

You are 100% right, yours was diffrent, there was NO other relationships to complicate it, I can never forgive her, I'll most likely just cheat becauseas far as im concerned she likes no good guys like that, once she knows somethings going on she'll hang on forever.

[WiseOne1]

Yep, my ex was my best friend for 3 years before we dated for 3 years but that was then and this is now. Once you've broken up, nothing prior to that day matters or counts.

 

You will find that even replying once will keep them coming back sporadically and without any point. Just to see if you still care and get some validation from you when you reply.

 

If you do want to get back together, then tell her that once and leave it alone. If not, NC will work eventually. Complete NC.

 

I do want to get back with her, but Im tooooooo embarrassed to mention it, too ashamed to even try, I can't take reject anymore, shes done it like 10 times, so I guess I won't say anything at all.

[lilbelle]

I think the best course of action is to be honest, tell her you are seeing someone, that you are happy, that you have moved on and that you are not interested in speaking with her.

 

She has no come back.... and you will have the upper hand always

[WiseOne1]

I think the best course of action is to be honest, tell her you are seeing someone, that you are happy, that you have moved on and that you are not interested in speaking with her.

 

She has no come back.... and you will have the upper hand always

 

So you think that ignoring her completly, 100% is not a good choice?

[mmk1]

So you think that ignoring her completly, 100% is not a good choice?

 

I do!

[lilbelle]

you can keep ignoring but she is going to keep contacting, the point is to end it completely. Once she sees you are dead serious she will leave you alone, at least that's my theory. It's a final closure and will make you more confident.

[WiseOne1]

Thanks guys.

 

All I know is I hate her, I'm 100% over her, I think I'm just lonely, eversince me and her broke up I haven't had a serious relationship, someone who I loved, just sexual partner and and temporary gf's.

So therefore sometimes I lone for when me and her use to be in love, and I miss being in love, and lately it's been hard to find someone new that I really want a relationship with, a real longterm relationship!!!!!

 

However I tried everything, I told her over 75+ times never to contact me again, over 75+ that I don't want to be friends, so therefore I GOT A PLAN.

 

When all of her relationships ended with her EX bf's, it always ended with them calling her a B-I-T-C-H, oooooo once they did that you couldn't PAY her or make her consider calling this person again, never not once!

 

I'm defintely not paying 36$ to change my home number and 36$ to change my cellphone number, besides so many people have both numbers.

 

 

Therefore I think I will try all of her Ex Bf's vocab and call her the B Word, anyone think this is a good idea?????? I mean anything to get closure right?????

[DenverBachelor]

Therefore I think I will try all of her Ex Bf's vocab and call her the B Word, anyone think this is a good idea?????? I mean anything to get closure right?????

 

If you honestly think she's a B, then call her a B. But you better be damn sure you really feel this way. Don't sink down to that level or lie to yourself (and her) if you don't believe she is.

 

It's real convenient to paint an ugly picture of someone who broke it off, but let's be real for a moment -- stop and ask yourself some hard questions. What REALLY happened in that relationship? I'm sure your **** didn't smell like roses, either. If she did something egregious, then call her a B and move on. Why stop there? Use the C word -- that's the ultimate deal closer.

 

But you better be damn sure that's what you really want. Don't slam the door if you don't have to because you'll regret it years into the future. Better to go out with style and class than be remembered as the big fat ass.

 

We must conduct ourselves as gentleman. Keep that in mind. Let's not burn bridges unless we REALLY want the bridge burned.

[WiseOne1]

If you honestly think she's a B, then call her a B. But you better be damn sure you really feel this way. Don't sink down to that level or lie to yourself (and her) if you don't believe she is.

 

It's real convenient to paint an ugly picture of someone who broke it off, but let's be real for a moment -- stop and ask yourself some hard questions. What REALLY happened in that relationship? I'm sure your **** didn't smell like roses, either. If she did something egregious, then call her a B and move on. Why stop there? Use the C word -- that's the ultimate deal closer.

 

But you better be damn sure that's what you really want. Don't slam the door if you don't have to because you'll regret it years into the future. Better to go out with style and class than be remembered as the big fat ass.

 

We must conduct ourselves as gentleman. Keep that in mind. Let's not burn bridges unless we REALLY want the bridge burned.

 

Well first I want to correct you, MY **** SMELLED LIKE ROSES. There's going to be a time that both parties have played a part in the breakup sometimes 50/50, sometimes uneven, sometimes 1 party didn't do something that they were expected to do, didn't help the relationship.

 

One thing about it, I've had acouple of relationships in my life and can admit, that it wasn't always a 100% the girls fault, we both both played parts, everyone has those, but sometimes, just SOMETIMES in life, your innocent and this is one of those time, THIS is 100% her fault, it would be a lie for me to even accept 1% of blame.

 

So unless you been in my shoes, you don't know what my S-H-I-T smelled like, but now ya know. Of course also I know that ONCE it's said theres noooooooo going back, never.

 

I've spent all other options, when I said 75 times, I really meant a average of 75 and more, telling her I have new GF's and acting to be over her, not answering her calls, attempting to be a jerk to drive her away but forget that "she likes that in guys", and Im defintely not changing my phone number, I spent enough money on her and I'll be damned if I spend a extra 70$ on her just getting my number changed.

 

Another thing, the only way someone is considered "the big fat ass" is even they crawl back, I have way to much pride to come back to someone after I've did something or said something to them, I just wish she had that same pride to leave me alone after all she did to me.

 

You gave excellent advice though

Edited November 27, 2009 by WiseOne1

[almostpassedit]

Whats up bro. Its me backontrack.

They banned me for using obscene language on my other nick.

 

I was wondering what happen with you. You helped me out allot during my bad days. Hey remember my relationship?

 

Well an update is this:

 

NC 2 years now.. Almost two years now. No contact from her, no contact from me.

 

Update2:

I never did call her except once, last year september, when I was drunk to text her and say I was forgetting her but after that nothing, its as if she moved on rather quickly. I know she had been checking on me via facebook, but that is about it.

 

As far as me goes, the pain went away, so long with no contact, does wonders for the brain. As far you, yeah bro, I was like you too but its like your healing is taking 2x as long as mine did. I think its because your still in contact. I went through the random hookup phase for a while and had about 7 sex partners, relationships with 3, the rest were one night stands and eventually about 6 months ago I decieded to be alone.

 

Now, being single and being by myself and learning and growing more each day, I realize its not so bad. Yeah I miss the sex and her company but its cool because I'll find someone else sooner or later. I'm right now to the point where I feel healed and over it. As far you, and the question in your post,

 

She doesn't leave you alone because you always respond. As soon as you stop resonding, it will take a while but sooner or later she'll get the hint and then you can begin to forget about her and secertly check up on her via methods she'll never know your using, just like everyone else.

 

I don't know what to tell you but our relationshp ended about the same time, similar circumstances but I'm in a different place than you. Just end all contact bro, everything. Change your number, pay the money. Nothing is worth peace of mind.

 

 

FYI: I defriend her. Deleted all mutual friends. Changed my phone number. Deleted my my space. Put my facebook to private. Deleted all photos. Even had friends delete photo's. Threw out all clothes, I'm still finding panties, shirts, 2 years later in my house. My sister had a shirt she wore of my ex, she loved that shirt, she hid it from me but one day I searched her room and found it, then threw it in the trash. I kept finding her victoria secert underwars in my room, each time I would throw them away. We spent allot of time together, there was allot of reminders but I pretty much got rid of them all.

 

There's still two photos of us on one of her friends pages which she tagged herself in, I don't know how to get rid of those, hopefully I'll run into the friend one day and ask her to remove it. Its like I want to eliminate all traces of us ever being together, she on the other hand wants to keep some memories. I don't know why.

Edited November 27, 2009 by almostpassedit

[WiseOne1]

almostpassedit -

 

What's up, well I been on strict NC for 3 months now, Im 100% over my EX, im just lonely, I miss being in a romantic relationship, I miss being in love. I've dated atlest 8 girls since then, but mostly there only SEXUAL relationships and nothing more, and the ones I do think I can be with romantically I find out "they have kids" or that they like "noo good men" RED Flag huh???

 

And Im a young 20 year old man with no resonsiblities besides a small amount, so defintely Im not messing with anyone who has KIDS.

I actually only think about my EX GF every 5 days, not every minute anymore, not every hour, not even every day, normally every 5 or 6 days.

 

I don't love her anymore, and don't resent her, it's just that I miss being in LOVE and when she starts contacting me, shes the closest thing I have to love, either way's im not as RICH as I use to be, so i'm defintely NOT paying the 70$ to get the numbers changed, I spent to much money on her anyway, most of her ex's spent less than 0.15$ cent on her, yea they spent 0$ on her!!! I spent to much, so Im defintely not gonna spend any extra money on her when were not together.

 

So I think I'll do my plan.