AndreaLee Posted December 14, 2003 Share Posted December 14, 2003 I have a question on how one knows that they are ready to get married?? I am 21 and a single mother and am dating a wonderful man who is a single dad of a little girl. We've been together for about 7 months and I love him so much. I think that he is going to pop the question around Christmas. The problem is that we've both been hurt in the past (my son's father, and his ex-wife) and I am scared as hell!! How do I know if he's the ONE?? I only want to get married once. I just would like some suggestions on how do I know if I'm really ready?? Someone PLEASE help!! Link to post Share on other sites
meanon Posted December 14, 2003 Share Posted December 14, 2003 I tend to think it's really simple - if you love him and are fairly sure he loves you then he's the one. Love is a risky business and nothing will change that. Just be cautious and listen to your instincts. Live life to the full. Don't let fear make you miss out on the best life has to offer. Link to post Share on other sites
Author AndreaLee Posted December 15, 2003 Author Share Posted December 15, 2003 Thanks Meanon... Does anyone else have any other views on this? Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted December 15, 2003 Share Posted December 15, 2003 I'd go farther than loving each other, I guess. If he's the best man you know and you can't imagine finding anybody you could love more, you're ready. If the the thought of life without him is bleak, he's the one. If you not only love him but respect him, marry him. If the thought of being married to him makes you happy and excited for your future, go for it. There are no guarantees in life. Remember this saying? "A life lived in fear is a life half-lived". You'll feel a lot worse in your life if you let a wonderful man go because you are fearful. Link to post Share on other sites
blockndig Posted January 2, 2004 Share Posted January 2, 2004 I'm a 21 year old man, and coming from the other side of things I'd say that you will know. I myself have been with my girlfriend for a year, we are moving in together in 6 months and have talked about marraige and the future. For me I am nervous to truly say to myself that I'm going to marry her, but deep down inside I know she's the one, and I know I will ask her to marry me. I think for us guys its nerve racking because we want to be able to provide, and care for the ones we love. Maybe for those of you out there, their men are needing to feel more secure about where they are headed as a person, and also where you are headed as a couple. But I'm quite sure that my girlfriend know's what I'm going to ask her in the future. She also doesn't touch on the subject unless I bring it up, I think she knows exactly what she wants and is letting me grow with her to a point that I truly know. Good luck to you! btw... communication helps in every situation it seems, so far so good! Link to post Share on other sites
Kat Posted January 2, 2004 Share Posted January 2, 2004 If you can't picture your life without him. He is the one. However, that doesn't mean that you have to get married 7 mths into the relationship. Marriage changes the responsibilities, not the relationship. So if you want to worry about the pressure of marriage, go for it. However if you are still interested in having fun (and still marrying him) stay boyfriend and girlfriend for now. Marriage these days is jumped into way too quickly. I am sorry but you don't get married thinking 'if it doesn't work out, there is always divorce'. DIVORCE is NOT an option for me. I won't be silly enough to get married until I know it is for life. I have no plans on marrying anyone but my current partner, but just because we know it, doesn't mean we are going to go out tomorrow and get hitched Link to post Share on other sites
blockndig Posted January 2, 2004 Share Posted January 2, 2004 I guess the important thing to know is that every person is different, and there is no textbook answer to your question. Go with the gut maybe? Link to post Share on other sites
RingBearer Posted May 5, 2004 Share Posted May 5, 2004 I've got a similar (but completely different) problem: I'm a 22 yr old male (23 this June), and I'm seriously considering proposing to my 21 (soon to be 22) year old girlfriend of two years this summer. She's the one. I have no doubt about it. She is the most incredible girl I have ever met, and she loves me to death. The best thing about her is she makes me want to be the best person I can be, not only for her, but for myself. My issue is: I work four different jobs, one part-time, three seasonal. I make decent money, but I don't have any job security or benefits. She has a full-time job that pays relatively well, plus she's has health coverage. I, however, am worried about getting engaged and planning a marriage within my current financial situation. I keep looking for jobs every weekend, but I wonder if I should hold off until I resolve my career issues? Has anyone ever been in this situation? Am I just worrying for nothing? I love her so much, and I want to show her, but I want to give us the best shot at it. thanks for any advice you guys have RingBearer Link to post Share on other sites
winterwonderland Posted May 27, 2004 Share Posted May 27, 2004 How can you tell if you are ready to get married. 1. When you found lots of friends you bedded at least once and are still friends with them 2. When you tell your bf/gf how much you love them but are sly to fill your other needs with your real friends 3. When your gf/bf isn't really your best friend but just a friend 4. When you kiss your gf/bf in the morning and wish him a great day while you make arragements at the motel with someone else 5. When you go shopping for your friends and not for your bf 6. When you can con your bf/gf and make them believe anything you say 7. When the bf gives you his gold card 8. When all your materialistic desires are fulfilled 9. When sex is the only part of the relationship you can understand 10. When your bf is working and you can go to the clubs Link to post Share on other sites
faux Posted May 27, 2004 Share Posted May 27, 2004 When you are ready to get married, I do not think that you will find yourself asking the question "Am I ready to get married?" If you do end up having to ask yourself that question, I think that when you are ready, you shall find that you have absolutely no doubt as to how to go about answering that question. Link to post Share on other sites
faux Posted May 27, 2004 Share Posted May 27, 2004 Originally posted by AndreaLee I have a question on how one knows that they are ready to get married?? I am 21 and a single mother and am dating a wonderful man who is a single dad of a little girl. We've been together for about 7 months and I love him so much. I think that he is going to pop the question around Christmas. The problem is that we've both been hurt in the past (my son's father, and his ex-wife) and I am scared as hell!! How do I know if he's the ONE?? I only want to get married once. I just would like some suggestions on how do I know if I'm really ready?? Someone PLEASE help!! I would think that, if you were ready to get married, there would be no question in your mind about it. If you have to question, you most likely are not ready. I really believe that you will "Just know" when it is time and if someone is "The One". Link to post Share on other sites
azgirl Posted May 27, 2004 Share Posted May 27, 2004 Faux: What advice do you have for someone who did "just know" that I want/ed to marry him and I genuinely felt that he is the ONE and now I'm losing him. Lost, hurt, scared ... don't know what to do. Link to post Share on other sites
winterwonderland Posted May 28, 2004 Share Posted May 28, 2004 Why are you loosing him AZGIRL. Hey if you still bed him and make him smile in the morning you still have a chance. So hang in there. And to me it sounds like he is dating someone else and you? Now he picked someone else? Is that true. WEll if it is and he sleeps with you and not her chances are he will come running back to you in no time. Hang in there sweetheart. Link to post Share on other sites
azgirl Posted May 28, 2004 Share Posted May 28, 2004 I'm losing him because he has a mountain of family problems going on right now and feels that he "just wants to be by himself." No. He is not dating anyone else. He has never been a player or into "womanizing" as he calls it, so I am confident that this isn't the problem. And we do still sleep together. People here would probably bitch me out for saying so, but we have always enjoyed a great sex life and we have decided that since we are two adults living in the same house that if it happens then that is ok. We slept together two nights ago, in fact. He has just changed completely over the past couple of weeks. I miss him. I miss the person I fell in love with. I'm having a really hard time dealing with this. Sad, angry, hurt. Link to post Share on other sites
md_matt Posted June 1, 2004 Share Posted June 1, 2004 I knew I was ready to get married when my gf and I broke up for a few months, and I discovered that she was the first girl I ever dated without whom I wasn't happy. Every other girl I ever dumped was a liberating experience for me. Link to post Share on other sites
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