kairi and sora Posted November 24, 2009 Share Posted November 24, 2009 Hey everyone Im 18 at the moment, *well 19 on the 30th * and i wanted to ask everyone out there a serious question. Is it too much to ask for, at my age, to find a "good girl". Because based on my last relationship, and my 4 years at high school, they are becoming almost extinct I was brought up extremely well by my parents, im very chivalrous, nice to all girls, smart, dumb, pretty, ugly, looks arent very important in the opposite sex to me. But it seems that the only girls around my age aren't the quote unquote "good girls". u know, the kind of girl that actually wants to WAIT more than a month to have sex with someone after getting into a relationship with them, the kind that doesnt put such a big emphasis on sex in a relationship, and when they DO, its a special occasion, used by the couple to show how much they love each other, not just a casual hookup every weekend. seems like all the girls in high school/college just care about gettin drunk, going to parties hoooking up with random guys, and in turn, destroying their self esteem and more. so is it too much to ask for? just feel like im like one of the last guys of my age group, actually one of the last PEOPLE in my age group, that is like this :/ Link to post Share on other sites
Jerry18 Posted November 24, 2009 Share Posted November 24, 2009 This is funny because I want the exact opposite at my school. I don't know why you want to respect people so much when doing so gets you nowhere. Link to post Share on other sites
ladyblondie Posted November 24, 2009 Share Posted November 24, 2009 You might want to consider dating an older woman like in her 20's where not everyday has to be a party, and she has responsibilities etc. There are nice girls around, but sometimes during high school, its hard to find. Older woman, in their 20's and possibly older would LOVE to date young cougars. Would you ever consider dating an older woman if you couldn't find a woman your age or around your age? Link to post Share on other sites
Author kairi and sora Posted November 24, 2009 Author Share Posted November 24, 2009 honestly, a couple years i wouldnt mind....but nothing extreme haha Link to post Share on other sites
ladyblondie Posted November 24, 2009 Share Posted November 24, 2009 Im talking between 25-28. Or even someone who is 23. Just alittle older then you, but yet had some of their poop together and has more on the ball then just drinking and partying and getting good ass. Link to post Share on other sites
EarthGirl Posted November 24, 2009 Share Posted November 24, 2009 yeah honestly the ONLY girls I know are "good girls"..if what you mean by good girls is nice honest funloving kindhearted people..and it was the same when I was in highschool and some of my friends/family members were in highschool as well (i.e. around your age)..I mean they are the same people now as they were then, if evolved in some ways in good ways mostly. I don't know exactly where you are looking that you find nothing but "bad girls" but that is not the world I live in. Link to post Share on other sites
amagordos Posted November 24, 2009 Share Posted November 24, 2009 There are good girls out there. You just haven't found one yet. Usually good girls keep to themselves or have too much going on to get involved in a relationship. Good girls have goals, ambitions and morals. I'm a good girl. Link to post Share on other sites
Angel1111 Posted November 24, 2009 Share Posted November 24, 2009 I see a lot of this, too, and wonder why history hasn't taught women to be more respectful of themselves. It amazes me how dumb they have actually gotten. I don't really understand Jerry18's comment about how respecting people doesn't get you anywhere - that's the most ridiculous statement I've ever heard. There's someone out there who thinks like you and who would also love your qualities. I'm sure you'll find her soon. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted November 24, 2009 Share Posted November 24, 2009 You might want to consider dating an older woman like in her 20's where not everyday has to be a party, and she has responsibilities etc. There are nice girls around, but sometimes during high school, its hard to find. Older woman, in their 20's and possibly older would LOVE to date young cougars. Would you ever consider dating an older woman if you couldn't find a woman your age or around your age? Men in their 20's come to LS and complain about the exact same problem. Link to post Share on other sites
melmelss Posted November 30, 2009 Share Posted November 30, 2009 it's the opposite here! guys don't want good girls. they don't want girls with respect for themselves and others, hobbies, interests, morals, and ambitions. they're just interested in hooking up, with good girls especially. no one wants a meaningful relationship based on friendship. it's killen meh. Link to post Share on other sites
aystro Posted December 1, 2009 Share Posted December 1, 2009 There are good girls out there. You just haven't found one yet. Usually good girls keep to themselves or have too much going on to get involved in a relationship. Good girls have goals, ambitions and morals. I'm a good girl. I need to reply to this. The trend is showing the " Live every day as the last day of your life". People hook up and sleep with everybody they can and like. They do this until the magic 30 number. Then they understand that they are too old to keep behaving like a prostitute and then they start to become more normal. A normal female will have A goal that's true. But it doesn't mean they are too busy with other things. Lots of girls have goals such as creating a family, or just enjoy their life to the fullest ( which doesn't include sleeping with other men). These type of people will usually come over as quite intense at a young age. I have to say thought the West is having a very shallow and materialistic view of happiness ( money, sex ). I like those things as well but I wouldn't cross the border in order to become obsessed with things that you shouldn't call an 'achievement' at all.. Link to post Share on other sites
rateyes Posted December 1, 2009 Share Posted December 1, 2009 I see a lot of this, too, and wonder why history hasn't taught women to be more respectful of themselves. It amazes me how dumb they have actually gotten. I don't really understand Jerry18's comment about how respecting people doesn't get you anywhere - that's the most ridiculous statement I've ever heard. There's someone out there who thinks like you and who would also love your qualities. I'm sure you'll find her soon. how are they disrespecting themselves? just cuz they like sex and drinking, they automatically have low self-esteem and hate themself? you may not agree with it, but its in no way "disrespectful" to yourslf if you enjoy doing it... and same here man, you tried college church groups or anything(FCA etc.)? its what im doing and I found one girl who doesnt party or anything and is athletic, perfect girl. Link to post Share on other sites
Throne Of Lies Posted December 7, 2009 Share Posted December 7, 2009 It's a numbers game man. If you are serious about finding some nice girl, and you should be- commit to it. What if good girls are 1% of the female population? Are you ready to put in the effort to date 99 girls before you get a keeper? Don't date girls in their mid twenties just because they are more settled- it's flawed logic. It isn't like all the the sex they have had in the past went away, and judging by your post, that is the sort of thing that will bother you. Hold out for a real good girl, not a reformed slut. Link to post Share on other sites
ADF Posted December 7, 2009 Share Posted December 7, 2009 It sounds to me like in order to be considered "good," girls have to subscribe to your rather quaint notions of sexual propriety. Here's a thought: maybe they don't like you because you come across as a self-rightious, judgemental jerk? Here's another thought: women don't owe it to you to like you just because you think you're such a good, morally upright guy. I recommend you get off you high horse, start going to bars, getting drunk and having one night stand until one of them sticks. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kairi and sora Posted December 7, 2009 Author Share Posted December 7, 2009 Um....my opinion of "good" may be different from yours, your friends, or anyone elses on this earth. I wasn't asking for a person such as....yourself to come on here flaming about my choices about what is morally right or wrong. My opinions are my own and who are you to tell me that they are wrong? Link to post Share on other sites
Dark_of_the_Moon Posted December 7, 2009 Share Posted December 7, 2009 I think you sound just fine, not everyone likes the party crowd thing (even when young). There are other people out there like you and the challenge is to only find them. Just be yourself, stay true to your own values. Others with the same values as you will be found. Link to post Share on other sites
sally4sara Posted December 7, 2009 Share Posted December 7, 2009 Um....my opinion of "good" may be different from yours, your friends, or anyone elses on this earth. I wasn't asking for a person such as....yourself to come on here flaming about my choices about what is morally right or wrong. My opinions are my own and who are you to tell me that they are wrong? This isn't a subject where anyone's opinion is "right". Opinions are never right or wrong. Neither is one opinion better than another. Have your opinion. Have your preference. But try to limit it to that and not go beyond it, to the point where you think your opinion makes you better than someone who feels differently about the subject. Some people are chaste, because they are comfortable being chaste. It is part of their personality - so being chaste isn't an accomplishment really as they would be uncomfortable being different. Some people are wild but think they are entitled to someone who has been chaste. You could find a good girl and 10 years later, she wishes she had experimented more before she settled down. The same thing could happen to you if you are currently living a sexually modest life now - down the road you might regret it or think that standard was silly. Link to post Share on other sites
Zoff Posted December 7, 2009 Share Posted December 7, 2009 how are they disrespecting themselves? just cuz they like sex and drinking, they automatically have low self-esteem and hate themself? you may not agree with it, but its in no way "disrespectful" to yourslf if you enjoy doing it... Maybe not disrespectful, but definitely not thinking long term. If someone, female or male, has slept with a sufficient number of people that they feel the need to conceal their past or lie about it to others then it's a sign that they've been around the block too many times. We can all call on sexual liberation as a defence but very few people feel truly unashamed of being promiscuous. Deep down we know that the more freely something is available, the less valuable it becomes. Sex is no different. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted December 7, 2009 Share Posted December 7, 2009 I have yet to meet a woman with big numbers who is ashamed of them, at least outwardly. At my age, women can have pretty big numbers I think, when the OP ceases to use labels even as evidence of his altruism, he will have evolved. Until then, enjoy the journey. You only get one chance As someone who's lived a 'sexually modest' life, I have no regrets. My instincts about my own psyche and perspective were spot-on at a young age. Only time proved that. One path of many. Acceptance is key, both of one's own path and that of others. Link to post Share on other sites
Peaceful Guy Posted December 8, 2009 Share Posted December 8, 2009 hey bud.. read your post, read everyone else's. got some input.. here goes. ..Is it too much to ask for, at my age, to find a "good girl".. i know you put "good girl" in quotes.. but i think that you should let go of that thought pattern. by your definition of "good girl", you would def. be excluding some people ive known that are incredibly good.. they've done amazing things for people.. and it honestly kind of hurts to hear that you wouldn't describe them as "good".. anyway.. I was brought up extremely well by my parents, im very chivalrous, nice to all girls, smart, dumb, pretty, ugly, looks arent very important in the opposite sex to me. thats good! u know, the kind of girl that actually wants to WAIT more than a month to have sex with someone after getting into a relationship with them, the kind that doesnt put such a big emphasis on sex in a relationship, and when they DO, its a special occasion, used by the couple to show how much they love each other, not just a casual hookup every weekend. this is what you want in a romantic partner. it is not the definition of good. ..seems like all the girls in high school/college just care about gettin drunk, going to parties hoooking up with random guys, and in turn, destroying their self esteem and more. some do.. some make mistakes.. some are having fun.. some are experimenting.. some know what they like.. some people will change.. some will choose these activities forever. its for them to decide though. be at peace with their decisions. so is it too much to ask for? no, its not.. but you can't expect other people to want the same things and make the same decisions as you. trust me, ive struggled with similar stuff before.. you HAVE to be a peace with their decisions to be happy with yours. you should also think about why your placing so much weight on these characteristics. like, i get why you don't care for the type of women you described but your leaving out so many different groups that make so many different decisions. for example, what about art students that go to the park and smoke pot and write poetry?.. they love the people in their lives.. couldnt imagine how much. how about people that just wanna dance? i could go on and on.. here's my point: life is not black and white. its not all "saints" and "sluts". and for the record, you've done very little to convince me of how good YOU are. just feel like im like one of the last guys of my age group, actually one of the last PEOPLE in my age group, that is like this :/ i met TONS of people that thought like that when i was that age. they hurt my feelings by being so self-righteous and judgemental of my decisions.. i distinctly remember them acting like they were better than me.. and im a very good, very caring person! Link to post Share on other sites
SpanksTheMonkey Posted December 8, 2009 Share Posted December 8, 2009 This is funny because I want the exact opposite at my school. I don't know why you want to respect people so much when doing so gets you nowhere. This is so so sad do you honestly feel this way? I respect the OP for his values and sticking to them thats rare now a days in young people! My advice #1 maybe try joining a religious youth group or as some one else suggested try older women thats about the only way you will find the mature women your looking for. Link to post Share on other sites
Kizzyfur Posted January 13, 2010 Share Posted January 13, 2010 I see a lot of this, too, and wonder why history hasn't taught women to be more respectful of themselves. It amazes me how dumb they have actually gotten. IMO it's because sex is so glamorized these days. Also a lot of girls think they have to do it in order for guys to like them. A lot of times it's the only attention a girl can get from a guy. This was true even back when I was in HS. Guys always tried to pressure me into doing something I wasn't ready for and when I'd turn them down they'd walk off. If guys treated women with more respect, women would have more respect for themselves. On the other hand, if women had more respect for themselves and just didn't care what guys thought, then guys would learn to have more respect for women. Link to post Share on other sites
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