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The just friends trap!


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OK so had an extra ticket to a concert that I was going to so I asked a girl that I have been friends with for a few years if she wanted to go. She said yes and we had a great time. I know that about a year ago she was very interested in me but I was with my ex so nothing came of it. Sine her and I have both recently gotten out of relationships I figured it was a good idea. I dropped her off at her place around eleven PM, She asked if I wanted to come in so I said sure. We watched TV for a few hours on her couch and after about an hour she had gotten real close. She was laying on my chest stroking my arm, my other arm was around her stoking her back. About four AM she fell asleep so I woke her up and asked her if she wanted to go to bed. She said yes so we got up and I gave her a hug and a little kiss. Now when I backed away it looked like she was wanting more maybe not to go farther but more kissing at least. I just left it at the one kiss and told her I would be in touch.

That was early Monday morning. The next few days she was texting me at night and we were talking about what a good time we had and that she couldn't wait to do it again I told her I felt the same way. We talked about movies we liked music etc. and made plans to get together again in the coming weekend. But as the weekend got closer she went cold I didn't get any texts form her for a day and a half so I sent her one. She said that she was sorry that she had been tired and had a lot on her mind. I told her not to worry about it and asked if we were still on for Sunday. She said can we play it buy ear. So I said sure I'll give you a call early afternoon.

So I called her and she said that she had been thinking a lot about the time that we spent together last week. She said she thought she could only see us as friends and didn't want to chance ruining that. She also said that she's dating someone els and wouldn't want to lead me on. She did say that she would like to see me again and that we could still hang out sometime.

So I'm not sure what to do I really like her and although I would like to take things slow with her or anyone els I don't want to fall into the "we're just friends" trap. Also I don't want to seem like a jerk and not call or spend time with her now that she has told me how she feels.

Hope you can help I'm so confused I really felt good about this. I feel something happened. She meet someone els, someone told her we wouldn't be good together I'm not sure but it seems she did a 180 in a matter of a few days. Thanyou.

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If you wanted more than friends you should have made that known years ago instead of hoping she would suddenly see what a wonderful guy you are and beg you to date her. Women want a guy who knows he wants more than friendship ( if that is what he wants ) and that will make her appreciate him as a dateable man and not just friends.

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YOu blew it dood. As soon as you denied her what she wanted, more kissing, she moved off to another guy. Thats the way it works.

 

Theres nothing you can do now, youre dead in the water.

 

The only thing you can do now is to cut her off, move on, and maybe catch up with her years later. SHow her she cant have only 50% of you. If you keep hanging with her now, you will further solidify in her mind how too nice of a guy you are. She has to lose you. Dont speak to her anymore since she couldnt wait for you.

 

Let this be a lesson to you, you dont have to take it slow to take a woman seriously.

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Ugh. That "I don't want to ruin our friendship" line is one of the worst. However, I don't think there's much you can do. If she's not interestedm she's just not. I'd spend less time with her in the future.

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Boogie boy, As I feared this is the kiss of death I am pretty much doing as you said at this point. How ever small the chance may be I want to do what ever I can to maximize it without being a total jerk.

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Dude I can tell you exactly when you blew it..

 

You asked "wanna go to bed"

She said yes

You left the damn house??

 

Are you mental? Even if you don't have sex.. never.. EVER!! leave when she has already agreed to hop in the same bed with you.

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