She just sees me as a friend, don't know what to do.

[Phateless]

Notice her use of tense.. she "missed" you... so she is assuming she has you back now perhaps.. may have just been a leash tug...

 

Rad.. we don't know if she likes him.. she may just be missing his shoulder and ear... its the other parts she needs to miss before he gives he anything more then cursory attention at this point.

 

Very, very true. We'll find out soon enough.

 

Doesn't that just tug at your heartstrings?

 

I smile because I know how good they really are at what they do.

 

Enjoy the dinner, do a lot of touching and give her a nice firm romantic kiss at the end of the evening (or earlier). If she does not respond passionately, smile and don't look back. She never gets the benefit of your lips or time or energy again.

 

Best answer in thread. DO THIS!

[agentsmith]

chatting with her online.

she's acting strange.

a bit too eager(as compared to her normal self) to keep the conversation going.

I told her about a date I went on a couple of days ago(it was with a girl that I've been casually dating, but she doesn't know that it's not anything serious at all.)

she just went silent for a while and ignored that part completely when she restarted the conversation.

she started talking about what we'd do tomorrow, which is uncharacteristic and rather odd in the sense that it's not the first time we're going out for dinner together.

[Yukikazi]

chatting with her online.

she's acting strange.

a bit too eager(as compared to her normal self) to keep the conversation going.

I told her about a date I went on a couple of days ago(it was with a girl that I've been casually dating, but she doesn't know that it's not anything serious at all.)

she just went silent for a while and ignored that part completely when she restarted the conversation.

she started talking about what we'd do tomorrow, which is uncharacteristic and rather odd in the sense that it's not the first time we're going out for dinner together.

 

These are good signs but don't fold.. your doing well and you don't wanna wuss out now.

 

And for kreist sake stop chatting her up outside of a date.. get offline asap.

[agentsmith]

I know I shouldn't, but I was actually online chatting with my sister.

She came and started a conversation. I wasn't talking much initially, but then she kept on sending messages, so I had to reply, otherwise she'd be sending messages asking why I was ignoring her once again.

[Chrome Barracuda]

your being an alpha male that's why she's attracted to you. Keep doing what your doing. but i warn you now. dont slip into the boring you, it could backfire on you.

[Yukikazi]

Ugh.. forum wont let me edit once someone posts behind me...

 

Add this to my previous post...

 

These are good signs but don't fold.. your doing well and you don't wanna wuss out now.

Her attitude towards you is adjusting.. keep doing what you are doing as she may be coming around. Remain noncommital but flirty.. she is starting to feel that pit where your affection used to be.. by being flirty but not committal she will learn that she has a lot of fun with you and very little when she isn't with you.. but if she wants to continue that fun trend.. she will have to step up as you don't have any problems acting like that to others.. she isn't special enough to be the only girl to receive your attention and now she may be starting to realize that if she doesn't try to get you.. you may not be around much longer to be gotten.

 

If you do go out to dinner tomorrow and come to realize it isn't the type of date you want.. if you end up at a public place like a bar or something.. try to excuse yourself at least once to say hi to some other ppl including a girl or 2... after all.. your having dinner and drinks with a friend.. not a gf.. nothing stopping you from meeting ppl right in front of her.

 

And for kreist sake stop chatting her up outside of a date.. get offline asap.

[agentsmith]

LOL

she sent me this message about the other woman I was talking about:

"So you're dating X now? I didn't realise you were serious about her..."

Me:" yeah, we've been dating for a while"

Her: "hmm, you move on fast."

 

Is she referring to herself?

Edited December 3, 2009 by agentsmith

[Yukikazi]

LOL

she sent me this message about the other woman I was talking about:

"So you're dating X now? I didn't realise you were serious about her..."

Me:" yeah, we are kinda serious"

She: "hmm, you move on fast."

 

Is she referring to herself?

 

Ok.. first you should not have said you were kinda serious.. while you wanna seem to be occupied with someone else.. you don't necessarily want her to think "oh well he's moved on".. its a careful balance.

 

Yes she was refering to herself.. she is realizeing you are looking at others now. Unless you recently broke up with someoen too.. she can only be talking about you moving on from her fast.

this is good..

[carhill]

your being an alpha male that's why she's attracted to you. Keep doing what your doing. but i warn you now. dont slip into the boring you, it could backfire on you.

Yeah, as someone who often has one foot on ice and the other on a banana peel wrt that boring 'girlfriend with a penis' dynamic, I approve this message.

[agentsmith]

^^ I edited the post to put in my exact words.

I said that we'd been dating for a while, to imply that we were sort of serious.

[Yukikazi]

no, I edited the post to put in my exact words.

I said that we'd been dating for a while, to imply that we were sort of serious.

Ok now you keep editing... from serious to awhile...

 

 

You don't want to imply seriousness.. just that you are looking around since she dosen't seem interested.

 

if she thinks its serious she may or may not continue chasing you... gotta keep it more vague.. you wanna pique her curosity and jealousy... not kneecap her in the process

[agentsmith]

My last serious relationship was a while back, I doubt she was referring to my ex.

[Yukikazi]

My last serious relationship was a while back, I doubt she was referring to my ex.

Exactly.. she is noticing your absence.. and the popular phrase is "absence makes the heart grow fonder"

You're absent.. she's growing fonder...

[agentsmith]

Ok now you keep editing... from serious to awhile...

 

 

You don't want to imply seriousness.. just that you are looking around since she dosen't seem interested.

 

if she thinks its serious she may or may not continue chasing you... gotta keep it more vague.. you wanna pique her curosity and jealousy... not kneecap her in the process

yeah, I'd put the conversation in short on here, not the exact words of the chat, so I edited.

I was unsure as to what to tell her, so I implied that we were serious to an extent.

Should I say something else to imply otherwise?

[Yukikazi]

BTW.. wtf was your response when she said "your moving on fast"

 

Don't imply seriousness.. what you ment by awhile is you've gone out a few times.. she's fun and interesting.. but not gf material.. you are not exclusive with her.

 

You gotta be careful not to close the door you're trying to get her to walk though

[carhill]

When my stbx and I met, she only indicated she was dating other men. She didn't go into details. I didn't ask questions.

 

OP, minimize the dynamic of others if she brings it up. You're not dating her, yet, right? If she asks a direct question, merely answer 'yes, I'm dating'. If she pushes it, deflect with a question or comment about your upcoming or prospective date .... 'I was thinking about XXX restaurant this Friday; what do you think?' This sends the message that you're focused on her and that the rest of your personal life is just that, personal.

 

Edited to add happy 13,000th post to me

[agentsmith]

BTW.. wtf was your response when she said "your moving on fast"

 

Don't imply seriousness.. what you ment by awhile is you've gone out a few times.. she's fun and interesting.. but not gf material.. you are not exclusive with her.

 

You gotta be careful not to close the door you're trying to get her to walk though

 

I really didn't know what to say, this convo is still going on btw.

I said: "?

What do you mean?"

She has replied:"I think you would know"

 

. 'I was thinking about XXX restaurant this Friday; what do you think?' This sends the message that you're focused on her and that the rest of your personal life is just that, personal.

I could start talking about that. She did ask me where I wanted to go; if I wanted to go out for coffee, too; and if I preferred having pasta at her place instead of going out, etc.

Congrats on your 13,000th post!

Edited December 3, 2009 by agentsmith

[Yukikazi]

I really didn't know what to say, this convo is still going on btw.

I said: "?

What do you mean?"

She has replied:"I think you would know"

 

OMG get off the damn net with her dude..

 

If you must continue the convo.. change the damn subject.

She is trying to get you to admit something as if you did soemthing wrong.

 

I could start talking about that. She did ask me where I wanted to go; if I wanted to go out for coffee, too; and if I preferred having pasta at her place, etc.

 

Dude.. she is asking you out.. its all up to her. Either she is taking you out or you are getting manuvered into taking command of the date and probably paying. Just tell her, you are up for whatever she wants to do. (noncommital).

[sugar_and_spice]

]OMG get off the damn net with her dude..

 

she sent me this message about the other woman I was talking about:

"So you're dating X now? I didn't realise you were serious about her..."

Me:" yeah, we've been dating for a while"

Her: "hmm, you move on fast.".

sounds like a desperate attempt to get you to say that you still have feelings for her.

[carhill]

Shes not at fault. He is

 

She told him exactly what she thought. She didnt jerk him around, or lead him on.

 

She likes the friendship, doesnt want anything more. Last I checked that isnt a criminal offense.

 

I dont think she means anything by what she just said either, other than she misses the friendship. But I dont take that as her playing with him. Shes acting like a friend, hes acting like a hurt bf

 

Here's what he wrote:

 

Anyway, we were out celebrating a mate's birthday, and she didn't say anything this time, just kept looking at me every few minutes.

I went up to her and asked her what was up, and she said, "you tell me what's up with you, why are you ignoring me, what did I do?"

I said she had done nothing, and that I was not ignoring her at all, I had simply been really busy at work.

She asked if we could go out for a while to chat. I agreed.

We went out, talked in general and she looked a little down so I asked her if she was okay.

She said , "I really missed you".

Huh?

 

This is exactly how women manipulate men. Imagine your best male friend coming up to you and saying that "why are you ignoring me?". It wouldn't happen. Those aren't the kind of expectations one has with friends. The first volley from her was to, in a public place, make him feel guilty for ignoring her, then she continues, augmenting that feeling, then throws a right cross with 'I really missed you'. Oh, baby, I missed you too.

 

I've been played this way so many times by so many female 'friends', I can read it a mile away without my glasses. She may not be doing it on purpose, but she's using her female tools of manipulation to get what she wants, meaning him back in line. Women do this like breathing. My stbx was an expert at it.

 

Response: 'I'm sorry you feel that way. Let's make Friday a date so you won't have to miss me anymore'

[Chrome Barracuda]

Another piece of advice to the OP if you think she's playing you or manipulating you to get what she wants, screw her and toss her in the street because apparently that's how you get back at people who manipulate you.

 

Dont be fooled. The alpha male bit might work but it goes to show you, it's all a game to her. If it isnt you and you know it. it shows you cant trust her.

 

I said it before she isnt girlfriend material, just a jumpoff, so dont put her in the same category. I hope it works out for you either way you choose.

[sugar_and_spice]

Another piece of advice to the OP if you think she's playing you or manipulating you to get what she wants, screw her and toss her in the street because apparently that's how you get back at people who manipulate you.

 

Dont be fooled. The alpha male bit might work but it goes to show you, it's all a game to her. If it isnt you and you know it. it shows you cant trust her.

 

I said it before she isnt girlfriend material, just a jumpoff, so dont put her in the same category. I hope it works out for you either way you choose.

 

this could be true, but i do think she has some feelings for you after reading your chat.

it could be either of the two things, that she genuinely has feelings for you, or she's playing around a bit because she wants all your attention but sees you as a friend.

you'll find out soon enough after your friday date.

[Yukikazi]

this could be true, but i do think she has some feelings for you after reading your chat.

it could be either of the two things, that she genuinely has feelings for you, or she's playing around a bit because she wants all your attention but sees you as a friend.

you'll find out soon enough after your friday date.

 

Its not a date unless she initiates flirty romance.. otherwise its a platonic dinner with flirting.

 

But yea it does seem she has some feelings for you but its a toss up of wants you or you are just convenient

[agentsmith]

*sigh*

she got grumpy because I kept trying to change the topic.

[phineas]

Here's what he wrote:

 

 

 

This is exactly how women manipulate men. Imagine your best male friend coming up to you and saying that "why are you ignoring me?". It wouldn't happen. Those aren't the kind of expectations one has with friends. The first volley from her was to, in a public place, make him feel guilty for ignoring her, then she continues, augmenting that feeling, then throws a right cross with 'I really missed you'. Oh, baby, I missed you too.

 

I've been played this way so many times by so many female 'friends', I can read it a mile away without my glasses. She may not be doing it on purpose, but she's using her female tools of manipulation to get what she wants, meaning him back in line. Women do this like breathing. My stbx was an expert at it.

 

Response: 'I'm sorry you feel that way. Let's make Friday a date so you won't have to miss me anymore'

 

Last week one of my "female friends" called.

I had my bluetooth on & my cell in my pocket so I honestly didn't know who was calling.

when I answered it was a woman who said "hi, did you miss me?"

I asked "who is this"

And she said "are you serious?"

And I said "Yeah, i'm on my blue tooth so I can't see my caller ID"

Dead silence.

Me " hello?"

Then she told me who she was & I was like "Hey, sorry didn't recognize your voice" & we talked.

 

I honestly can't recognize a womans voice on my crappy bluetooth.

But after reading this thread i'm wondering if she was put out because apparantly she isn't the only woman that calls me.

 

It's kinda funny actually.