dnm Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 Ordinarily, I wouldn't have made much of the "I miss you", etc. But having read most of your posts, and given the whole situation and events, I think I can say that, unless she's a major attention seeker, she does hold at least some feelings for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Phateless Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 OP - you're getting tooled here. From the way she's behaving, I'm losing respect for this girl FAST. She sounds too immature for a relationship in the first place. She shot you down when you asked her out before and now she's acting territorial?! WTF did she expect? You tell her that you've been on a few dates with the other girl but she's not quite what you're looking for. Move forward and talk about fun stuff. Make sure she knows you're available and KISS HER at the end of the night. edit - Yuki is giving you excellent advice! Follow it. Link to post Share on other sites
VeveCakes Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 Games games games She wants you to want her...that's all. Why are you playing into this girl! Link to post Share on other sites
Author agentsmith Posted December 4, 2009 Author Share Posted December 4, 2009 she apologised for her behaviour in an email and said that it was wrong of her to expect me to wait. erm? Link to post Share on other sites
Chrome Barracuda Posted December 4, 2009 Share Posted December 4, 2009 Told you so.... Now will you finally move on, and mess with someone who is into you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author agentsmith Posted December 4, 2009 Author Share Posted December 4, 2009 (edited) she thinks I'm serious about the other girl, cz of what i said. she said :" i'm sorry that I hoped you would wait. I know it's unreasonable of me. I guess you're happy with her." she mentioned that she wanted to talk about this. i guess i'll get to know what she truly feels tonight. Edited December 4, 2009 by agentsmith Link to post Share on other sites
sugar_and_spice Posted December 4, 2009 Share Posted December 4, 2009 I personally don't think she is purely playing around with you. She seems to be desperate for your attention, yes, but the feelings that she is now showing could well be real. Link to post Share on other sites
Yukikazi Posted December 4, 2009 Share Posted December 4, 2009 she thinks I'm serious about the other girl, cz of what i said. she said :" i'm sorry that I hoped you would wait. I know it's unreasonable of me. I guess you're happy with her." she mentioned that she wanted to talk about this. i guess i'll get to know what she truly feels tonight. This is the result of implying you been dating awhile/serious.. shouldn't have done that. The end result may not be what was intended. It was to look like you were starting to explore other options.. not you are already involved and dating someone awhile/serious. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
phineas Posted December 4, 2009 Share Posted December 4, 2009 Now you gotta break up this girl & start from scratch. Link to post Share on other sites
Author agentsmith Posted December 4, 2009 Author Share Posted December 4, 2009 This is the result of implying you been dating awhile/serious.. shouldn't have done that. The end result may not be what was intended. It was to look like you were starting to explore other options.. not you are already involved and dating someone awhile/serious. damn. what the hell do I do? I'm meeting her in a few hours. Link to post Share on other sites
dnm Posted December 4, 2009 Share Posted December 4, 2009 Stick with the advice that the guys gave you, I think it will still work. You might want to tell her that you're not serious with this other woman before you kiss her. Link to post Share on other sites
Yukikazi Posted December 4, 2009 Share Posted December 4, 2009 damn. what the hell do I do? I'm meeting her in a few hours. Downplay it.. you've only gone out a couple times... she isn't quite what you're looking for.. etc.. If she thinks/accepts you have totally moved on already, she may give up entirely. I think its pretty safe to say she does have feelings for you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
dnm Posted December 4, 2009 Share Posted December 4, 2009 Downplay it.. you've only gone out a couple times... she isn't quite what you're looking for.. etc.. If she thinks/accepts you have totally moved on already, she may give up entirely. I think its pretty safe to say she does have feelings for you. Yes. That is what her email indicates. I would be very surprised if it turns out that she's just attention seeking now. Link to post Share on other sites
Yukikazi Posted December 4, 2009 Share Posted December 4, 2009 btw i can't remember through all the posts.. so clarify please.. She said she wasn't ready at one point correct? Assuming that was due to a previous relationship that went sour? How long ago was that breakup? Link to post Share on other sites
phineas Posted December 4, 2009 Share Posted December 4, 2009 btw i can't remember through all the posts.. so clarify please.. She said she wasn't ready at one point correct? Assuming that was due to a previous relationship that went sour? How long ago was that breakup? Good point. He may need to slow play this if she is putting herself out there before she is ready because she thinks she might loose him. But, this is If she likes him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author agentsmith Posted December 4, 2009 Author Share Posted December 4, 2009 Yes, she had a really tough time in both her previous two long term relationships. Her female friends also told me that she had to deal with emotional abuse in the last one, and that she had earlier vowed to be single because of what happened. This was a few years ago, when she was living in her home country. Link to post Share on other sites
Yukikazi Posted December 4, 2009 Share Posted December 4, 2009 So its been years since she has been in a relationship and yet STILL isn't over it? Umm yea if that's the case.. you're probably gonna have to move on anyways.. if its been years and she still can't bring herself to date... I wouldn't wanna wait around... Are her friends putting any pressure on her to get with you? clarify again.. Length of time you have known her How long after meeting you started to show outward signs of liking her/her knowing. i.e known her 1 year.. starting liking her and showing it 8 months after meeting her so been dancing like this for 4 months now. If she is that emotionally broken.. do you really wanna deal with that? Seriously think about that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author agentsmith Posted December 4, 2009 Author Share Posted December 4, 2009 (edited) So its been years since she has been in a relationship and yet STILL isn't over it? Umm yea if that's the case.. you're probably gonna have to move on anyways.. if its been years and she still can't bring herself to date... I wouldn't wanna wait around... Are her friends putting any pressure on her to get with you? clarify again.. Length of time you have known her How long after meeting you started to show outward signs of liking her/her knowing. i.e known her 1 year.. starting liking her and showing it 8 months after meeting her so been dancing like this for 4 months now. If she is that emotionally broken.. do you really wanna deal with that? Seriously think about that. that relationship was around 3 years ago she moved here 2.5 years ago, I have known her since then she has recovered, in the sense that she took therapy, sessions with her psychologist etc, which she only stopped recently. no, I don't think any pressure would work on her anyway. her friends did say that she talks about me all the time and they were pretty sure that she wants to be with me. I have known her for a couple of months less than 2.5 years, after 1.5 years I started having these feelings. Told her 2 months ago, started finding it difficult to be around her, as I just wanted to be with her more and more. Edited December 4, 2009 by agentsmith Link to post Share on other sites
Yukikazi Posted December 4, 2009 Share Posted December 4, 2009 that relationship was around 3 years ago she moved here 2.5 years ago, I have known her since then she has recovered, in the sense that she took therapy, sessions with her psychologist etc, which she only stopped recently. no, I don't think any pressure would work on her anyway. her friends did say that she talks about me all the time and they were pretty sure that she wants to be with me. I have known her for a couple of months less than 2.5 years, after 1.5 years I started having these feelings. Told her 2 months ago, started finding it difficult to be around her, as I just wanted to be with her more and more. Well you could ask your friends if they know whats holding her back after all this time. Or Ask her yourself tonight when you talk to her. Ask her friends to mention that if she dosen't start coming around soon, you're moving on for real. (be discreet about this of course) Link to post Share on other sites
Author agentsmith Posted December 4, 2009 Author Share Posted December 4, 2009 (edited) Well you could ask your friends if they know whats holding her back after all this time. Or Ask her yourself tonight when you talk to her. Ask her friends to mention that if she dosen't start coming around soon, you're moving on for real. (be discreet about this of course) so should I or should I not (try to) kiss her today? I could call one of them before the dinner, but won't that look odd? I'm good friends with a couple of them, though. Edited December 4, 2009 by agentsmith Link to post Share on other sites
Yukikazi Posted December 4, 2009 Share Posted December 4, 2009 so should I or should I not (try to) kiss her today? I could call one of them before the dinner, but won't that look odd? I'm good friends with a couple of them, though. Thats gonna depend on the conversation and how its panning out.. Sorry dude.. but since we can be reasonably sure she isn't playing a game with you.. but you've managed to get yourself in the grey area where she may give up due to the "other relationship".. its difficult to give you a yes or no answer.. its all gonna depend on how your night progresses and her responses. Link to post Share on other sites
Author agentsmith Posted December 4, 2009 Author Share Posted December 4, 2009 Thats gonna depend on the conversation and how its panning out.. Sorry dude.. but since we can be reasonably sure she isn't playing a game with you.. but you've managed to get yourself in the grey area where she may give up due to the "other relationship".. its difficult to give you a yes or no answer.. its all gonna depend on how your night progresses and her responses. Should I tell her that there is nothing much going on with the other girl? Link to post Share on other sites
Jerseyboy. Posted December 4, 2009 Share Posted December 4, 2009 Never bring up other girls to women Never accomplishes what guys imagine Link to post Share on other sites
Yukikazi Posted December 4, 2009 Share Posted December 4, 2009 Never bring up other girls to women Never accomplishes what guys imagine Actually it worked fine in this case.. just a mis-communication fubar'd it a bit. Lost.. don't bring up the other girl unless she does first.. and she probably will. Just say its not serious.. enjoy each others company.. not what you are looking for.. maybe imply she came onto you rather then the other way around. Gives you social proof that others are looking at you also, shows you are attractive to other women, eases her worries that you have moved on (hopefully). The point you want to convey is that you are open to others but not unwilling to work with this one if she should start giving some reciprocation. It seems she'll be willing to hook up with you.. but she needs to get her nerve back and kick the damn snowball down the hill so it can work its magic. Link to post Share on other sites
aaron12 Posted December 4, 2009 Share Posted December 4, 2009 . but she needs to get her nerve back and kick the damn snowball down the hill so it can work its magic. lol what? anyway, I think she ought to know that you're not involved with anyone else. Link to post Share on other sites
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