Yukikazi Posted December 4, 2009 Share Posted December 4, 2009 lol what? anyway, I think she ought to know that you're not involved with anyone else. She is the one holding back the possible relationship.. until she is ready to roll the snowball down the hill to get the relationship going.. Him not being involved got him nowhere.. once he started pulling away and not paying as much attention to her (spreading it around to others) she started chasing him. Thats the effect we want. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author agentsmith Posted December 4, 2009 Author Share Posted December 4, 2009 going to pick her up. hoping things will work out. Link to post Share on other sites
Yukikazi Posted December 4, 2009 Share Posted December 4, 2009 You're going to pick her up? Gl dude.. make mental notes and let us know... Link to post Share on other sites
Author agentsmith Posted December 4, 2009 Author Share Posted December 4, 2009 (edited) yes. license issues for being from a non-EU country, etc. Irrelevant. But basically she asked me to pick her up on the way if I could. Going to the same restaurant she mentioned last week, but I had refused. edit: like i said before, we work two blocks from each other. Edited December 4, 2009 by agentsmith Link to post Share on other sites
Yukikazi Posted December 4, 2009 Share Posted December 4, 2009 Ah gotcha.. then yea.. pickup is fine.. Link to post Share on other sites
Phateless Posted December 4, 2009 Share Posted December 4, 2009 Good luck bro! NOTES: the other girl - "we went out a few times but she's not what i'm looking for." - THAT'S IT. kiss her at the end You got this! She definitely likes you, she's just scared to get involved. Now that she knows you won't wait around for her forever (in her own words) there is a sense of urgency so she has a reason to push past the friend zone. Go get her! Link to post Share on other sites
sugar_and_spice Posted December 4, 2009 Share Posted December 4, 2009 best of luck. I think it will work out. Link to post Share on other sites
aaron12 Posted December 5, 2009 Share Posted December 5, 2009 She is the one holding back the possible relationship.. until she is ready to roll the snowball down the hill to get the relationship going.. ] ah okay... Link to post Share on other sites
Author agentsmith Posted December 5, 2009 Author Share Posted December 5, 2009 (edited) I edited half the stuff out from the post but it's still really long! Sorry. ---------- The dinner/'date' was great! Things turned out much better than I had hoped for! I picked her up and then we left for dinner, initially talking about work and other general things. Then she brought up about the other girl. I told her that we don't have much in common, so I'm not into her much. She said that I didn't have to hide it from her if I actually was serious and that I had earlier said that we were serious, to which I replied that I had simply stated that we had been dating for a while, not that we were very close and serious. She smiled (and tried to say something but stopped at "I thought...") at that and looked quite happy through the rest of the meal. She even held my hand for sometime while we were sitting there. When I went to drop her off, she asked me to come up for coffee. We sat down on the sofa and she said, "so, you're still single right?" I told her I was, adding jokingly, "I'm still waiting." She asked for what, and I answered, "I think you know." She didn't reply, just looked at, smiling pretty affectionately this time. She then put her head on my shoulders, I put my arms around her, and we just sat like that for a while. She suddenly looked at me and asked me if I still felt the same way as earlier. I wasn't too sure what to say, but I decided to be honest. Her: I wanted to tell you something. Me: Go ahead. Her: I...I didn't mean what I told you. Me: Didn't mean what? Her: You know, that I never looked at you in the romantic way. Me: And...? Her: Uh...I do, I mean, I do feel the same...as you do...I just wasn't... Me: Yeah? Her: wasn't ready. She then told me about what all she had to face in the last one and that she took a really long time to recover from it. I knew most of this through her friend, but some of the stuff she told me yesterday was pretty shocking. She really had to go through a lot. She didn't say much for a while, so I held her hand and hugged her. She hugged back and held on for quite a while. Her: Do you still want to be with me? Me:You know that I do. You? She kissed me on the cheek. I responded by slowly kissing her on the lips, and she kissed back :) We did a bit of 'other stuff' as well, (no, that does not include sleeping with her). ----------- As you can imagine, I'm over the moon:):) Honestly didn't think we'd be kissing and all today. ---------- Edited December 5, 2009 by agentsmith 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Yukikazi Posted December 5, 2009 Share Posted December 5, 2009 Congrats dude.. glad things seem to be turning for the better Link to post Share on other sites
Author agentsmith Posted December 5, 2009 Author Share Posted December 5, 2009 Yeah, can't believe she feels the same, I'm glad I waited. I was at her home till 5 am lol Thanks so much for the advice! I don't think all this would have happened had I not followed the advice on here. So thanks a lot once again. Link to post Share on other sites
Yukikazi Posted December 5, 2009 Share Posted December 5, 2009 (edited) See thats just it.. you didn't wait.. you showed her you were prepared to move on and you would have had she not stepped up. btw.. when she asked if you still wanted to be with her.. did she give you the DDB (doggie dinner bowl) eyes? Edited December 5, 2009 by Yukikazi Link to post Share on other sites
Author agentsmith Posted December 5, 2009 Author Share Posted December 5, 2009 yeah, actually that's true. she did say she was extremely hurt when I was doing that, which made feel somewhat guilty, but really, I don't think we'd be together had I not done that. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted December 5, 2009 Share Posted December 5, 2009 I hope this experience obviates the nagging feeling I'm having right now. Good on you I like to see positive stories during the Holidays BTW, the nagging feeling is that I feel she's in control of the relationship, meaning you don't see her as one potential, but as the only potential. Happy to be wrong on that one Link to post Share on other sites
Author agentsmith Posted December 5, 2009 Author Share Posted December 5, 2009 BTW, the nagging feeling is that I feel she's in control of the relationship, meaning you don't see her as one potential, but as the only potential. Happy to be wrong on that one I'm not sure I get what you mean. As in, that I'm not looking at other girls as potential girlfriends? Link to post Share on other sites
Yukikazi Posted December 5, 2009 Share Posted December 5, 2009 2 points.. imo you should have kissed her when you said "I think you know" and she started "smiling at you affectionately" missed that chance.. but she was determined enough to give you another opening Second opening was when she asked if you still wanted to be with her.. did she give you the DDB (doggy dinner bowl) eyes? come on man I wanna know Good job for stepping up that time. But remember.. don't go back to being her puppy.. Stick by any difference of opinions you may have and don't submit to every whim she has.. i.e.. don't carry her damn purse. Link to post Share on other sites
Author agentsmith Posted December 5, 2009 Author Share Posted December 5, 2009 2 points.. imo you should have kissed her when you said "I think you know" and she started "smiling at you affectionately" missed that chance.. but she was determined enough to give you another opening Second opening was when she asked if you still wanted to be with her.. did she give you the DDB (doggy dinner bowl) eyes? come on man I wanna know Good job for stepping up that time. But remember.. don't go back to being her puppy.. Stick by any difference of opinions you may have and don't submit to every whim she has.. i.e.. don't carry her damn purse. lol, no I won't be her puppy. yep, the way she looked at me, I was really tempted to kiss her there and then, but after messing up the situation wrt the other girl the other day, I decided to hang on for a while at least. Link to post Share on other sites
bbf Posted December 5, 2009 Share Posted December 5, 2009 Wow this thread was very entertaining. And congrats to the OP. It was like watching a reenactment of Cyrano de Bergerac, with a happy holiday ending! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Yukikazi Posted December 5, 2009 Share Posted December 5, 2009 lol, no I won't be her puppy. yep, the way she looked at me, I was really tempted to kiss her there and then, but after messing up the situation wrt the other girl the other day, I decided to hang on for a while at least. Don't hesitate.. they can smell it and its a turnoff.. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted December 5, 2009 Share Posted December 5, 2009 I'm not sure I get what you mean. As in, that I'm not looking at other girls as potential girlfriends? Specifically, my impression is that you see this lady as your only potential. If this is incorrect, I'll redact that. If correct, IME, this focuses too much attention and emotion on one person too soon and can cause a schism in the dynamic of the growing relationship. Much depends on your psychology. IMO, if thoughts of her are consuming you, irrespective of other aspects of your life, I'd be careful. I'm not giving this warning to be negative, but rather to help with pacing. I've been guilty of the too much too fast syndrome and wouldn't want you to experience those kinds of results. My advice at this point is to accept her words as positive and expect her actions to reflect them. Lots of mistletoe and eggnog and cuddling in front of the fire Link to post Share on other sites
Author agentsmith Posted December 5, 2009 Author Share Posted December 5, 2009 Don't hesitate.. they can smell it and its a turnoff.. perhaps, didn't have much time to react so I did what felt right at that time. Link to post Share on other sites
Author agentsmith Posted December 5, 2009 Author Share Posted December 5, 2009 Specifically, my impression is that you see this lady as your only potential. If this is incorrect, I'll redact that. Yes and no. I dated several other women, but I was extremely keen on being with her, so I suppose that means that she was in my mind throughout. The fact that we get to see each other all the time as a result of having the same friends didn't help either. Link to post Share on other sites
Yukikazi Posted December 5, 2009 Share Posted December 5, 2009 perhaps, didn't have much time to react so I did what felt right at that time. hehe.. whatever works dude Link to post Share on other sites
Author agentsmith Posted December 5, 2009 Author Share Posted December 5, 2009 she's coming over after dinner. it's ok to see her often now right, or do i still need to be cautious about something? Link to post Share on other sites
jerbear Posted December 5, 2009 Share Posted December 5, 2009 she's coming over after dinner. it's ok to see her often now right, or do i still need to be cautious about something? Get some condoms... but you get my drift. Link to post Share on other sites
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