MRA_NYC Posted November 26, 2009 Share Posted November 26, 2009 Agentsmith: Pull out. No contact. No excuses, just do it. It might suck, but remaining friends with a woman you unrequitedly love is going to scrap your confidence and self-image. There's a small chance she will start to value you once you disappear, and she'll be more attracted to you. It's unlikely, but it's the only shot you've got at winning her affections. That said, if this doesn't happen, don't sweat it. Link to post Share on other sites
gypsy_nicky Posted November 27, 2009 Share Posted November 27, 2009 I'm too lazy to read every reply, but this is classic narcissism. What makes you think she would jump your bones, just because you "have feelings for her" ??? Is she desperate? Here's an idea: Do things for her that women love. Like flowers, notes, compliments, and the occasional mind-numbing O. OMG, serious fail. No. Link to post Share on other sites
gypsy_nicky Posted November 27, 2009 Share Posted November 27, 2009 phateless is spot on. OP, your best bet now is to go with her actions. Not with what she's saying. Remember the age old cliche 'actions speak louder than words'. Carhill, Im sorry, even though you do have experience in relationships, your advice is clearly doing more impinging than helping. Sometimes experience is a good teacher, oftentimes its a crutch that we use to repeat the same mistakes over and over again. Link to post Share on other sites
Phateless Posted November 27, 2009 Share Posted November 27, 2009 why don't you talk to her about this? As in, why don't you just ask her if her past relationships are stopping her from getting involved with you. Tough task, but well. DEFINITELY NOT. Talking instead of doing is what got him into this situation in the first place. Gypsy Nicky - thanks. For the 4th time: Change her mood, not her mind. Link to post Share on other sites
james123 Posted November 27, 2009 Share Posted November 27, 2009 DEFINITELY NOT. Talking instead of doing is what got him into this situation in the first place. Gypsy Nicky - thanks. For the 4th time: Change her mood, not her mind. oh well, it's best to be straightforward. imo Link to post Share on other sites
Phateless Posted November 27, 2009 Share Posted November 27, 2009 oh well, it's best to be straightforward. imo In certain situations, yes. In this situation it sounds like being straightforward made her feel awkward. Better to just continue the "vibe" and eventually make a move. If she's not interested, she'll let him know then. But if she is then she'll kiss back. This is about feelings, not rationality. Link to post Share on other sites
aaron12 Posted November 27, 2009 Share Posted November 27, 2009 My bad. Just gush and tell her "But I love you!!!1!1!!" and don't actually DO stuff that women appreciate like showing her you're a man and could support her. I was WAY off. How would sending flowers and all be a better option? He'll never get anywhere that way. Link to post Share on other sites
james123 Posted November 27, 2009 Share Posted November 27, 2009 In certain situations, yes. In this situation it sounds like being straightforward made her feel awkward. Better to just continue the "vibe" and eventually make a move. If she's not interested, she'll let him know then. But if she is then she'll kiss back. This is about feelings, not rationality. fair enough. I wonder if it would be better for him to stay out of touch with her for a while. Link to post Share on other sites
Phateless Posted November 27, 2009 Share Posted November 27, 2009 fair enough. I wonder if it would be better for him to stay out of touch with her for a while. Funny you say that, because that was my original advice earlier in the thread. Link to post Share on other sites
james123 Posted November 28, 2009 Share Posted November 28, 2009 Funny you say that, because that was my original advice earlier in the thread. just saw that lol Link to post Share on other sites
ella23 Posted November 28, 2009 Share Posted November 28, 2009 agree with phateless. don't waste time talking here, just act. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author agentsmith Posted November 28, 2009 Author Share Posted November 28, 2009 haven't been in contact again. she tried calling me today. Link to post Share on other sites
sugar_and_spice Posted November 29, 2009 Share Posted November 29, 2009 stay away for at least a few days. Link to post Share on other sites
Yukikazi Posted November 29, 2009 Share Posted November 29, 2009 haven't been in contact again. she tried calling me today. You were busy.. you're busy alot these days... you may be able to slip her in for a few hours somewhere.. maybe next Saturday evening from 2-4:15 Why 4:15??? because you got busy stuff to do at 4:16 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ella23 Posted November 29, 2009 Share Posted November 29, 2009 lol so that she gets the message. Link to post Share on other sites
sugar_and_spice Posted November 30, 2009 Share Posted November 30, 2009 you should meet up with her now really Link to post Share on other sites
Phateless Posted November 30, 2009 Share Posted November 30, 2009 You were busy.. you're busy alot these days... you may be able to slip her in for a few hours somewhere.. maybe next Saturday evening from 2-4:15 Why 4:15??? because you got busy stuff to do at 4:16 Exactly. She's used to you being at her beck and call, which implies that her time is more valuable than yours. You've allowed yourself to be taken for granted. What you're doing by being too busy is flipping the script on her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author agentsmith Posted November 30, 2009 Author Share Posted November 30, 2009 Exactly. She's used to you being at her beck and call, which implies that her time is more valuable than yours. You've allowed yourself to be taken for granted. What you're doing by being too busy is flipping the script on her. Got 4-5 texts from her today, asking to come for dinner over to her place. Was really tempted, but told her I couldn't meet her before the weekend. Was that the right thing to do? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author agentsmith Posted November 30, 2009 Author Share Posted November 30, 2009 she also wrote something like "since you're ALWAYS too busy to take calls, I thought I'd text you". lol Link to post Share on other sites
Yukikazi Posted November 30, 2009 Share Posted November 30, 2009 Got 4-5 texts from her today, asking to come for dinner over to her place. Was really tempted, but told her I couldn't meet her before the weekend. Was that the right thing to do? Good job.. she shouldn't expect you to be sitting at home waiting for her. You already made plans to hang out or something.. She hasn't proven she is worth breaking plans for yet. Text her back saying " yep all my manwhores are slacking off from Thanksgiving.. I gotta get them back in line." Sign off with "Keeping da pimp hand strong" But remember to agree to dinner this weekend. Link to post Share on other sites
sugar_and_spice Posted December 1, 2009 Share Posted December 1, 2009 Text her back saying " yep all my manwhores are slacking off from Thanksgiving.. I gotta get them back in line." Sign off with "Keeping da pimp hand strong" lol but no, really, if she's inviting you over for dinner at her home you should go. Link to post Share on other sites
Yukikazi Posted December 1, 2009 Share Posted December 1, 2009 lOl.. yea.. no really.. Its a twisted sword edge.. If he doesn't have plans.. then he looks like he has no life If he breaks plans or changes them last minute to accommodate her.. he's whipped enough for her to notice he will drop all and come running at her whim.. this is a turn off as it shows lack of confidence and neediness. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Phateless Posted December 1, 2009 Share Posted December 1, 2009 lOl.. yea.. no really.. Its a twisted sword edge.. If he doesn't have plans.. then he looks like he has no life If he breaks plans or changes them last minute to accommodate her.. he's whipped enough for her to notice he will drop all and come running at her whim.. this is a turn off as it shows lack of confidence and neediness. lol yup. Make plans to see her when you have time. DO NOT rearrange your schedule for her. Don't undersell your own value. Link to post Share on other sites
Author agentsmith Posted December 2, 2009 Author Share Posted December 2, 2009 Yeah, in any case I was out with my mates. I again got a text from her asking if I was annoyed for some reason and if so, then she was sorry. Link to post Share on other sites
Yukikazi Posted December 2, 2009 Share Posted December 2, 2009 Yeah, in any case I was out with my mates. I again got a text from her asking if I was annoyed for some reason and if so, then she was sorry. No you aren't annoyed.. just busy. She is starting to miss the fact that you are not around as much anymore it seems. Now you need to be seen flirting with other girls and then its up to her.. she can either realize what she had, realizes and expresses feelings for you.. just acts like a happy friend who supports you or follows the other girls to the bathroom and drowns them all in the toilets in an ill conceived attempt to redirect your attention back to her. Either way maintain your position.. She needs to realize that if she spurs your affections.. you will look elsewhere and that means less time and attention for her. She will either go out of her way to bring you back to her or you may actually meet someone and stop fawning all over this girl. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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