My Love Life Is Getting Like The Titanic

[johnnywinner]

Hi, HAPPY HOLIDAYS!, MY NAME IS JOHN.i AM IN A 3 YEAR RELATIONSHIP.bASICALLY FOR THE WHOLE TIME MY GF WANTED TO MARRY ME.I was dealing with my dad passing away and the grief.She wanted me to marry her.She was offered a job in her native country,I WAS SAD AND TOLD HER TO WAIT.She refused.We stayed in a long distance relationship.Meanwhile, my mother about 8 months after dad passed away,goes on a trip for the holiday.She becomes ill and ends up in the hospiral and days later suddenly passes away.I AM STUNNED AND IN SHOCK. NOW,I HAVE 2 LOSSES.She a number of months later,tells me she does not want kids and does not want to marry in the future.I ASK FOR EXPLANATIONS.She then refuses my marriage proposal. I DECIDED TO LEAVE HER ALONE.iT HURT TOO MUCH TO TALK AND HER TO BE COLD.I DID NOT CALL HER.aBOUT ONE MONTH LATER,SHE CALLS ME.She is sorry.SHE DID NOT THINK I WAS SERIOUS ABOUT MARRYING HER.SHE THOUGHT IT WAS A WAY TO GET her to return.. At this point, WE DISCUSS OUR FUTURE.I AGREE TO BUYING A HOUSE AND GETTING A CAR FOR HER.sHE DEMANDS THAT HER DOG SLEEP IN OUR BED. i CAN NOT AGREE.She becomes a tyrant on this isuue.She has the dog for 13 years. Then,I GET A LETTER.She stated that she did not feel she should wait home for my calls.She feels that why should she cry and be sad with me,life is too short to cry. EVERYBODY MUST DEAL WITH THEIR OWN LIFE.SHE DID NOT WANT TO HELP ME.SHE DID NOT UNDERSTAND MY LIFE. At this time i was in mourning.She sent another letter.Rhis time she says,she does not think it is nice that she has to leave her country,friends and family to come and be a housewife,cook and maid,while her dog cant sleep in the bed.Meanwhile,I NEVER TOLD HER TO DO ANY OF THOSE THINGS.i wrote back to say she was being inconsiderate and non feeling.I CALLED HER TO DISCUSS WHY SHE TOLD ME ALL THOSE THINGS?I was told what do you care.So what?I ASKED AGAIN,BUT SHE SHRUGGED ME OFF.i WAS TOLD BY HER,WHAT DO YOU WANT? I told her that i want a committed marriage based on togetherness and caring and love and building a future.She said,no, I do not want that life.If i am in that life i will probably be unhappy and leave.I WAS SHOCKED. i wrote to her and politely let her go.It hurt tremendously.Meanwhile, i heard from a friend that she called her mom and inquired if it was true that aitfares were as expensive as i had said and do you think i was really looking inro flights.BECAUSE,I HAD SAID THAT i wiuld pay for her flight if she came.ANYWAY,WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT ALL THIS.iS SHE AFRAID OF COMMITMENT?iS SHE BEING INFLUENCED BY THE FRIENDS? I LOVE HER,BUT I CANT KNOW WHAT TO THINK OR DO? PLEASE RESPOND WITH YOUR IDEAS.THANK YOU. EXTREMELY APPRECIATIVE, JOHNNY

[Stupid PeopleSUCK!]

QUIT YELLING!!! What? You have terrets or something!?

[JOHNNYWINNER]

I seriously would like opinions on my situation.Thank you ahead of time, for the kind responses. I appreciate everyone's viewpoints on this matter.. /JOHNNYWINNER

[Thinkalot]

I don't know you or her, or all the ins and outs of your relationship, but based on what you've said, she does sound committment shy (of a relationship with YOU anyway), and also a bit selfish. You are mourning the loss of your parents. You need support at this time. You don't need to go back and forth with this woman. You can either decide on a mutal path forward, in a country you will be both be happy in, or not. If you cannot agree, or commit to each other, then however hard it may be for you, you may be better off simply letting her go and looking after yourself, healing, and moving on.

 

Best of luck to you.

[NotaBadGuy]

Jonnywinner, I am sorry to hear about your losses. It must be a tough time. Thanks for posting this thread. As an outside party, I will try to give you my thoughts. This woman seems to be inconsiderate of your feelings and the emotional losses you have experienced. Instead of comforting you in your time of need, she seems to have herself in mind. She seems to be off and on about the whole marriage and relationship issue. It appears that commitment and marriage are not at the top of her list. The dog issue, I don't know what that is about, but it sounds to me that she wants to be in control and that this is an example. I am sure is is a special and caring woman. She has to be for you to consider marriage. Man, I would tell you to let this woman find who she is before you put alot more energy into this relationship. She has to come to the conclusion herself. Just my thoughts though. Good luck Jonny. Best of wishes. Always keep your head up.