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FWB - why for so long?


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This is a question I've been wanting to ask my ex-FWB for a while, but i don't know if it's worth asking, so let me ask you guys first =) Here goes:

 

I understand flings - guy get a girl, sleep with her a couple of times, done, moving on. I understand dating - guy try to get to know the girl and see where things go. But what my ex-FWB did, I don't understand - he didn't try to date me, but he was my FWB for at least 4-5 months (not counting other on&off periods). It's not like he couldn't get another girl (he's hot as hell), it's not like i'm the best sex-partner (i'm not experienced at all), it's not like he was trying to date me and i wasn't letting him (although his story is that he wanted to date me when we met, but realized i'm not ready for a serious r/s hence simply FWBed me).

 

So - why why why? It's not like I'm hoping he had feelings for me - I just want to understand why a man would do that - because if it's not a fling, and not dating, what the hell is it?!... Several times, I explicitly asked him not to contact me ever again - he waited a month or so and began to call me again, until he got me back into the FWBing. It all ended only when he returned to his marriage, but even now, he calls me now and then.

 

I guess a second question is - if I asked HIM this, do you think i'd get a proper explanation? I know you guys aren't psychic - but opinions/comments are very welcome.

 

thanks,

-yes

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Maybe I missed something Yes.....but doesn't the 'FWB' status of the relationship pretty much explain why he was there and where his head was at? (No pun intended)

 

It's that WIERD place where you are 'more than friends' yet 'less than a couple'.

 

If you agreed to it, then he may not understand why you need an explanation now. I was in a relationship like that once during a time when I was all messed up from the break up from hell. It was the only time when 'no committment' worked for me. But in a offbeat way, we DID have a committment....there just wasn't words to describe it.

 

Months later, we still talk on the phone, or at work and are still the best of friends. We aren't intimate anymore though. We never broke up, so to speak, we just happily drifted away because the relationship was no longer needed in it's original capacity. I think only one other person ever knew about it.

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FWB is _my_ term, he never called it that. We weren't ever friends - he was all over me right the night we met, and became intimate within a month or so. So I guess FWB is the wrong term, sorry to confuse you!

 

I guess the question is - what were we?? Not fling, not dating, not FWB (b/c no friendship) ... I don't know - was i just sooo convenient? Or maybe he just liked me, and saw no reason to stop ... but also no reason to make it into a relationship. I dunno. *confused*

 

-yes

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