Women with curves are attractive and desirable

[Stockalone]

Agreed and yet, getting into shape is possible for everyone. It just takes dedication to getting healthy.

 

I didn't say it's impossible to get in shape and/or stay in shape.

 

Granted, being morbidly obese with a high level of body fat and being healthy is not possible. But you can be overweight and still be healthy.

 

 

People should want to do it for themselves.

 

I never exercised a single minute for myself, out of a desire to be healthy.

 

I exercised because I needed a fit body as an athlete and then as a soldier. Staying in shape to attract women was also a concern, though only a minor one.

 

Once none of these three external factors remained, I stopped exercising, which is why I am fat now. While at least one of these factors was still there, I kept exercising.

 

I believe that people buy into the, IMO false, idea that there is a definite correlation between body type + exercise and a certain mindset. People exercise or don't exercise for various reasons.

 

Just as some people work out to stay healthy and/or thin, others can work out less, and simply stay at a higher weight (overweight) and also be healthy. I would consider someone healthy if he goes to his doc, does a check up and all important parameters are within the acceptable spectrum. If your blood pressure is okay, your organs function properly and you have normal blood values, I don't see the problem with being overweight.

 

I am not trying to say that being overweight is nothing to be concerned about. But at the same time, it's not something that will automatically kill you.

It can vary from person to person.

[mem11363]

I have gone camping and get the point there. :)

 

As for the occasional physical misfire - gas - burping - bad hair - I totally ignore that in my marriage as I am imperfect myself. However there is a huge difference between the occasional "oops" moment and indifference to your raw physicality. The former is normal. And folks who are obsessively freaky about stuff like that probably don't make good partners.

 

And we can all tell the difference between an oops moment and an extended pattern of indifference.

 

My weight and my wifes weight have fluctuated by 20% since our marriage. But we both make the effort to stay within 10% of our starting point. At the moment we are. It does require effort. I perceive her making the effort as a form love - as does she.

 

As I said to the OP - some men have a wide tolerance for weight, I am not one of them however I deliberately chose a wife who I knew would make fitness a priority. And we talked about it up front.

 

 

It seems as though for vows to mean anything, they have to be seriously considered. We have gotten to a place where nothing can be counted on in any agreement between people. It is hard to know where that line between lacking fortitude and being held captive by our promises really is.

I guess I define it by looking at what is naturally expected to happen with the process of aging and being alive and what is just a sign of despondency. People will look, smell, sound and feel bad depending on many different factors that cannot always be so easily controlled or immediately remedied. While I can agree that a flatulent person might not appeal to me, I am more than able to accept that my partner might be flatulent at less than desirable moments while not being permanently flatulent for the entirety of our marriage. This applies to all manner of grooming. Just go real rugged camping for a week or two. If you can't see what I mean then I'm at a loss for explanation.

 

Even if someone were immaculately groomed until married, I'm sure there could be occasions later in life where they might not always be so even if they wanted to. If a person cannot accept that, they might not be up to anything as serious as till death do they part vows. Perhaps that is why the divorce rate keeps going up. We grow in our ability to maintain our hygiene while shrinking in our ability to tolerate anything as naturally icky as mammals are capable of being.

 

People are gross and smelly. If you can't get with that you probably shouldn't pledge your life to one.

[threebyfate]

Granted, being morbidly obese with a high level of body fat and being healthy is not possible. But you can be overweight and still be healthy.

My responses were geared towards obesity, rather than being overweight.

I never exercised a single minute for myself, out of a desire to be healthy.

 

I exercised because I needed a fit body as an athlete and then as a soldier. Staying in shape to attract women was also a concern, though only a minor one.

 

Once none of these three external factors remained, I stopped exercising, which is why I am fat now. While at least one of these factors was still there, I kept exercising.

 

I believe that people buy into the, IMO false, idea that there is a definite correlation between body type + exercise and a certain mindset. People exercise or don't exercise for various reasons.

 

Just as some people work out to stay healthy and/or thin, others can work out less, and simply stay at a higher weight (overweight) and also be healthy. I would consider someone healthy if he goes to his doc, does a check up and all important parameters are within the acceptable spectrum. If your blood pressure is okay, your organs function properly and you have normal blood values, I don't see the problem with being overweight.

 

I am not trying to say that being overweight is nothing to be concerned about. But at the same time, it's not something that will automatically kill you.

It can vary from person to person.

Stock, I don't know what you look like so I don't have anything to go by. My major concern is for obesity, which isn't healthy, no matter how you look at it.

 

But you've just reaffirmed what I said, in that if you don't do it for yourself, with health in mind, then you're not going to maintain it.

 

Whether you personally need to or not, I have no idea. But some of the women in the links, I feel should lose some weight, since they are, IMO, obese.

[Stockalone]

My responses were geared towards obesity, rather than being overweight.

 

Stock, I don't know what you look like so I don't have anything to go by. My major concern is for obesity, which isn't healthy, no matter how you look at it.

 

I already agreed with you there. Obesity isn't healthy.

 

I mentioned my situation rather to show why I disagree with you on your next point. But if you look at BMI for example, I would have been considered obese while being very fit and healthy, according to my medical tests and physical fitness tests run by the military. Granted, I was no professional athlete, but classifications like BMI don't work in all cases.

 

 

But you've just reaffirmed what I said, in that if you don't do it for yourself, with health in mind, then you're not going to maintain it.

 

That's where I disagree. In my opinion, it doesn't matter if it's intrinsic motivation (you) or extrinsic motivation (me); as long as the motivation is there the results are the same. The psychology behind it is entirely differently though, I'll give you that.

 

When my external, driving factor is no longer there, things change. Only then does your theory apply. I only stopped maintaining my weight at a healthy level after that was the case, not before.

 

 

Whether you personally need to or not, I have no idea. But some of the women in the links, I feel should lose some weight, since they are, IMO, obese.

 

I agree that some of these women should see their doctors and let them run tests to see if they really have a reason to be concerned.

 

Personally, I need to lose weight if I don't want to compromise my health, but I don't think that is important within the confines of this thread. I don't have a problem talking about it though. If you or someone else thinks it can be helpful to this thread, I can go into it further.

[Star Gazer]

This is definitely one of those "in the eye of the beholder things," and to each his own, as if I looked in the mirror and saw the women in those links, I would not be happy with myself.

[ladyblondie]

I love your attitude. I along with alot of woman wish we felt the way you did about our bodies. Keep up the positive attitude.

[D-Lish]

but classifications like BMI don't work in all cases.

 

 

I agree with you about BMI- it doesn't take into account shape or weight distibution. Two people at the same weight and height can look totally different. My best friend looks thinner than I do when she is 130 and I am 120- even though we are the same height. We just distribute our weight differently.

 

As for the women in the pictures- some are curvy, but Mia Tyler doesn't look great at the weight she's at. It could be the outfit and the way her weight is distributed.

 

I don't dispute that extra meat on the bones is an attractive type- but I doubt if you asked any women if they could trade their 200 lb frame for a 140lb frame that they would say no thank you.

 

Confidence and being happy with yourself goes a long way. I think when you are healthy, you feel better, and that reflects how others view you.

When you see someone that is a little too overweight, you develop notions about their personality- lazy, undisciplined, etc. Conversely, when you see someone too skinny you form different opinions - issue laden, insecure, etc.

 

People are going to form opinions about you before you ever say a word (it sucks- but it's reality)- and if someone is really underweight or really overweight, people will assume that you don't care about your health. To many, that will be a turn off.

 

I think curvy women look great, but I don't find obesity attractive in men or women. To me, it just says you don't care about your health.

[threebyfate]

If you think WHO's standards for BMI are stringent, refer to Singapore's standards.

 

They cut-off low risk/healthy range at 22.9. WHO cuts it off at 24.9.

[Stockalone]

As for the women in the pictures- some are curvy, but Mia Tyler doesn't look great at the weight she's at. It could be the outfit and the way her weight is distributed.

 

I think most of them still look good. It is also clear that they didn't use pictures that made the women look bad.

 

I like pretty faces and bigger boobs, so I am a bit biased. I really don't mind if the rest is bigger too. It just depends on how and where your body stores that excess weight. Some people can get away with carrying a few pounds more where others couldn't.

 

 

I don't dispute that extra meat on the bones is an attractive type- but I doubt if you asked any women if they could trade their 200 lb frame for a 140lb frame that they would say no thank you.

 

I won't dispute that. I am also not saying that people shouldn't care about their weight.

 

I just think that if we want to argue about healthy vs. unhealthy instead of thin vs. fat, we shouldn't focus so much on weight alone. We should be asking if those people actually have health issues or not.

 

 

Confidence and being happy with yourself goes a long way. I think when you are healthy, you feel better, and that reflects how others view you.

When you see someone that is a little too overweight, you develop notions about their personality- lazy, undisciplined, etc. Conversely, when you see someone too skinny you form different opinions - issue laden, insecure, etc.

 

I think that people in general put too much emphasis on confidence. But I could be wrong and it actually is that important.

 

 

People are going to form opinions about you before you ever say a word (it sucks- but it's reality)- and if someone is really underweight or really overweight, people will assume that you don't care about your health. To many, that will be a turn off.

 

People also do that with people who they consider ugly. Prejudices are very much alive. And it's also something good looking people have to deal with, although in different ways.

 

 

I think curvy women look great, but I don't find obesity attractive in men or women. To me, it just says you don't care about your health.

 

We all like what we like. I don't expect people to be attracted to fat people.

 

 

If you think WHO's standards for BMI are stringent, refer to Singapore's standards.

 

They cut-off low risk/healthy range at 22.9. WHO cuts it off at 24.9.

 

Obviously the average obese person isn't going to be an athlete or bodybuilder who carries a lot of weight without having a high percentage of body fat.

 

As I said, my BMI was around 30, and I didn't consider myself obese nor were my medical tests suggesting that I had a problem.

 

The only problem with a high weight in such a case is the tear and wear on your joints. But I ruined mine by playing sports a long time ago, so that really wasn't much of an issue.

 

I put two old pictures into an album in my account. They are not the best, but they are the only ones I got. I am 6'2 and weighed around 225 lbs in those pictures, which means a BMI of 29.

 

I was a bit soft around the middle, so I could have lost some weight. I am sure there were women who thought I was too massive or even too fat for their standards but that is not something I cared about. I certainly would have laughed at the notion that I was obese and unhealthy.

 

I am sure there were women who thought I was too massive or even too fat for their standards but that is not something I cared about.

[threebyfate]

I agree that you're not obese or fat, Stock. You look in good shape and very good-looking too!

 

Single ladies of LS, are you paying attention?

[Stockalone]

I agree that you're not obese or fat, Stock. You look in good shape and very good-looking too!

 

Single ladies of LS, are you paying attention?

 

Those are OLD pictures, you probably missed that.

 

I'd have to lose about 40 lbs and get some muscle tone back to look like that again. And I'd also have to start colouring my hair. There is already some noticeable grey in there. Not that I would actually colour my hair, .

[threebyfate]

Those are OLD pictures, you probably missed that.

 

I'd have to lose about 40 lbs and get some muscle tone back to look like that again. And I'd also have to start colouring my hair. There is already some noticeable grey in there. Not that I would actually colour my hair, .

Forget the hair dye. Grey looks good on men, IMO.

[SadandConfusedWA]

Overall, I look the most attractive when my BMI is around 23-24 (almost overweight). Any lower than that and my face looks too hollow and gaunt.

 

Lots of people would think that BMI of 23/24 is too big, especially if you consider models who are at around 18-19.

 

When I look at my old pictures when I was at around BMI 18, I looked disgusting. I am tall and curvy naturally but at low weights, my body just looks extremely bony, I have no boobs etc.

 

I would never want to be at that weight again, even if it was effortless. And I don't care if men prefer thin. I want to be happy with myself when I look in the mirror

[GrayClouds]

I have known a couple of women that, even if they only consumed 500 calories a day, would still be seen as bigger girls. They just ARE. Once you've grown to be a 6 foot or taller woman with a proportional bust and hip line, you will never be seen as thin.

 

 

6 ft 8 in:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/11/25/amazon-eve-tall-model-tow_n_371418.html

 

 

.

[sally4sara]

6 ft 8 in:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/11/25/amazon-eve-tall-model-tow_n_371418.html

 

 

.

 

That is a giant woman

 

I'm not sure what the point is tho. I'm sure there is a woman out there with a well developed third boob but I wouldn't say her existence should give other women more drive to try to grow the same. Most very tall women are not seen as thin. That woman might have been surgically enhanced even.

[jerseyboy]

Seperate issues.

 

I dont think any guy gets married thinking hsi girl is going to stay that weight. We do check out the moms to get an idea lol.

 

Honestly, for myself and other guys I know, it really doesnt matter. There are always some for whom it does, but they seem to be in the miniority. Plus it happens gradually, and you are used to her that way. If anything I think we are blind to it. I know its true of me, and I hear it from toher guys when they talk about how hot their wives are. Then you meet them and are like wtf. Maybe ten years ago, but thats how he still sees her. Its nice.

 

The rest with beauty is about proportion. Whats unattractive are pear shaped and bottom heavy woman out of proportion to the top. And if you are just orange shaped well.....Im sure there are guys who dont mind, but most of us do.

[deux ex machina]

Call me overweight call me curvy, at this point I really don't care I love my body even though I am always in battle with loosing weight and always trying to tone up and trying to improve myself a little bit at a time.... I have a stomach that I want to just go away however still does not stop me from living my life having pride in myself and knowing that I am attractive inside and out...

 

These women are curvey and beautifull and HOT so men who like extremely skinny women GOOD FOR YOU they are HOT as well however they are not the end all and be all of oooo laaa laaa...

 

That's the best attitude to have.

 

If you don't love your body at "X" weight, you won't magically learn how to do it more once you hit your goal weight of "Y", regardless of what Madison Avenue wants to tell you.

 

Confidence stays strong and builds as it is actively practiced, so practice it here and now.

 

I really love the way you show appreciation for all body types.

Edited November 28, 2009 by deux ex machina

[pricillia]

deux ex machina

 

thanks for that... It was funny looking back at pictures of myself 10 years ago I weighed alot less AND I thought that I was over weight but I was not. At this point in time I have a reality check looking at my body the way I am now and how it used to be. I am trying to control weight and loose the stomach that I would love to get rid of that I thought was there before but really wasn't...

 

I am told that I distrubute my weight pretty well although I would look better without the stomach curvey curves... I know though I have more muscle then I ever did before...however the stomach is the last to go

 

I realize now that I am still sexy and attractive even though not ideal. It is just the quest to be perfect when you think your not, but your really attractive. I would get attention all the time when I was thinner and I still do, however I got too much attention which made me want to run and hide...

 

Now I am trying to work with where I am at at improve a little bit at a time, and enjoying the way there.

 

I still think that attraction is more than physical, don't get me wrong I like what I like however getting to know someone and what they are all about either builds up your attraction or deminishes it.

Edited November 28, 2009 by pricillia

[calizaggy]

Sorry, you cannot change what men like..it would be like me posting photos of midget male models, then insinuating women who insist on tall men are very shallow. Some men settle for overweight women, but those who can usually choose the slender curvy variety.

[SadandConfusedWA]

Also, it is not true that you have to gain huge amount of weight as you get older. My mum is in her 50's and is only 8lbs heavier than when she was 20 (after 2 pregnancies too) and still looks hot in a bikini

[NowhereToHide]

I agree with you about BMI- it doesn't take into account shape or weight distibution. Two people at the same weight and height can look totally different. My best friend looks thinner than I do when she is 130 and I am 120- even though we are the same height. We just distribute our weight differently.

 

As for the women in the pictures- some are curvy, but Mia Tyler doesn't look great at the weight she's at. It could be the outfit and the way her weight is distributed.

 

I don't dispute that extra meat on the bones is an attractive type- but I doubt if you asked any women if they could trade their 200 lb frame for a 140lb frame that they would say no thank you.

 

Confidence and being happy with yourself goes a long way. I think when you are healthy, you feel better, and that reflects how others view you.

When you see someone that is a little too overweight, you develop notions about their personality- lazy, undisciplined, etc. Conversely, when you see someone too skinny you form different opinions - issue laden, insecure, etc.

 

People are going to form opinions about you before you ever say a word (it sucks- but it's reality)- and if someone is really underweight or really overweight, people will assume that you don't care about your health. To many, that will be a turn off.

 

I think curvy women look great, but I don't find obesity attractive in men or women. To me, it just says you don't care about your health.

 

I completely agree with this. I actually weigh less now at 40 than I did at 20 and my body looks nothing like it used to. My 40 year old body, after two kids, holds more in the hips for sure. Nothing is quite as tight as it used to be, too. But, my H doesn't care and my own self-confidence can go a long way towards not buying into the size 00 mentality that we women are told we need to buy into.

[Arabella]

I didn't use to be plus size but I am now due to a long-lasting thyroid disorder that took some time to get under control.

 

Frankly, attractiveness is in self-confidence. The real kind that only comes from accepting oneself. I am lucky that my weight is distributed proportionately and nothing looks terribly "off". I feel pretty comfortable in my skin right now, although I'm still losing weight for the sake of my health.

 

However, I haven't had an issue getting interest from athletic guys who could otherwise attract much more beautiful women than I, even though I was already committed. That's because I'm an interesting person, I have a lot to offer, and I know it. If they don't like the way I look, it's their loss.

 

Love yourself, and the rest will follow...

 

Arabella

[Devil Inside]

I love curvy women. Many of the women in those links are beautiful to me. Like many have said here...so much of it is about the attitude and confidence.

 

As for BMI..it is an outdated and inefficient means of measuring health. As a man that carries more then the average amount of muscle I can tell you my BMI is always in the overweight to obese category, even at times when my bodyfat is lower then most.

 

For all you women with curves out there...you rock it ladies...DI has love for you.

[tommyr]

Call me overweight call me curvy, at this point I really don't care I love my body even though I am always in battle with loosing weight and always trying to tone up and trying to improve myself a little bit at a time.... I have a stomach that I want to just go away however still does not stop me from living my life having pride in myself and knowing that I am attractive inside and out...

 

These women are curvey and beautifull and HOT so men who like extremely skinny women GOOD FOR YOU they are HOT as well however they are not the end all and be all of oooo laaa laaa....

 

Glad to hear you are confident within your body. Not sure what your point is however in addressing men (like myself) who prefer fit women.

 

One could even suggest that the inability to accept fluctuation and change in physical appearance over time, isn't the marrying kind at all. Vows cannot dependably be made by people who cannot accept change. No matter what body types they prefer at the start........

 

I hope you made these beliefs clear to your partner up front.

Because it sounds like you feel that marriage vows are a license to change and your partner must happily go along with it. I would like to challenge your statement: Vows cannot dependably be made by people who cannot accept change. Please tell me if you agree that the following list of desirable attributes in a partner are granted similar liberty to abandon all effort once the vows are completed:

 

Personal hygiene

Ambition

Religious practice

Work ethic

Pleasant conversation

Nice attire

Self confidence

Moderation

Politeness

Family values

Cleanliness

 

Do you honestly feel that a spouse is justified in portraying effort in all of these desirable areas before marriage, but then is entitled to just do a 180 degree turn after the wedding? And their partner should accept this change?

 

Getting back to the women with curves topic, how is it any different if a lady works hard to remain thin before marriage, then gains 50 pounds? Granted some men would not notice or care, but many (dare I say most) men would certainly notice and would not be happy about it. Would it be fair if I got back from the honeymoon and shaved my head, pierced my nose, and tatooed my entire body? Not saying that is a bad look - hey some chicks go for that - but if my wife chose me because she prefers a well-dressed professional gentleman, do her vows mean she now must be attracted to the punk-rock version of me?

 

I guess I believe it is important to maintain the desirable attributes that I brought into my marriage. And weight is no exception.

[sally4sara]

I hope you made these beliefs clear to your partner up front.

Because it sounds like you feel that marriage vows are a license to change and your partner must happily go along with it. I would like to challenge your statement: Vows cannot dependably be made by people who cannot accept change. Please tell me if you agree that the following list of desirable attributes in a partner are granted similar liberty to abandon all effort once the vows are completed:

 

Personal hygiene

Ambition

Religious practice

Work ethic

Pleasant conversation

Nice attire

Self confidence

Moderation

Politeness

Family values

Cleanliness

 

 

This only applies to folk who put effort into their action ONLY TO CATCH A MATE rather than put the effort in FOR THEMSELVES. Who I am, who my partner is was genuine and not an act. And as for the ability to accept change? He LOOKS more different from himself at our beginning than I do though we still look very much the same. I accept him because who he is, is who I love and not just who he looks like.

Anyone who cannot do this probably shouldn't get married. Appearances change no matter haw diligent we try to be. New knowledge changes our views. Finding god, loosing faith, chemical depression, phases your children go through that you find annoying, the latest fashions looking odd and achieving your goals causing you to not be so much a go getter as before........all these things are normal parts of life. Expect them or step away from the alter and life long vows.