skids Posted December 15, 2003 Share Posted December 15, 2003 Why does it hurt to say goodbye? Is it the fact that you will probley will never see that person again? Why does it have to hurt so bad? Link to post Share on other sites
SoleMate Posted December 15, 2003 Share Posted December 15, 2003 Loss of love, of the familiarity and the pleasure and the nurturing and excitement. It's the adult version of the howl of the abandoned infant. Then there's the embarassment, awkwardness, feeling foolish or unloveable...your head can create so many scary stories about how you will ALWAYS be alone, with cruel bystanders snickering over your public rejection. How specifically can we help you cope? Link to post Share on other sites
Arabess Posted December 15, 2003 Share Posted December 15, 2003 Originally posted by SoleMate It's the adult version of the howl of the abandoned infant. What a good analogy Sole.....I'll remember that one for sure!!! Skids, I don't know your whole story....nor do the specifics matter at this point. The point is you are in pain and it's a horrible thing to have to deal with. It's like having a bad flu with your whole body aching! There is no cure for it, no escaping it and no way to shorten the amount of time you have to deal with it. All I can assure you is....it DOES get better!! When a person leaves your life...it seems as though they are irreplaceable. There is this big empty void in your life. It's that void you have to address first. Make yourself do some new things, go out with friends, take on an additional job, paint your house.....just FIND SOMETHING(s) which force your mind to focus on something else besides the person who is no longer in your life. At first it'll go slow and you'll wonder if things will ever FEEL better. In time though, and a shorter amount of time than you are thinking it will take, you will still remember them....but not with that sharp pain in your heart. Please post how you are doing. And as Sole said....let us know what we can do to help you cope. Arabess Link to post Share on other sites
flyswatter04 Posted December 15, 2003 Share Posted December 15, 2003 Well let me tell the story. It all started about six months ago. I found out that my family was not my real family, even though it was just me and my mom. I was adopted. I felt a little weird about being adopted, but what hurt the worse was my adopted mom and myself got into a big fight and she told me the whole story of me being adopted. Then she told me to" get out and never come back. I hate you I have no clue what cursed me to get you." So I left and went to my friends house for the night. The next day my adopted mom got into wreck and got killed. After that I went out for a while and tried to find my REAL parents, eventually I did find them in a place called "ST. Paul's Cemetery" MY mom died givig birth, and my died of a heartattack a few weeks later. I just got out of high school and all (expect one) of my friends left and went to college. Now, I am in college, but its like 20 miles away from my house. My girlfriend, who I dated for about a year, broke up with me like a day or two befere this all happened. Found out she was cheating on me for a long time. All of this seems kinda unreal, but its true. All It seems I have left is my friend im living with. Now dont worry im not going on drugs or kill my self or any thing like that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author skids Posted December 15, 2003 Author Share Posted December 15, 2003 i know the last post says fluswatter but it ment to say skids, my friend did not log off when he got done. sorry about that. Link to post Share on other sites
Arabess Posted December 15, 2003 Share Posted December 15, 2003 Geez Fly....you certainly HAVE had to face a whole lot of great losses in your life thus far. It difficult to imagine ANYONE having to deal with their whole life turning upside down in such a short period of time. I really admire you for facing the world with so much sorrow in your heart. I don't think anyone on here would be able to say enough adequate words to help you find joy again. Since you are a in college, I don't know if you are in the finacial position of getting a therapist or something. I'm not indicating you are messed up, quite the opposite, but I would think you need someone to talk to in order not to harbor the guilt and loss for years to come. It's a shame your last conversation with your adopted mom was harsh words. I have a teenager....trust me....words are often exchanged which aren't meant. In the heat of anger.....many times parents say totally stupid crap just to get their kid's attention. If she hadn't been a good mother to you and loved you.....you wouldn't be such a stable adult now. I guess throwing yourself into schoolwork, planning what you want from your life, meeting new people, appreciating the friends you currently have....is what will keep you going thru all the bad memories. Your friend, Arabess Link to post Share on other sites
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