My ex's girlfriend is trying to sabotage our little friendship that we have left!!

[scubaskunk]

Alright, here's my story

 

I met this guy when I was in middle school, i am a year older than him. When he got to high school we starting going out. Throughout our two year, on again, off again relationship, we both cheated on eachother. Rumors were spread about him to make me think twice about him and likewise for me. So many people tried to break us up because we are attractive people and they didn't like seeing us together. We worked through it though and ended up together. Nine months ago I moved to a different country because my dad took up another job. I thought i was only going to be here for 6 months but that was almost 10 months ago. When i found out i was going to be here longer than 6 months, i went to go visit him that summer. When i got back, the relationship started going downhill. For a while our relationship was going nowhere, it was the same old stuff. Then, on Sept 12. he broke it off with me. I was totally heartbroken but accepted his wishes. He told me that he had feeling for one of my best friends sarah* so i figured that was the reason he broke it off.

 

During our breakup, I realized how much he really meant to me, and i didn't care the we weren't together, i just wanted him in my life and i was set on making that happen. Sarah and josh were pretty good friends and this point. They had feelings for eachother and this wasn't known to me until wayyyyyy later. So while me and my ex were broken up, i would talk to sarah* often. She told me that maybe i should just stop talking to my ex and maybe he would miss me. I wrote him a letter about 3 wks after we broke up and got nothing back. I asked her what he though and she told me that it seemed like he didn't care. Beucase she was one of my good friends, i believed everything she said and thought she was doing this for me.

 

One month after my breakup with my ex, i find out that Sarah* and my ex are dating. One of my supposed "best Friends." I was crushed. People would email and tell me that they cuddle and kiss in the halls. I was torn apart. I did call you a few times after i had heard that but we never brought my ex up. 3 months after my breakup, out of the blue, my ex calls, he tells me that he misses me and the he just wants to talk. I was soooooo happy. He told me that him and *sarah are doing horrible and he doesn't like her. So I was thinking to myself, the he got a chance to date others and realised how great i was and wanted me back. We talked twice after that and things were great. That's until my ex and SArah* started going back out....

Then sarah* writes me and is like, why don't you ever call me, and is like, omg, josh this josh that, we have so much fun together, homecoming was so great,just tyingto make me mad.. Then one day she wrote me about him so i wrote her back and told her how i felt. I told her how i felt like she was a backstabber and that out of respect, she shouldn't have started dating my ex. and told her that i know she only talks abouthim to piss me off. She then went on to tell me that she only tells me when i ask about things and thinks that we shouldn't be friends anymore. so i was like ok, fine. My ex told me recently that she took down all our pictures that he had up of us and the she asked him if he wouldn't call me anymore bc it worries her that he might still love me. Is that even right of her or is she just trying to break up us, even more than we already are.??

 

He still tells me he loves me and that he can't wait until i go back to the states so we can be together again, and even though i hate sarah* now, i feel bad that he's tellin me this stuff and he's with someone else. I know that he wouldn't be using me physically, but maybe he called that one day so that he can keep the bond between us tight so that when i go back, he will feel that even if he messes up in his other relationships he can always be with me. He tells me that that's not the case, but im sick of argueing with this sarah* girl over him and am thinkin maybe it would just be a good idea to not talk to him until i go back to the states, which is like 8 more months. I care about him a lot, and he is my best friend still but i don't want to me in the middle of him and sarah's relationship when i don't even live in the same country, it just isn't worth it. what should i do from this point on.??

 

Thanks for reading everything, i appreciate it!!!

[dlb311]

What a so called best friend. When I was in high school my ex and I broke up after we graduated because we where growing up and moving on with our lives. I came to find out a few months after we broke up that he was with my best friend. During the past year we had grown apart but I still turned to her. I was so hurt. They are still together to this day.

 

My advice is to not call him or write him. He if calls you or writes you be nice but don't let him know you still want him when you come back. 8 months is a long time and it can change everything. You might find someone else or learn that he isn't worth it. I know when you love someone its hard and every story has a different ending. But remember what you deserve and what you are worth. You said you are a good looking person if so then you know you have endless possibilities to get to know greater people. You are still young and have a lot of time to meet people. I think you should never talk to Sarah again. Some friends are worth it and aren't meant to be in your life forever.

 

I would let him miss you. He will or he wouldn't be calling you saying he can't wait till you get back some where he has feelings for you. He is a guy and you are not there so he is out there living his life you do the same or you will regret it. You have time now to enjoy being single and so do your own thing when you get back then I would see where things go but for now worrying about and wondering what might be or what might have been is to much stress. Just let life be and remember everything happens for a reason its all about lessons to be learned.

 

Good luck and remember you are a beautiful person. anyone would be lucky to have in their life as a friend or lover.

[BettyBoo]

Forget about him for now. Easier said than done but as you are in a different country why are you not enjoying where you are right now? WHy not date some boys there ? Get to know the culture, history, ENJOY. You may not have this oppportunity again. Life is TOOOOOOOOOOO short to be wasting time on missing what is not yours. When you get back to the States deal with him and Sarah then. I guarantee that if you focus your mind and heart on the here and now. Neither of them will hold much interest to you when you get back. Life moves on and so should you. GOOD LUCK>

[scubaskunk]

Okay, so you are saying just forget about him totally or what??? Becuase I mean, he was in my life for nearly three years, I can't just act like I don't even know him. Or should I just stop talking to him becuase we might start going into old habits and arguements.

 

Also, i was talking to a friend today. Remember when i said that Sarah* told my ex that she would appreciate it if we didn't talk anymore, my friend said that would be a smart thing to do and is respectful to her. My friend also said that men are realists and won't see it the same way i do....

 

Help!!!!!