LDR questions, troubles, stress.... !!

[jbarsk82001]

Hi all-

 

Well I've been doing a whole lot of reading and searching and have not come up with many answers. I would greatly appreciate any feedback that you all could give me. Thanks in advance!

 

I met this amazing woman about 7 months ago in alcoholics anonymous of all places. Anyways we hit it off right off the bat with very intense feelings and fell in love very quick. She was still married but seperated for 4 years and going through a divorce. Well after that 3 or 4 weeks of courtship she went back to california where she is from. We decided to proceed with our relationship and see where it went. She has a 7 year old child as well. We continued to talk on a daily basis, never missing a day for this whole time, usually spending hours a day talking to eachother. She is a spiritual woman and I am a spiritual man and both of us have been sober for awhile now. Over a year for her and almost a year for me.

 

We have not seen eachother for 6 months, we've only seen eachother in person for the first couple weeks of knowing eachother. We have been faithful to eachother, I trust this woman with all my heart. I've gotten to know her family as well as her son over the phone. Her divorce courtdate, where it should be totally finalized is coming up in 3 weeks, on December 10th.

 

Within the past 2 or 3 weeks she has said that she is unsure and stressed about our relationship and she doesn't know how she feels about me. Okay.....well then she'll tell me she needs some space and that she doesn't think we should talk as much but then within a couple hours she'll be calling me, almost as if nothing ever happened. For the past couple of weeks it has been an ebb and flo like that. She'll tell me she's stressed about us and unsure of how she feels about me, that her feelings are changing, and then that night she'll be telling me she loves me and will mention kids or marriage.

 

In my opinion, she is very confused. She is going through some very intense lifechanging decions.....divorce, child custody, financial settlements, and a relationship and life with me. I have been giving her all the space in the world for the past couple of weeks. I haven't really been calling her, I have put the ball in her court so that she didn't feel "pressured" to make a decision. It is so tough for me because I care about her so much so when she says she's unsure it gives me anxious feelings about what will happen. Then that night it's like nothing did happen and for days it's back to "normal". We really have a great relationship, understanding and very supportive and loving. I feel that she is so unsure and scared with everything that is culminating in her life right now. It is to the point that I dont believe what she is telling me. I know she loves me. I told her that we'll be seeing eachother soon and she told me that she does not want to see me. Yet at the same time, she say's that i'm her best friend. Okay....so you dont wanna see your bestfriend? The only person I wouldn't wanna see is someone that I dont like. What is going on???? She admitted that she doesn't wanna see me because she's scared of how she will feel, because she knows that it will be great. HELP PLEASE!!!! ahhhhhhhhh i love this woman so much and I know she feels the same. Do I just continue to support her through these tough times and let her go through these ebb's and flo's? What do I do??? Any help or advice is greatly appreciated!!

[foxyroxy_msu83]

i think the most important thing i can say to you is to be very very supportive of her no matter what happens. i dont think from how you describe her actions that she is acting that she does not love you. i think she is just confused with so much going on in life and feels she doesnt need to add to the stress she already has. and i say this because she seems to not be able to make up her mind, like her heart is telling her one thing (to love you) and her mind is telling her she doesnt need the confusion right now. LDRs are difficult to maintain and make meaningful and fulfilling but they are not unheard of. i have my share of current relationship issues but i am married to a man whom i was in a LDR with for a year and despite my own insecurities in our relationship we are doing great. i wish you luck and let me know of anything else i may be able to help you with.