Princess1985 Posted November 28, 2009 Share Posted November 28, 2009 I have a crazy situation and I would appreciate some help from Everyone. Im 24 years old and I live with my parents. I have a brother name Eric who was married, and got divorced. He has a son and a daughter. Eric is in the Army, so his kids stay with my parents 3 days a week. My 29 year old brother named Tony also lives with my parents. SO we all live in the same house. A few years ago, I caught Tony late at night alone with my neice at about 2 in the morning with my Baby niece (still in diapers) alone in a dark room under a blanket in his boxers. The baby was naked in her diaper. When I saw him I immediately got a vibe that he was molesting her. So I told him to give me the baby and he did. Then as I walked away I realized she had no clothes on, so I went back, and said where are her clothes,..and he went under his pillow and pulled it out. (as if he placed it there). I told EVERYONE what happend, and no one Believes me except for my friends. My friends just tell me that I should just stay alert and make sure nothing happens to the kids, but they dont understand its so stressful for me. Sometimes I feel like a crazy person trying to make sure nothing happns to the kids. Recently about a month ago, He tried to sleep alone with my nephew. It made absolutly no sense why he couldnt just give my baby nephew to my mother. Why would a grown man want to sleep with his nephew (who is physically challenged). I took the baby, and then he made a Huge deal out of it and woke up my mom and dad. He said he didnt give the baby to my mom beause he didnt want to wake her up, BUT he decided to wake her up when I took the baby from him. Once my parents was there, he punched me in the face, and then my dad stopped him and punched him in the face back. ...To my surprise, my mom called me a liar, and said I was making up stories. My dad later told me that he believes me,...but he isnt doing anything about it. Sometimes I think he just says he belives me to shut me up. ...I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO!!! Im going crazy! I guess the advice you all can give me is call the cops right? But that will do Nothing. Tony knows that the secret is out, so he constantly buys the kids gifts so they will like him, and tomorrow he just said he is taking them to the park to go play with his girlfriends kids. ALSO, a few months ago he got in a argument with Eric, and wrote a e-mail to him saying that he is a B**** and he secretly wants to kill him. What do you all think about all this? Link to post Share on other sites
Ronni_W Posted November 28, 2009 Share Posted November 28, 2009 Hi Princess. I am sorry that you're stuck in this awful position. You already know. If their mother is not available for you to let her know of the crazy situation, or if she can't or won't protect her own kids, then you do need to call child protection services / children's aid. As much as you would like to, you cannot 100% protect these kids from that brother, and they do need 24/7 protection from him. You already know that he needs psychological help. Right now, it is inaccurate to believe that "nothing will happen" once you go to the proper authorities. You do not know that for sure, and won't know until after you've contacted them. In any case, if you don't at least try to protect your niece and nephew, that self-knowledge can/will haunt you in your future. To do what needs to be done here will take an inordinate amount of courage on your part, and there could be a very high price to pay, in terms of family relationships. But you will have the inner peace of knowing that you did everything within your own power to save two innocent children from god knows what. And when you have to face your Self, that will count for a LOT. The kids' father also need to be made aware, of course. It sounds as if he is unavailable to come home immediately, like TODAY, to take care of his children. If their mom is also not around, then that does leave you; it does mean that you are the only hope these two kids have to be removed from a sexually abusive situation. It will escalate and it will continue. It's a horrible and difficult job. I do wish you and the kids a very positive outcome, and am sending truckloads of courage and determination your way. Hugs. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Princess1985 Posted November 28, 2009 Author Share Posted November 28, 2009 ThankYou Ronni for your reply. My brother is separating from the Army December 20th, so he will be here within a few weeks. I told him everything, and at first he didnt know what to think, but then he really started to listen to me only when Tony wrote him a E-mail saying he is a B**** and he secretly wants to kill him, and a whole lot of other crazy things he wrote. Eric believes me now, but he doesnt know what to do either, Im thinking because he is our brother. I know he wants to hurt him, but I feel he is trying his best to hold back and keep as much peace as possible until he catches him himself. I tell Eric and my Dad everything that I notice, and that happens, but it seems like everyone is scared or nervous to do anything about it. All I know is "Something" is going to end up happening. I'm just not sure what, or even when it will happen. Link to post Share on other sites
You'reasian Posted November 29, 2009 Share Posted November 29, 2009 (edited) ThankYou Ronni for your reply. My brother is separating from the Army December 20th, so he will be here within a few weeks. I told him everything, and at first he didnt know what to think, but then he really started to listen to me only when Tony wrote him a E-mail saying he is a B**** and he secretly wants to kill him, and a whole lot of other crazy things he wrote. Eric believes me now, but he doesnt know what to do either, Im thinking because he is our brother. I know he wants to hurt him, but I feel he is trying his best to hold back and keep as much peace as possible until he catches him himself. I tell Eric and my Dad everything that I notice, and that happens, but it seems like everyone is scared or nervous to do anything about it. All I know is "Something" is going to end up happening. I'm just not sure what, or even when it will happen. Should definitely bring concern to local law enforcement. Question: why not inform law enforcement first, especially considering what you are alluding to? Edited November 29, 2009 by You'reasian Link to post Share on other sites
Author Princess1985 Posted November 29, 2009 Author Share Posted November 29, 2009 I know,..but its not as easy as your saying. I know for a fact cops wont do anything except refer me to someone to call. They cant arrest him unless there is evidence. I just have to wait until eric gets back. I hope someone besides me notices Something. Link to post Share on other sites
Ronni_W Posted November 29, 2009 Share Posted November 29, 2009 Princess, Are there any agencies (NOT the police) who are responsible for child welfare and safety? Like "children's aid"? They will give proper priority to ensuring that your niece and nephew are safe and protected; they would normally take your allegations seriously and start an investigation. Eventually, yes, your brother (the one who is molesting kids) could face criminal charges...but you don't have to focus on that first. That is, forget contacting the police (for now.) Children's Aid will do that part of things when they have enough evidence...and the cops WILL take them seriously -- you don't have to be concerned about that part, I mean. Or. You could even call a women's crisis hotline (anonymously, from the mall or something, if that'd feel safer for you) and just see if they can give you some guidance or direction. It's really just about getting the kids out of the situation. Removing your brother may be more difficult, as you say, so don't worry about that part. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
SincereOnlineGuy Posted November 29, 2009 Share Posted November 29, 2009 Hello, This is far more easy than you can see. The names of your brothers do not matter to this story as told at LS. The only thing that matters is you, calling C.P.S. (or the equivalent) immediately and reporting all that you have witnessed personally. Give them complete detail now, so in the future when the woman down the street sees one of your brothers 'doing' a boy or a girl of 10 years of age or less, your report will be there to corroborate your brother's pattern of abuse. You should have had this response reflexively, long before now. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Princess1985 Posted November 29, 2009 Author Share Posted November 29, 2009 Thanks Ronni, and SencereOnlineGuy,... Im going to look up children's aid and see about CPS, and see what they can do. I'll tell my brother eric too. Link to post Share on other sites
Eve Posted December 1, 2009 Share Posted December 1, 2009 I wouldnt tell Eric a thing. It could compromise any investigation. Take care, Eve xx Link to post Share on other sites
doushenka Posted December 2, 2009 Share Posted December 2, 2009 Tony wrote him a E-mail saying he is a B**** and he secretly wants to kill him, and a whole lot of other crazy things he wrote. Have you got a copy of this email somewhere? Can you get one? If he's threatening your brother and trying to molest your kids, there's something wrong in his head. Maybe you can get him committed on that evidence. Link to post Share on other sites
kampfy chair Posted December 2, 2009 Share Posted December 2, 2009 Wow, this is terrible. I really feel for you. I went through something similar when I found out that my best friend's fiance was abusing her. Her family knew something was up, but they were all too afraid to do anything about it, and in the end there wasn't much I could do either. But at least my friend was an adult with the ability to make her own choices, not a defenseless child. I think you definitely need to contact CPS like everyone else has suggested. And definitely call the police if your brother gets violent again. I assume they weren't called when he punched you? If you can establish a pattern of violent behavior, the police will be much more likely to do something about the situation. But those kids definitely need to get out of the house ASAP. Even if you do everything you can to keep an eye on him, he'll find a way to get them alone if they're under the same roof with him. Hopefully their Dad will take some serious action when he gets home, it really should be his responsibility. Well good luck, and maybe consider seeking some counseling for yourself and your family if they will cooperate. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Princess1985 Posted December 2, 2009 Author Share Posted December 2, 2009 Hey Douchenka and Kampfy Chair, I did save the e-mail in my hotmail account. ..and No the police was not called when he punched me, but I realize that I should have called them. If he hits me again, I will definantly call them. I will use the crazy e-mail he wrote as some evidence in the future if something else happens. Thanks everyone. Link to post Share on other sites
2sure Posted December 2, 2009 Share Posted December 2, 2009 Why has no one thought to inform the MOTHER of the children? She lives locally and is the custodial parent. Your parents watch the kids for her 3 days a week. They are baby sitting? The mother, the person who is raising and taking care of these children should be the first to know! She may decide simply to find another baby sitter. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Princess1985 Posted December 3, 2009 Author Share Posted December 3, 2009 (edited) The MOTHER makes porno movies.. She has Lots of movies out. ...so thats what she's all about. The mother was told about what happend, and she didnt believe it. OR maby she didnt want to believe it, because then she will have to pay for babysitting. (making porno movies does not pay as much as some may think) My family and I actually dont really get along with the Mother. My brother Eric divorced her. My brother Eric is trying to get custody of the kids, but its not a easy process. The Mother lets the kids stay with us 3 days a week while she does "whatever". ...For her its free babysitting. ...BUT AGAIN,, Thank You all for your in put on this crazy situation. I appreciate it a lot. Edited December 3, 2009 by Princess1985 Link to post Share on other sites
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