Second chance for bold-faced liar? (bit long)

[aka-zero]

Hello everyone,

 

Here is my story: I’ve been divorced for 3 years after a 15-year marriage. I get along well with my ex in raising our 12-year-old girl. And my ex now has a new boyfriend whom she loves dearly. I’m very happy for her and we have never had any intimate contact since the day we decided to divorce.

 

Until very recently, I was seeing another woman, who is in the midst of a long, bitter divorce, for a year and a half. She’s got two kids. Due to her difficult situation and the fact that it was hard to move forward with a woman whose divorce was not yet finished (for cultural reasons on her side), there was some dissatisfaction on my side.

 

Now, this woman has lied to me, and a bold-faced lie at that. She broke up with me in early November. I pleaded with her for another try, but she said no. Five days afterwards, my ex-wife received an anonymous letter, meanly criticizing her and suggesting that her new boyfriend was unfaithful to her. Though the letter was computer printed, the envelope was hand written (go figure!!) and I immediately recognized the handwriting as that of my ex-girlfriend. Comparison with other written documents only confirmed the fact.

 

To cut a long story short, when confronted with this information face-to-face, my ex-girlfriend flatly denied having anything to do with this letter. Yet she claimed that she wanted to give our relationship another shot. I told her I would be unable to do so unless she owned up to the anonymous letter. She repeatedly denied it on 3 different face-to-face occasions. Having my doubts, I sent the document to a handwriting analyst, who confirmed that the document was written by my ex-girlfriend. When I told her about this analysis, she finally owned up to it.

 

She basically lied to my face and then when presented with undeniable proof of her act, she confessed. She claims she does not know why she did it, but that it was a sort of ‘crime of passion’ and that she wanted to hurt me. This type of behavior from her is simply unbelievable, far out-of-character.

 

Problem is, I still have very strong feelings for her, because I know she has some qualities. And she is trying to get back together with me, claiming she will apologize to everyone hurt by this act, and that we will finally be able to move forward in our relationship.

 

If you’ve read this far, you may be thinking “Why would you want to stay with someone like that?” and to tell the truth, I’m not really sure. I do know that everyone makes mistakes, and I would like to think that it’s possible to move beyond them. Granted, there were already other issues in the relationship causing some friction, and this event was sort of the “straw that broke the camel’s back”.

 

So the question is: give her another chance or not? I’d like to hear your ideas and can provide more info if necessary.

 

aka-zero