feeling stuck

[sungrl]

i am in my mid 20's and feel almost stuck. I still live at home to save money. I definitely wouldn't say i am well off like how some people get cars or vacations for graduating college. I guess i am middle class like most. But living at home is sometimes stressful..i like quiet and parents can get loud at times and i just feel closed in bc its an apartment. I can be in the living room just trying to relax on the couch watching tv Saturday morning and then my parents will come in and its loud with them just talking that i wouldn't be able to hear anything so that forces me to go to another room. Its just little things like that get to me more than ever now and sometimes i feel like i am being a complainer b/c situations can be a lot worse and then i feel guilty by being snippy or having an attitude later on

 

I also donot feel independent. My good friend moved into a bigger apartment with her bf b/c and she offered me the 2nd bedroom for a very good price b/c she knows I would just want a place to be away for one or two nights a week. I actually see my parents(especially my mom) maybe not dealing well with me moving out completely and also it would be more money if i did. Also my father took out a student loan when i was in school for me which i help out here and there with and suddenly my mother mentions me giving him $500 a month for this..which pretty much means no money for an apartment if i did this leaving me stuck. I am debating just to save and save and maybe also hand him my bonus as a way to start with giving him money and maybe at the end of the year take my friend's offer and atleast stay there one or two times a week..but then its sort of back and forth with my clothes and things i need etc.

 

Also, i just feel so different from my other friends. I never got my license..at 17 or something my father said his insurance would go up..also i wouldn't even have a car to drive and nowhere to park. When i was in college and working I didn't need one which is fine..but now i feel like that's even less independent b/c i dont have a car yet or my license..like my friend on the weekend will drive to costco to get things for the week..and sometimes i wish i can just do things like that where its a little more independent if i am making sense...my parents go every 2 weeks together to get things. My mom also cooks dinner for my dad(she doesn't work full time) so while she is doing that she might as well heat some things up for herself and me. I get home sometimes late for work..if i was living by myself i probably wouldn't make myself dinner each night that's for sure. A lot of my friends dont cook as well with their situation but like my one friend..her mother owns an apartment building with about 5 tenants...so she was able to live upstairs and just go downstairs for dinner...she does pay rent and has a high paying job helping her mother..but she just sort of has that independence of space and also just being able to go down to her mother's when she wants. It would be nice to save to actually buy something but i can't live with my parents forever to do that or rely on being married and doing that with a partner.

 

Maybe i would be fine if the apartment was bigger or something but i guess i feel sort of stuck like i should be living with a b/f by now or doing other things and its just different living at home and sort of holds you back and makes you feel like you are still 18 especially when your mother still complains about the room you are sleeping in being messy or when you walk out the door asking where am i going and with who. It seems normal b/c i am there so of course she is going to ask but its like i don't want to explain myself but would rather just say ok talk to you later and walk out the door. But maybe i am complaining waayyy too much.

Edited November 28, 2009 by sungrl