sophia10 Posted November 28, 2009 Share Posted November 28, 2009 My best guy friend and i used to go out all the time to clubs. I havent gone in about 8 months with him because I was saving money for a trip.We started not to hang out as much. I told him that I miss going out with him and that it was alot of fun. He said it was but that he is liking going out with his new guy friends. I totally understand that. but then he said... He got tired of people thinking we were a couple and that I was his girlfriend. That he misses his gf ( long distance) and then everyone thinks Im his gf.He also feels that he going out with guy instead of just me is less pressure. That I wanted all his attetion. Not totaly true.... I just didnt want to be left alone for very long but we learned how to go out yet be on our own the last few months we went out.He said the I am a beautiful woman and why wouldnt people think we were together .... then why does it bother him?? I took it personally... how could I not? He said its not about me. that he isnt embarassed of me. That its better if we do other things not go to clubs together one on one. then he started saying something about alcohol makes him do things he shouldnt and that we just needed some boundries. I have always had boundries up with him!! he is the one that would do things that were questionable to me. But nothing ever happened with us. Am I being to sensitive??? i can;t get it out of my head that he is embarassed. anybody have any words of wisdom to help me feel better?? Link to post Share on other sites
Island Girl Posted November 28, 2009 Share Posted November 28, 2009 Multiple threads all with mixed messages. You like him you want to date him. You are not approaching this or anything else he does as a friend would see it. Your perspective is skewed because you want TO DATE HIM as you have posted elsewhere. Get real with you, your wants, etc. And start approaching things in your life with honesty (even if it is only yourself you are honest with). Your actions with others will then be honest at least. And that will eventually give you what you WANT in your life. As to this guy - well, you want him and it doesn't sound like he is the same. Quit the stupid facade about "we are the best of friends" when really you are all twitterpated about him. It is best if you don't keep reinforcing the whole friend thing because it is a lie. Don't hang out all the time and pretend to be friends (and okay with it) with guys you want to date. It is a recipe for heartbreak. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sophia10 Posted November 28, 2009 Author Share Posted November 28, 2009 your right I need to be honest with myself... so here it is. I want him sometime and other times my brain says no its not right. He is alot of what I want in a guy but the few things I dont want are big ones... like age and occupation. He does things that are very mixed also all my friends see it. Sometimes I let myheart take over . Its good that we had this conversatiion last night because we were getting into talking about things that we shouldnt. ( his doing) and it got me going bad!!! I would have been fine in our friendship if he hadent done all the things that he has done.I have never ever crossed my boundries. I never rubbed my boobs on him. He rubbed his chest on me. It brought me back to reality. I dont want to seduce him. I value him in my life too much to lose it and IF he did ever want to be with me... It would never work for many reason. I need to keep reminding myself of those reason. I had been in good place in this friendship for about 9 months and about a month ago he wrote me an text in the middle of the night saying that ... he is thankful to have me in his life and tha He strongly feels good has amazing plans for us. It really started to confuse me again. I decided to pull away... I need to. Link to post Share on other sites
Devil Inside Posted November 28, 2009 Share Posted November 28, 2009 It also seems from the OP that he may have some feelings of attraction towards you. He is saying that he needs boundaries so that when he is drinking he doesn't do something...well...hello...seems he might be attracted to you. I also wonder of some of this is not his GF talking. Maybe she has a problem with others thinking you two are together. Either way...what he is asking for seems appropriate for friends of an opposite sex that are attracted to each other. Link to post Share on other sites
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