BettyBoo Posted December 15, 2003 Share Posted December 15, 2003 [font=courier new][/font][color=darkblue][/color] Hi, I would like some help from all of you out there who may have found yourself in a similar position. I have been going out with my man for a year and the realtioship has been fantastic. We both were married before and I am divorced and he is going through his currently. I felt I knew most of the important things about him until he told me he had an affair for two years at the end of his marraige (his marriage was really over years befor but they stayed together for the children). The woman he had an affair with was engaged at the time! The woman turned out to be our dance teacher!! She tached the class with her husband who has no idea of the following details. When I joined the dance class ,at his request ,I felt there was something strange about her behaviour. She always behaved in a rather bithcy way towards me. I felt he acted strange too and asked him about it. He acted slightly strained and was less affectionate towards me at the class. He apologised and said he did not think he was acting any differently with me. ANyhow his behaviour improved but he never told me about his affair with her. They are still 'friends' and she has told him that she is not happy for him and started to get possessive with him. He stopped going to class and so have I. However he still sees her on a friendship basis. When he told me about the affair I told him I was not happy for him to remain friends with her as any real friend would be happy for him if he was in love and as happy as he is now. I asked him why he had not told me and he said the more he fell in love with me the harder it was. He decided to tell me now as he felt more comfortable in our relationship . He was deeply remorseful about it. I love him very much but this womans marriage is in trouble now and I think she would do anything to split us up. I think she will start to look for him to support her emotionally. She is a very vindictive woman . AM I worrying too much abou this friendship with her or should I tell him clearly if he remains friends with her we are over? He says he wants me as his life partner but I want to be sure that there is no repeat of him having an affair with her in the future ...I'd appreciate and replay and thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
Arabess Posted December 15, 2003 Share Posted December 15, 2003 There are genuine 'platonic' types of friendships and then there are just woman who use friendship to go after your man! Especially since there was a past 'affair', which has a different dynamic than even a past 'regular relationship'. They are used to sharing secrets.....and that would bug the crap out of me! Usually, I'm real relaxed about stuff like that....but in this case....I'd find me another dance teacher and tell him to chose or lose. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BettyBoo Posted December 15, 2003 Author Share Posted December 15, 2003 Many thanks for replying and your advice. Like you I tend to be relaxed as I am a secure person but in this case I have serious issues and reservations regarding their 'friendship'. I have been clear with him so I suppose I have to wait and see. PLEASE IGNORE THE MANY SPELLING ERRORS IN THE ORIGINAL MESSAGE.....I am not a typist as you can see.;-) Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted December 15, 2003 Share Posted December 15, 2003 Certainly if you've explained to him that you fear their relationship may be rekindled and therefore you'd prefer he distance himself from her, one would hope that he'd honour your request. Link to post Share on other sites
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