Mind Games

[Seven The Messenger]

I have a good friend, she's an amazing woman...very intellectual, spiritual, open-minded, hilarious, her heart is enormous, she's beautiful from the inside out, etc. Just about everything you could want from a woman she has.

 

Here's the dilemma...

 

In 2008, she met some guy that she worked with during the summer. From what she tells me, he's on "another planet" intellectually, basically...he raped her brain with his knowledge. Eventually, they began dating and had sex one night...literally...one night and haven't had sex since. She's stuck on this guy, mainly because he's a brainiac.

 

Everything was perfect for awhile but all of a sudden, he didn't show much interest in her after for unknown reasons. When she asked him "Do you want to date other people?"...he said "no"...and that he wanted to build on what they have but he hasn't. He's been keeping her hostage for over a year and what's pathetic to me is, she has 3 kids...he doesn't know any of their names, she doesn't even know how old the guy is, sometimes she thinks he's gay...seriously...or...that his attraction is more towards White women. He's arrogant...due to his knowledge, he's the jealous type, he talks down about people she associates with, he isn't attentive to her needs at all, everything is about him and he really doesn't know much about her, not because she's not willing to tell him, rather, because he shows no desire to really get to know her and she really doesn't know him either, not because she doesn't try, rather...because he tries to be so mysterious so she can't read him.

 

When she said she wanted to be abstinent and that it was a serious goal for her...he was relentless in his attempts to try to sleep with her, but before...he never wanted to, she couldn't even discuss sex with him because he would find a way to get off the phone with her.

 

He didn't even acknowledge her as a friend, she helped this guy on numerous occasions, went to his house and took care of him while he was sick, she folds his clothes, she supports him in everything that he does. But when he made his Hierarchy list of important people in his life, she was nowhere in the triangle.

 

Eventually, her feelings started to decrease towards him. It even got to a point where she was about to end her "friendship" with him completely but somehow they continued to be "friends" - if that's what you want to call it.

 

Over the last few months, she doesn't look at him as some God...she doesn't do a lot of the things that she used to do when she was crazy about him. Recently, she told him that maybe they should just put off on trying to build something together because it feels "empty"...that he's not attentive to her needs and a plethora of other things. He blamed it on her, saying how she always so busy and can never spend time with him and at the end of the conversation she said "well, if it's cool with you then it's cool with me" in regards to stop seeing where things could go between them, and he seemed fine with it.

 

Now...all of a sudden, he has stepped his game up. He asks her to go places with him, he invites her over, introduces her to his friends and family, he's more affectionate, etc. So now, she's liking it...but doesn't know if she should let her guard down. A few weeks ago when she began to let her guard down, she came across a comment on his Myspace with some girl saying how she can't wait to see him, she said she was done with him...but here I am, telling you about this story so obviously she's not.

 

This has been going on for so long, one minute he's acting like he wants to be serious then a week later, he's showing no interest. I'm so tired of it and like I told her, if she lets her guard down and tries to see where things can go with him, I don't think I could talk to her knowing that she's with him. I'm 24, she's 31 and he's...well...we don't know, but...the situation is so childish, she's just his little toy...a toy that he got for Christmas and got tired of playing with it after awhile, but when other kids came over and were intrigued by this toy, all of sudden...he wants the toy back and wants no one to play with it.

 

Seriously, what do you think she should do? If she starts dating him again I cannot be a witness to it, I can't...I'm her best friend and I care about her more than anybody, but I can't watch someone make a fool out of themself and there's nothing I can do about it. I don't respect him nor do I trust him. Me & her could build on something but I'm in Wisconsin and she's in Kansas City...

Edited November 29, 2009 by Seven The Messenger