crappy dad.

[melmelss]

my father cheats on my mother, and occasionally hits my mother, my younger sister and i. we get along sometimes but most of the time he's not happy with anything from our moods to what's for dinner. he makes it look like my mother is being an apathetic, abusive, neglectful wife towards him, when in fact she is not any of these things. he talks to family friends about us and makes it look as though we're spoiled vindictive bitches. he doesn't let my mom have friends (he makes it awkward, or makes her feel too guilty and insecure to get out there and make plans) and when she visits her mother he gets jealous and makes her feel guilty. he makes it clear that we live in his house because he paid for it. he makes it clear that he paid for everything. he's very possessive over his money. he is a recovering alcoholic; he's been sober for over 20 years but he is clearly a dry drunk.

we, well everyone but him realizes that his actions are quite dysfunctional. my mom wants a divorce but he makes a nice salary and most of the household income, and is self employed but may lie about his income when it comes to dividing assets and such. he's a selfish bastard. i had to say it. haha

my mom is not the most assertive or confident person all the time. we just want to live peacefully in a nice home in our town without him. does anyone have any suggestions as to what i can do or suggest to her?

i have a car (that he bought me because i don't like him and he thought that would make me like him better) i can finally drive :]

 

i have a lot to be grateful for in the grand scheme of things.. possessions wise, thank the universe and i am eternally grateful

but i don't want to loose it. i'm not asking for a lot

i do realize that my grades matter most. and that this isn't my fault, it's just inconvenient.

i participate in school a lot and in extra curricular activities. i have my best friends for support. i have many hobbies i love to do and feel passionate about.

this is just really.. whatever.

suggestions?

[SincereOnlineGuy]

Sooner, rather than later, you will have to recognize that being the child of an alcoholic is going to bring terror to your own life. It is extreeeeeeemely possible that you (unknowingly) will seek mates who are very much just like your father (others will see/sense this in an instant, while you sit back and assure everyone "no, no, NOOOOOOOO").

 

If you want to save the decade of your 20's, do whatever you can to see a therapist, or perhaps read up on the organization for adult children of alcoholics.

 

You need to be proactive and make sure the future brings comfort and escape vs. heightened aggravation and immersion.