Can you love a bi-sexual man if he was willing to be loving and faithful ?

December 15, 2003

would you love him ?

or would his sexuality be a problem ? Most people are cool with bi females. Society thinks gay males are cool. (Queer eye for the straight guy, Will & Grace) but bi-sexual males are ignored and must live in secret or in shame. Either they lead straight lives or must conform by becoming exclusively gay which doesn't suit them since they actually feel attracted to women and fall in love sometimes.

December 15, 2003

Could I fall in love? Sure. I don't consider bisexuality in any way "more shameful" than homosexuality. Bisexual men actually seem to have some good emotional qualities, from the little I know of them. I do consider it more complicated and confusing than heterosexuality.

Would I want to marry him? Hmmmmmmm....it seems really risky. Could he truly be faithful to a woman and feel good about it? And there are the health issues. Men who have had sex with men are at higher risk for HIV and other STDs.

December 15, 2003

If they are to be monogomous, then it should be fine.

Every man or woman will, at times, find someone other than their spouse attractive.

It is OK as long as they never act on it.

I do not see a bi- person as being any different.

I do not think being bi- makes them less likely to be faithful, but I really do not know.

December 15, 2003

I also don't see being bi makes one less faithful - the personal choices are just that - personal and it doesn't matter the sexual orientation, it matters the commitment and integrety of the person.

Could I marry or have a relationship with a bisexual man? No. I understand all the lovely little technicalities that society touts now about homo- and bi-sexuals. The majority of the people who post on this board seem to think that anything other then heterosexuality is perfectly fine and normal, etc. I don't care what a persons sexual orientation is - its none of my business, unless I'm dating a man and he tells me that he's had intimate relationships with other men, then it becomes my business and I have as much right to my opinions and beliefs as anyone. I think its unnatural and it would bother me, and he would be history. -- best for both of us. Go ahead - bash away!

December 15, 2003

Perfectly understandable.

December 15, 2003

Originally posted by Guest
I I don't care what a persons sexual orientation is - its none of my business, unless I'm dating a man and he tells me that he's had intimate relationships with other men, then it becomes my business

No bashing here Guest. I feel exactly the same way. I don't care what anyone's sexual preference is, even as a good friend, unless they are someone I am intimate with. If a guy told me he was 'bi'...I would no longer be sexually attracted to him. Whether he would be faithful or not would be a mute point for me.

December 15, 2003

It would not matter to me. i'd love him anyway. bi guys need love too.

December 16, 2003

I'd be fine with it but I would want major assurances that there were and would never be health issues because of it.

December 16, 2003

I for one say a bi man can make a perfectly decent husband or boyfriend. if his female consort were to be accepting of him, all would be well and they would live well together. Did you know that in Greek and Roman times being bi-sexual was highly encouraged ? Emperors and politicians as well as warriors were forthrightly bi-sexual.

Someone who was exclusively heterosexual was seen as a bit strange. there are two options, why not enjoy both ?

the same went for Homosexuality, if exclusive. It was fruitless....one had a duty to the state to marry and have children.

How times have changed......

Examples of famous bi-sexuals :

Alexander the Great (356-323 BC) and the poet Pindar of Thebes.

Other great poets and philosophers of Ancient Greece are also rumored to be gay. These include Anacrean (563-478 BC), Euripedes (480-406 BC), Sophocles (496-406 BC), Socrates (470-399 BC), and Plato (427-347 BC).

the Roman Emperor, Hadrian (76-138 AD)

Julius Caesar (100-44 BC) Antinous Pius (86-161 AD).

Some Ancient homosexual Roman poets included Horace (65-8 BC), Ovid (43 BC-17 AD), and Virgil (70-19 BC). Virgil admitted his infatuation for Augustus (Octavian) in his poem, Eclogues. Another Ancient Roman poet who was gay was Seneca (4?BC-65 AD). He described how his lover was “passive” in his lovemaking.

Early British kings are also thought to be bisexual : King Richard I the Lion-hearted (1157-1199) and Phillip II (1165-1223) during their adventures on the Third Crusade. There was also King Edward II (1284-1327) and Piers Gaveston who were best of friends, to the point of intimacy.

Even the great William Shakespeare (1564-1616) and the composer Ludwig von Beethoven (1770-1827) were said to be bisexual.

Many of the Italian Renaissance artists were bisexual as well. This list includes Donatello (1386-1466), Leonardo da Vinci (1452-1519), Raphael (1483-1520), and Michelangelo (1475-1564). People now are even saying that Leonardo’s “Mona Lisa” was intended to be a self-portrait! This is also why Leonardo only did works on males and never actually finished a work on a female.

Joan of Arc (1412-1431) was a lesbian.

President George Washington (1732-1799) and Alexander Hamilton (1755-1804)

There are also many well-known people in the present who are open with their sexuality. There is Ellen DeGeneres, Anne Heche, Melissa Etheridge, k.d. lang, Elton John, Amy Ray and Emily Saliers of the Indigo Girls, Chastity Bono (daughter of Sonny and Cher), and Jodie Foster.

Past actors and performers such as James Dean (1931-1955), Rock Hudson (1925-1985), Charles Laughton (1889-1962), and Rudolph Valentino (1895-1926) were notorious bisexuals of their times. Janis Joplin , the talented singer, and Joan Jett were also lesbians.

Susan B. Anthony (1820-1906), the equal rights activist, and Eleanor Roosevelt are suggested to be lesbians of the past.

These are very few examples of people who loved either the same sex or both sexes.

They were amazing people who led great lives. I say we stop discriminating.

As for the ladies on this site, If a bi-sexual man does you the HONOR of being interested in you, feel flattered. These are often men of great power, dignity, beauty and talent. MEN who can have ANYONE they so desire. Feel flattered. Don't judge.

A day will come when people will no longer have to hide who they are. I will personally see to it.

Bi Man Out.

-peace.

December 16, 2003

A day will come when people will no longer have to hide who they are. I will personally see to it.

wow! WOW!

<dizzied, delighted, and inspired by manifesto>

Bi Man, many welcomes to forum.

December 18, 2003

yes...it wouldnt matter to me as long as he's faithful and good to me. i'd be real good to him. i dont know any guys like that, though. i know of str8 men and gay men. no bi guys anywhere !!!! i'd love to meet one....they sound fab !

December 18, 2003

But would you feel as if you, as a wife (or committed partner), feel like you are only capable of satisfying half of his needs/wants?

April 22, 2004

I HAVE HAD SUSPICIONS THAT MY MANLY MAN WAS BI BUT IT WAS JUST CONFIRMED FOR ME. WE HAVE BEEN DATING FOR A YEAR AND I KNOW HE CARES ABOUT ME A LOT AND IS SATISFIED IN THE BEDROOM. I JUST DON'T KNOW IF I CAN LOOK TOWARD A FUTURE WITH HIM KNOWING WHAT I KNOW NOW. I WANT TO GET MARRIED ONE DAY AND I DONT KNOW IF THAT IS EVEN REALISTIC AT THIS POINT TO THINK ABOUT. IM VERY CONFUSED.

April 23, 2004

Obviously, someone can be both bisexual and completely monogamous. The fact that your man is willing to admit to being bisexual, knowing that it may complicate or even threaten your relationship, is an incredibly good sign. He wants to be open with you. He wants mutual trust. I'd lay down a few ground rules and go for it.

April 23, 2004

Sup,

Umm.. iight im 'bi' ..so lemme jus add muh two cents ta dis. Its perfectly alright ta love anyone no matta wut dey sexual orientation may b. But i guess u really askn.. if its ok to 'Trust' him. Now dat iz wea it gets triccy. Honestly.. if he feels committed to u. Then dont worry.. cuz if his words r tru.. den u should jus trust dem. Its not diff. than straight guyz. Dey witchu.. tho dey may see otha females b like dayum.. i wanna hit dat.. but if he tru to YOU..den u should b fine.

Tha only problem wit him is that.. he goes both way. If he witchu.. that means he cant get wit noone else. Specially if he has tha desire ta b wit tha same gender, which will b harder. Trust me.. i kno. But it all depends on how strong ur bond iz/might b wit eachotha. Relationship is based on trust n love. But i feel u'll b tha better judge than anyone on hea.. cuz its Ur relationship. So jus go wit ur instincts. If you see it in him ..if he really shows attention to sum otha guyz.. if he seems ta have sum sorta interest. Den jus keep dat in mind..if u try ta get close wit him.

U jus b tha judge of it. We can only offer u our opinions.

Best of Lucc

April 23, 2004

Originally posted by Getting bi in MA.

President George Washington (1732-1799) and Alexander Hamilton (1755-1804)

?????????? Any proof of that? I have accepted the rumours that GW got around, but not with his batallion.

May 20, 2004

It is possible to have a wonderful realationship with a bi-sexual male. It is being able to accept and understand his desires at times. That is the BIG kicker !!! There are 3 ways that you can do this. 1) Be understanding as I said, but join in the experiance. Be an active partner and express his desires with him. Who knows, you might enjoy being involved !2) Understand and accept if you do not wish to join in, that he will need to express himself in the desires that stir in him. 3)If you do not wish join or have him to go outside the relationship to express this, then it will not work, for you are limiting him in his sexual expressions and desires. Thats about it, all you can do in having a relationship with a BiMale. I surpressed my desires in telling my mate, but our relationship is very honest,and that helped in expressing my desires to her. She is very open with it and it has made our relationship even stronger in her sharing this with me. Being a active participant. I am in a commited relationship with her, I dont not desire another mate. Which of the 3 examples meet your criteria? It is that way that you can make a better judgement in whether exploring this possibility. Best of luck in whatever relationship you do have in the future, and remeber, communication is Paramount !!! In ALL aspects of the relationship.

May 26, 2004

To Steveb,

It is funny - but your first name and last initial are the same as my husband's - I am a bi-sexual woman trying to live my life... As happily as I can, But being bi-sexual is making it more difficult than if I was either Lesbian or Straight.... My husband is straight - but is very understanding of my needs and desires as far as women go - Ultimately I would like to find a bi-woman who would love us both... So far that has not happenened - I either find Lesbians who only want me or I find Bi-curious women who end up wanting him.... He is 10 years younger than me and this is my third and last marriage - I will not find any man more suited to me "he is my soulmate" - can you have a male and female soulmate or are my efforts fruitless? Being gay weather a man or a woman is much easier than being bi-sexual - you need both to truley make you happy - Just looking for advice... "Please be kind".

Gale

==============================================================================================

Originally posted by Getting bi in MA.
I for one say a bi man can make a perfectly decent husband or boyfriend. if his female consort were to be accepting of him, all would be well and they would live well together. Did you know that in Greek and Roman times being bi-sexual was highly encouraged ? Emperors and politicians as well as warriors were forthrightly bi-sexual.
Someone who was exclusively heterosexual was seen as a bit strange. there are two options, why not enjoy both ?
the same went for Homosexuality, if exclusive. It was fruitless....one had a duty to the state to marry and have children.

How times have changed......

Examples of famous bi-sexuals :

Alexander the Great (356-323 BC) and the poet Pindar of Thebes.

Other great poets and philosophers of Ancient Greece are also rumored to be gay. These include Anacrean (563-478 BC), Euripedes (480-406 BC), Sophocles (496-406 BC), Socrates (470-399 BC), and Plato (427-347 BC).

the Roman Emperor, Hadrian (76-138 AD)

Julius Caesar (100-44 BC) Antinous Pius (86-161 AD).

Some Ancient homosexual Roman poets included Horace (65-8 BC), Ovid (43 BC-17 AD), and Virgil (70-19 BC). Virgil admitted his infatuation for Augustus (Octavian) in his poem, Eclogues. Another Ancient Roman poet who was gay was Seneca (4?BC-65 AD). He described how his lover was “passive” in his lovemaking.

Early British kings are also thought to be bisexual : King Richard I the Lion-hearted (1157-1199) and Phillip II (1165-1223) during their adventures on the Third Crusade. There was also King Edward II (1284-1327) and Piers Gaveston who were best of friends, to the point of intimacy.

Even the great William Shakespeare (1564-1616) and the composer Ludwig von Beethoven (1770-1827) were said to be bisexual.

Many of the Italian Renaissance artists were bisexual as well. This list includes Donatello (1386-1466), Leonardo da Vinci (1452-1519), Raphael (1483-1520), and Michelangelo (1475-1564). People now are even saying that Leonardo’s “Mona Lisa” was intended to be a self-portrait! This is also why Leonardo only did works on males and never actually finished a work on a female.

Joan of Arc (1412-1431) was a lesbian.

President George Washington (1732-1799) and Alexander Hamilton (1755-1804)

There are also many well-known people in the present who are open with their sexuality. There is Ellen DeGeneres, Anne Heche, Melissa Etheridge, k.d. lang, Elton John, Amy Ray and Emily Saliers of the Indigo Girls, Chastity Bono (daughter of Sonny and Cher), and Jodie Foster.

Past actors and performers such as James Dean (1931-1955), Rock Hudson (1925-1985), Charles Laughton (1889-1962), and Rudolph Valentino (1895-1926) were notorious bisexuals of their times. Janis Joplin , the talented singer, and Joan Jett were also lesbians.

Susan B. Anthony (1820-1906), the equal rights activist, and Eleanor Roosevelt are suggested to be lesbians of the past.

These are very few examples of people who loved either the same sex or both sexes.

They were amazing people who led great lives. I say we stop discriminating.

As for the ladies on this site, If a bi-sexual man does you the HONOR of being interested in you, feel flattered. These are often men of great power, dignity, beauty and talent. MEN who can have ANYONE they so desire. Feel flattered. Don't judge.

A day will come when people will no longer have to hide who they are. I will personally see to it.

Bi Man Out.

-peace.

May 26, 2004

Originally posted by DayumQuitPlayin
Sup,

Umm.. iight im 'bi' ..so lemme jus add muh two cents ta dis. Its perfectly alright ta love anyone no matta wut dey sexual orientation may b. But i guess u really askn.. if its ok to 'Trust' him. Now dat iz wea it gets triccy. Honestly.. if he feels committed to u. Then dont worry.. cuz if his words r tru.. den u should jus trust dem. Its not diff. than straight guyz. Dey witchu.. tho dey may see otha females b like dayum.. i wanna hit dat.. but if he tru to YOU..den u should b fine.

Tha only problem wit him is that.. he goes both way. If he witchu.. that means he cant get wit noone else. Specially if he has tha desire ta b wit tha same gender, which will b harder. Trust me.. i kno. But it all depends on how strong ur bond iz/might b wit eachotha. Relationship is based on trust n love. But i feel u'll b tha better judge than anyone on hea.. cuz its Ur relationship. So jus go wit ur instincts. If you see it in him ..if he really shows attention to sum otha guyz.. if he seems ta have sum sorta interest. Den jus keep dat in mind..if u try ta get close wit him.

U jus b tha judge of it. We can only offer u our opinions.

Best of Lucc

There's so much truth in this post, and the way it shines through the unique phrasing, makes it all the more endearing

May 26, 2004

I would date and (if the relationship is good) eventually marry a bisexual man if it would be okay for him not to cheat on me either with men or women.

As a matter of fact I think that a bisexual husband/bf (who would be happy being with me) would be cool.

But I have to admit I'd be a little worried (unless my bf assured me he would be happy with being with me and he'd not suffer from me not wanting him to date men) because of some conversation I had with a bisexual friend of mine.

This guy is married and cheating on his wife with a guy he knew from high school. He does not think he is cheating, because "his girlfriend could never give him what a man gives him" (can't help being rude here..... apart from 9 inches of d*ck, I can't really see what his lover could give him that his wife would not. ).

This way he is behaving really disgusts me. I tried to talk him out of it, tried to suggest him to ask his wife to buy a strap-on latex dildo and have rough sex with him that way (this is what he usually does with the OM.... they never make love, only rough sex), I am even considering threatening to tell his wife's sister. (just threatening, not doing it!)

So....... I am 95% positive that it is only this friend of mine trying to justify his actions in a lame way,

but yet I wonder if that statement of his

"it is not really cheating because I *need* to be in a relationship with both a man and a woman; if I were with only a woman, I would miss something"

holds some truth.

And I wonder if in this case ( 'needing both') it would be morally fair to ask a bisexual person not to be intimate/have sex with a person the opposite sex of yours.

I might feel it is not just towards them.

June 1, 2004

Hi, I'm Jamie, new to the board and found this board and topic in an askjeeves search under a "bi married" queery. It seems according to most recent studies that at least 50% of married men have had or are having sexual contact with other men, either in a passive (no reciprocation) or active (pleasure-giving) role. Wow. I was stunned, but then again, not surprised. Me and my wife were at one point having sex and we shared fantasies, including my bi-curiosities. A few years later, after some exploration of swing clubs which tend to encourage female-to-female activity (which she does not prefer), butt frowns on male-to-male activity, we realized that the swing lifestyle was too open and yet prejudicial for our tastes.

After getting a go-ahead to explore my "curiosities," I started a Yahoo swinging/multipartner group a while back for couples and bi men here in Arizona (a fairly conservative demographic) and initially invited mostly bi couples and bi singles to join. Then I decided I wanted to increase our group's size, so I sent out invites to couples listed as Str8 or straight male/hubby declaring no males, single males, etc. I had noticed many profiles of couples and guys who had joined our group as straight.

You would think my response would be modest at best, butt quite to the contrary - nearly 2/3 of those couples declaring themselves straight or with straight male partners accepted the invitations! Not only that, when I invited unattached females into the group, half accepted as well. In a ladies-ONLY anonymous poll I created for all members, single and wives, over 90% said they seriously were turned on bi MMF (Male-Male-Female) fantasies, even though they would mostly never admit to it publicly. A full 75% had already experienced or admitted a serious desire for actual viewing/participating in male bi-sexual activity such as MMF with their partner. Over 35% of those female members and/or wives responded as having MMF sexual experiences on a regular basis. OVER a THIRD. There are nearly 500 female members in our group now.

Here's the real clincher... I then invited STRAIGHT-listed single/married men here in our region to join our group... a whopping 60% accepted the invitations to join a couples-oriented group for Bi Men and male-to-male sexual contact with multiple partners. Straight men who had curiosities/desires to experience same-sex activities with a female present. I was astonished, because that was nearly the same percentage of those men listed as bi or bi-curious who accepted membership invitations. That nearly mirrors the percentage of women in society who admit to similar bisexual desires with their partner/spouse, maybe even eclipses it.

So, what have I (or you) learned from this...? You tell me. Well, for one thing, we men are extremely horny creatures and will accept sexual gratification from just about anything. LOL. However, it goes much deeper (pardon the pun) than that - there is a definite sexual physical attraction (not necessarily emotional) many men have for each other, butt choose to conceal in order to mask attacks on their masculinity.

Kinsey, Freud or Masters & Johnson I ain't, butt if you look at the whole picture of my "findings" you can clearly see a pattern here... men are much more sexually (and emotionally) complicated than we let on to you females. We will look you in the eyes and lie our (butts) off when confronted with these things, however, the second you tell us it turns you on, it usually will turn us on and you have a better chance of us admitting it. My MMF bi fantasies (now desires) have recently taken a turn into reality (I'm not quite fully bi... yet) and they all started with an ex-girlfriend's late-night confession of her desire to see me with another guy as I had the same desire for her and another girl. That was in turn followed bi other girls I met who privately admitted similar feelings - gotta love those 80's. After all those years, I couldn't shake what she (and others) planted - a curse or a blessing - eventually, I'll figure out that answer. She ignited that spark of desire (which I willingly fueled), for her pleasure - and years later, ultimately... mine.

Jamie[color=indigo][/color]

June 15, 2004

not bi-sexual

Alexandra

[

QUOTE]Originally posted by Getting bi in MA.