rateyes Posted November 30, 2009 Share Posted November 30, 2009 (Im a Guy.) So most of my friends are girls. i would have to say my ratio in friends is 4(girls):1((guy). Its safe to say im comfortable talking to girls as friends. But when i like a girl i find it hard to talk to them in a non-friend way(flirting with them,being touchy,etc). This then 'friend zones' me and increases my friend circle by +1. I know yall cant do much, just seeing if there are any new ideas for me to try or something. one thing that bothers me: in general, do girls like being touched(nonsexual way)? I find myself restraining cuz i think most people hate people touching them. Link to post Share on other sites
billy356 Posted November 30, 2009 Share Posted November 30, 2009 rat I think you actually have an advantage depending on what you want exactly from these women. If you are looking for a casual relationship then yes you are probably at a disadvantage based on what you said. But chances are you are not looking for that or why would you be here..lol! The best relationships come out of friendships, thats the plain truth. There is a building of trust, of getting to know one more fully before becoming intimate. And the intimacy is stronger because of it. Everything is stronger in a relationship that begins in friendship. Of course even breakups are stronger too..... The key is to not try and find a way to "pick up" a strange girl and start dating her per se. it is how to turn one of your "friends" into an intimate friend. Dont think that just because you are friends with a girl she is automatically not interested. there are probably a good number of your friends that are girls that WOULD be interested in dating you, you just arent aware of that. Start looking into your circle of friends and see which ones you would be interested in. Next time you talk, hang out, etc.. look for non-verbal cues such as solid eye contact, physical contact that is seemingly innocuous, laughing at all your jokes, all the usual stuff. Then just phase into you two doing something together as friends, a date but not a date, think of it as advanced hanging out. Let this progress, dont move to fast and see what happens. Not all of the girl friends that you are interested in will be interested in you back but if take a friendship and then slowly progress into intimacy you will both be happier and more secure with yourselves. of course if you are looking for a hookup, I find that Tequila helps quite a bit... best of luck to ya buddy, I am sure you will be happy and make someone else happy no problem!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author rateyes Posted December 1, 2009 Author Share Posted December 1, 2009 rat I think you actually have an advantage depending on what you want exactly from these women. If you are looking for a casual relationship then yes you are probably at a disadvantage based on what you said. But chances are you are not looking for that or why would you be here..lol! The best relationships come out of friendships, thats the plain truth. There is a building of trust, of getting to know one more fully before becoming intimate. And the intimacy is stronger because of it. Everything is stronger in a relationship that begins in friendship. Of course even breakups are stronger too..... The key is to not try and find a way to "pick up" a strange girl and start dating her per se. it is how to turn one of your "friends" into an intimate friend. Dont think that just because you are friends with a girl she is automatically not interested. there are probably a good number of your friends that are girls that WOULD be interested in dating you, you just arent aware of that. Start looking into your circle of friends and see which ones you would be interested in. Next time you talk, hang out, etc.. look for non-verbal cues such as solid eye contact, physical contact that is seemingly innocuous, laughing at all your jokes, all the usual stuff. Then just phase into you two doing something together as friends, a date but not a date, think of it as advanced hanging out. Let this progress, dont move to fast and see what happens. Not all of the girl friends that you are interested in will be interested in you back but if take a friendship and then slowly progress into intimacy you will both be happier and more secure with yourselves. of course if you are looking for a hookup, I find that Tequila helps quite a bit... best of luck to ya buddy, I am sure you will be happy and make someone else happy no problem!! ya lookin for a relationship, i don't do hook ups , just find something about having sex outside relationships as empty and nothing. ill try, i have one girl in particular, but for some reason i cant find ways to be more flirty with her, shes always with friends, and that would make it awkward for everybody lol Link to post Share on other sites
billy356 Posted December 1, 2009 Share Posted December 1, 2009 gotta separate her from the herd...ask her out to help you with XMAS shopping or something not obviously a date... Link to post Share on other sites
Author rateyes Posted December 1, 2009 Author Share Posted December 1, 2009 gotta separate her from the herd...ask her out to help you with XMAS shopping or something not obviously a date... well im only 18 so i dont do much shopping , we do hang out 1-1 alot, but i feel its more a friendly thing. i do get signs, like her friends always moving so it ends up me sitting by her, and touching my leg with hers when were sitting down, but then it will be totally no signs at all, its like she changes her mind everyday:confused: Link to post Share on other sites
Yukikazi Posted December 1, 2009 Share Posted December 1, 2009 well im only 18 so i dont do much shopping , we do hang out 1-1 alot, but i feel its more a friendly thing. i do get signs, like her friends always moving so it ends up me sitting by her, and touching my leg with hers when were sitting down, but then it will be totally no signs at all, its like she changes her mind everyday:confused: I'm sorry.. she changes her mind everyday? What has she done that makes you think she is attracted to you as more then friends? If she changes her mind she would have to be going hot/cold on you.. is that what she is doing? I'm not trying to sound like a prick here... but Seriously.. what signs has she given you to show she is interested? Lets talk the leg touching.. was that you touching her leg, her touching yours (I am assuming this is intermittent contact with your legs and not hands on legs) could it be explained as a random leg brush or can you be 80% positive she was well aware of your leg touching hers and knew it was on purpose rather then an accident. Has she shown you any obvious signs or have they all been barely dancing over the line of subtlety? P.S her friends playing musical chairs doesn't mean anything.. they could (probably do) know you are interested in this girl so they are doing it to stick you together for their own entertainment. Link to post Share on other sites
Author rateyes Posted December 2, 2009 Author Share Posted December 2, 2009 I'm sorry.. she changes her mind everyday? What has she done that makes you think she is attracted to you as more then friends? If she changes her mind she would have to be going hot/cold on you.. is that what she is doing? I'm not trying to sound like a prick here... but Seriously.. what signs has she given you to show she is interested? Lets talk the leg touching.. was that you touching her leg, her touching yours (I am assuming this is intermittent contact with your legs and not hands on legs) could it be explained as a random leg brush or can you be 80% positive she was well aware of your leg touching hers and knew it was on purpose rather then an accident. Has she shown you any obvious signs or have they all been barely dancing over the line of subtlety? P.S her friends playing musical chairs doesn't mean anything.. they could (probably do) know you are interested in this girl so they are doing it to stick you together for their own entertainment. she touches my leg with hers and leaves it for a few mins. and prob... but im done anyway, waste of time. Sober girls are to much work, im going back to drunk girls... Link to post Share on other sites
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