sxyNYCcpl Posted December 2, 2009 Share Posted December 2, 2009 I don't think that has anything to do with it And yes, most men are children in any case. Ha, well that's probably true, but has nothing to do with the point I was making. A marriage should be a relationship of equals, not a relationship in which one commands authority over another. When I enter into a relationship, even a marriage, I do not cede, nor do I request, any authority to my partner, nor vice versa, to control actions. She simply does not have the authority to demand unilaterally that I not view porn nor I her. She certainly can request that, and that would most likely signal that she and I do not belong together as I have no interest in being with someone whose self-confidence is threatened by images on a screen. I was simply pointing out that the OP was acting like a teenager whose mom found his stash. His response should have been something more along the lines of "Yeah, I watched it. So what?" Link to post Share on other sites
Texsun65 Posted December 2, 2009 Share Posted December 2, 2009 Dude - Man up! You looked at porn and liked it. We all do and we all like it. No biggie. Is she giving you enough? If not, does she expect you to be a Monk? Don't be a wuss. Man up. If you love her, reassure her that you do, but also let her know it is not near as big a deal as she is making it and she just needs to get over it. And if she isn't giving you enough, this is the perfect moment to point that out. Link to post Share on other sites
Fritz Posted December 2, 2009 Share Posted December 2, 2009 And yes, most men are children in any case. Hey, you get constantly tossed into a role, you start to act it out and enjoy it since you're going to be viewed through that prism anyway. "For the partner who has a problem with it, it is not just a small problem it is (emotionally) right up there with cheating. I would bet you knew your wife's views on this before you were tempted to look. Well, it doesn't matter if it was out of curiosity, for goofing around, or you were getting off on it; to her it is perverse, it violates the intimacy between the two of you (no matter how much or little that may be) and it insults her ability to turn you on. It is hard to compete with pornography. It may seem ridiculous, but it is a powerful evil to a partner who is opposed to it; and can damage trust more than you know." And some women say you can't control/own a person's body... baloney, women do it all the time. They think they own their man's sexuality but get all self righteous if the man tries to do the same. No porn allowed? No chick flicks, no romance novels or soap operas allowed. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted December 2, 2009 Share Posted December 2, 2009 which I heard was for free from some "guys" from work. I was courious and checked it out a few weeks ago. For the most part ..I could not believe it was for free ...and for crying out loud ..it looked like youtube. I basically goofed at all the silly vids and laughed out loud. I never "seriously" went on it again. But I have to admit If I was'nt working day and night I would have checked it out again. Not something I need ...dont even think about it...just thought it was a goof. Honestly.. I think if you explained this to your wife in the same fashion you did here then she shouldn't have a problem with it.. You seem like your not the type of guy rubbing one out with their spouse next to them asleep in bed while watching a video.. If you have explained it like you did here and she has a problem with it still and doesn't really believe you then it is the marriage on the rocks issue that is getting to her and she feels like you are beginning to walk out the door and not need her anymore... Link to post Share on other sites
eversay Posted December 2, 2009 Share Posted December 2, 2009 unless you were looking at underage or crazy shyt like that, then seriously your wife needs to get over it. Porn is harmless unless you are watching it more than you are paying attention to her. And yes I'm a female over 25 yrs old. Link to post Share on other sites
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