Do men really want marriage?

[Sam Spade]

Maybe they do it out of some sort of family dynastic concept, plus it ensure the wife won't run - and they call it "love".

 

To marry someone is to exert the maximum level of legal control (aside from being a parent) on another person. Somewhat tempting to those who crave/need an ordered environment.

 

 

(hee hee wait until the screaming babies come.....)

 

as long as they don't vomit on my suits it'll be lots of fun !

[GorillaTheater]

Not to mention any names, but some guys got married because they were drunk enough to propose, and the gal was drunk enough to accept. And it happened so long ago they don't even remember what it was like to be single.

[pandagirl]

Your bro knows what's up; nothing wrong with getting married to make the girl happy :love:

 

Yup! Now they have the most adorable two-year-old twins. They are such a team seeing them as parents. Totally 50/50.

[Sam Spade]

I will lob something else into this thread. Anyone who doesn't fully embrace the institution of marriage, should never get married. Leave marriage to those who believe in it. If this happened, there would be a lot fewer divorces.

 

Ah yes, "The Marriage" is a property of the in-bred, socially conservative crowd, and so watch out if you try to mess with what's legally theirs and only theirs .

[threebyfate]

Ah yes, "The Marriage" is a property of the in-bred, socially conservative crowd, and so watch out if you try to mess with what's legally theirs and only theirs .

Try to leave your social chip behind, will you?

[Ms. Joolie]

I wonder this as well. Are mens reasons for marriage always about practicality or is it ever emotional as it is for many women?

 

I would say it's always about practicality, their practicality.

 

"I'd look bad if I don't get married."

"She wants to, and I don't want to lose her."

"I want a family of my own."

 

They need a good reason to get married, once they have it they'll get married. Unless they are completely opposed, I guess. But it is about practicality for them I'd say. Unless he's an emotional kind of guy....

[Ms. Joolie]

Nope. They don't fully embrace the values associated to the institution of marriage. Financial gain isn't a valid reason to get married and neither is fear of loss.

 

But you do see that it's only an institution by religious belief, right? Men will get married due to religious belief. I guess I could throw in social pressure....

 

If it's only pressure they might settle for a state sanctioned union. That doesn't sound pleasant. lol.

 

 

I personally don't see a valid reason for myself to get married. LOL. I just think being a wifey would be so cute. Okay, well, special. But how am I going to tell THAT to the man I love?? Probably just that way.

 

WTH. Why am I even thinking of this. lol

[thegreatmoose]

Really?? lol. Okay, I admit I may be unenlightened in this subject. But I have thought about it.... what are those "many additional reasons" you think?

 

Do I dare think men will marry for love alone?

I want to be a husband rather than a live in boyfriend. It would have a very special meaning to me. That alone would be enough. The legal contracts that would bind me to my wife are so important to me. A justice of the peace marriage means as much as a religious marriage to me. The symbolism of the rings means something too. I think a lot of men are embarrassed to admit all this, but it is often true.

 

Married couples have numerous rights than unmarried couples don't have, so there's more reasons.

 

My feelings may be different from the next guy's feelings.

[JL911]

Im a male and slightly offended by the outlandish accusations of why men want to get married and why they dont.

 

Quite frankly I tend to believe that yes I do want a family.. However, I want my children to grow up in a stable environment with stable secure role models for which I they can look too for proper advice and morals in life (IE: Mom & Dad)

 

I want someone to confide in...I know that the whole life process is not easy and you are gonna fight, but if you find someone who is a team player and looks out not only for their own benefit, but yours as well, well chances are you got yourself a keeper...

 

If you marry for any reasons...you may simply deserve your child support payment or your divorce settlement...You need to find someone with realistic views of life and marriage....

[threebyfate]

But you do see that it's only an institution by religious belief, right? Men will get married due to religious belief. I guess I could throw in social pressure....

No I don't. Marriage existed before the religious hoop-la.

 

If it's only pressure they might settle for a state sanctioned union. That doesn't sound pleasant. lol.

This is what you believe and not what I believe.

 

I personally don't see a valid reason for myself to get married. LOL. I just think being a wifey would be so cute. Okay, well, special. But how am I going to tell THAT to the man I love?? Probably just that way.

 

WTH. Why am I even thinking of this. lol

From your views, you should never get married.

[Ms. Joolie]

I want to be a husband rather than a live in boyfriend. It would have a very special meaning to me. That alone would be enough. The legal contracts that would bind me to my wife are so important to me. A justice of the peace marriage means as much as a religious marriage to me. The symbolism of the rings means something too. I think a lot of men are embarrassed to admit all this, but it is often true.

 

Married couples have numerous rights than unmarried couples don't have, so there's more reasons.

 

My feelings may be different from the next guy's feelings.

 

I'll add that to my list of reasons guys would get married. So now it's grown!

 

Reasons men get married:

 

1) to have their own family with children

2) religious beliefs

3) social pressure

4) because they find meaning in it

[Ms. Joolie]

Im a male and slightly offended by the outlandish accusations of why men want to get married and why they dont.

 

For my part, I don't want to sound or be jaded..... with lots of things I'm jaded and need a better perspective. That's why I love LS.

 

 

I like this thread.

[Ms. Joolie]

No I don't. Marriage existed before the religious hoop-la.

 

The institution??? I think not.

 

 

From your views, you should never get married.

 

I know!

[thegreatmoose]

I'll add that to my list of reasons guys would get married. So now it's grown!

 

Reasons men get married:

 

1) to have their own family with children

2) religious beliefs

3) social pressure

4) because they find meaning in it

Number 3 will never be a reason for me. Number 4 is extremely imprtant to me.

 

I'm sure if you ask and can get honest answers from 10000 men, you will find plenty more reasons.

[Ms. Joolie]

Number 3 will never be a reason for me. Number 4 is extremely imprtant to me.

 

I added #4 because of your input, thank you. That is why I would get married, too.... because I find meaning in it.

 

I'm curious to know if you find meaning in marriage inside or outside of church affiliation/religious beliefs?? After I let go of religion, I had to find new meaning to marriage, which is why I ask. So I'm curious to know if you find meaning in marriage because you are a religious guy.

 

I consider myself spiritual, I guess. I think non-spiritual people would have a much harder time "finding meaning" to marriage.

 

 

I'm sure if you ask and can get honest answers from 10000 men, you will find plenty more reasons.

 

That would be quite a task. LS will have to do.

[ComeUndone]

Im a male and slightly offended by the outlandish accusations of why men want to get married and why they dont.

 

Quite frankly I tend to believe that yes I do want a family.. However, I want my children to grow up in a stable environment with stable secure role models for which I they can look too for proper advice and morals in life (IE: Mom & Dad)

 

I want someone to confide in...I know that the whole life process is not easy and you are gonna fight, but if you find someone who is a team player and looks out not only for their own benefit, but yours as well, well chances are you got yourself a keeper...

 

If you marry for any reasons...you may simply deserve your child support payment or your divorce settlement...You need to find someone with realistic views of life and marriage....

 

Do you really think the previous posters are that far off base? Do you honestly not know many men who don't want to get married for those very reasons you state are outlandish, regardless of whether you feel more emotional about marriage yourself?

[ADF]

Yup, this. And then when the things in my first post start happening, he decides he better marry the girl he's dating so she doesn't dump him, because probably he knows/thinks most women would not be OK with just "hanging out" forever.

 

And they shouldn't be willing to just hang out forever. What men don't get is that when they refuse to marry the women they say they love, they send a clear message: I want an easy out. No matter how long they've been together, no matter how many years of her life the woman has invested in the man, the man still wants to be able to walk away from her at any time, oweing nothing and never having to look back. It shouldn't take a genius to understand why this makes women feel unwanted, unloved and insecure.

[Boundary Problem]

And they shouldn't be willing to just hang out forever. What men don't get is that when they refuse to marry the women they say they love, they send a clear message: I want an easy out. No matter how long they've been together, no matter how many years of her life the woman has invested in the man, the man still wants to be able to walk away from her at any time, oweing nothing and never having to look back. It shouldn't take a genius to understand why this makes women feel unwanted, unloved and insecure.

 

 

 

I think it depends if there are going to be children. Mind you I wiffle waffle on this.

[threebyfate]

And they shouldn't be willing to just hang out forever. What men don't get is that when they refuse to marry the women they say they love, they send a clear message: I want an easy out. No matter how long they've been together, no matter how many years of her life the woman has invested in the man, the man still wants to be able to walk away from her at any time, oweing nothing and never having to look back. It shouldn't take a genius to understand why this makes women feel unwanted, unloved and insecure.

While I agree with you about why these women feel this way, it's up to the women to stand on their own two feet and walk away from someone who's looking for a quick exit. Imagine forcing someone like this to the altar and then having them walk away when the chips are down, like after childbirth, when you really need to be a team.

[Woggle]

Men do want marriage but the horror stories we hear scare the hell out us. Men don't want to end up another statistic.

[Sam Spade]

Try to leave your social chip behind, will you?

 

What chip? What I said applies to fundamentalists from all walks of life - all the way from trailer trash to repuGlican political royalty.

 

(But of course, the fact that you automatically assumed it applies to you personally, and whatever your "background" is, merely reinforced the painfully obvious ==> yes, sweetie, we all know that you ARE the center of the Universe.)

[threebyfate]

What chip? What I said applies to fundamentalists from all walks of life - all the way from trailer trash to repuGlican political royalty.

 

(But of course, the fact that you automatically assumed it applies to you personally, and whatever your "background" is, merely reinforced the painfully obvious ==> yes, sweetie, we all know that you ARE the center of the Universe.)

Take another look, speaking of assumptions, where did I say it's applicable to me and mine? But there's no doubt you have a social chip. It oozes from all your posts.

[bbf]

And they shouldn't be willing to just hang out forever. What men don't get is that when they refuse to marry the women they say they love, they send a clear message: I want an easy out. No matter how long they've been together, no matter how many years of her life the woman has invested in the man, the man still wants to be able to walk away from her at any time, oweing nothing and never having to look back. It shouldn't take a genius to understand why this makes women feel unwanted, unloved and insecure.

 

From reading some of the threads here I don't think that's always true. Even when the man can perfectly articulate the reasons he doesn't want to get married and the women shows that she very clearly understands it's not about having an exit strategy women still feel upset and still want to get married.

[PinkToes]

I actually have a harder time understanding why women want to get married. I mean as a goal, apart from the man. I have women friends who seem to have been born looking for a husband. That's pretty sad, IMO.

[ComeUndone]

I actually have a harder time understanding why women want to get married. I mean as a goal, apart from the man. I have women friends who seem to have been born looking for a husband. That's pretty sad, IMO.

 

Yes it seems many women consider marriage a "goal" too be reached. If for no other reason, marriage expresses the ultimate commitment to them, even if they have persuaded their mate to marry them. I don't understand it when I hear women say things like: "I want to be married by the time I'm 25" or "once we've been together for 3 years I better have a ring on this finger!" Putting timelines on marriage is bizarre since we can't control the natural dynamics of our intimate relationships.