threebyfate Posted December 2, 2009 Share Posted December 2, 2009 So Im guessing many adults are not adults then by that definition. Really marriage is overrated, many SMART men have realized that. They have sex with different partners and if they want children they can fool the women because a women is easily fooled ESPECIALLY IF THE GUY IS HOT.So what exactly are we debating? I say you shouldn't get married and you say you don't believe in marriage, that it's for the weak. I'm not certain what the point of this entire debate is about, beyond the need to bicker. Link to post Share on other sites
Sam Spade Posted December 2, 2009 Share Posted December 2, 2009 In a situation where the guy is not driven by religion, the desire for children, or family pressure, I think guys really only desire to get married if they truly think "this is it, this is the perfect girl for me, there is no chance of me doing any better, I better hold onto her!" I visited my boyfriend at work a few weeks ago and he told me that a coworker of his made the comment "dude...she is perfect...put a ring on her finger right now!" It made me smile. Yeah, gotta lock that s*** down! Link to post Share on other sites
C-i-C-u Posted December 2, 2009 Share Posted December 2, 2009 (edited) So what exactly are we debating? I say you shouldn't get married and you say you don't believe in marriage, that it's for the weak. I'm not certain what the point of this entire debate is about, beyond the need to bicker. What I'm saying is that most people who marry will eventually cheat. Why? Becuase they don't take responsibility for themselves. Edited December 3, 2009 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
Sam Spade Posted December 2, 2009 Share Posted December 2, 2009 I've never been with a guy who didn't want to get married. I think when the woman isn't that interested in marriage, then the guy thinks it's some kind of challenge or something.. Absolutely not true ! I.e. the last thing that I'd do is try to convince a woman that doesn't want to marry me to marry me . If she wants - great, if she doesn't - fine too. No convincing of any kind though. Moreover, I'm pretty sure that "women who don't want to get married" in reallity actually means "women who do want to get married, but don't nag about it because they know better". Now these are the real keepers . Link to post Share on other sites
threebyfate Posted December 2, 2009 Share Posted December 2, 2009 What I'am saying is that most people who marry will eventually cheat. Why? Becuase they don't take responsibility for themselves.Which is why you shouldn't get married, if you have no trust in prospective partners. My H. won't cheat. It's not in him to cheat. But if I'm wrong, I'll survive and thrive once again. Life's too short not to take the risk, with such wonderful returns. No relationship can survive without trust. Link to post Share on other sites
muse08 Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 (edited) What I'am saying is that most people who marry will eventually cheat. Why? Becuase they don't take responsibility for themselves. i feel you cicu, in spite of what some people say. they're trying to think positive and give people the benefit of the doubt.that's all well and good. however, realistically speaking most people who get married DO cheat. it's sad yet true. i understand why people try to stay so positive and optimistic...it helps you stay happy (in denial) even if you're getting negative vibes...for anyone to say adamantly that "my husband/wife would NEVER cheat on me" is pretty naive. you can never say what another person will do no matter how much they love you or how much you love them. what i've noticed is that people who say stuff like that (he/she would never...) are often times trying to "convince" themselves that their partner will never betray them. you HOPE they don't but humans are not error proof just b/c they love you. they should be , but it's obviously not the case with the number of people who divorce due to extramarital affairs.we want to think the best about people, but i guess we just have to love people for who they are if you plan on marrying them and hope and pray for the best... Edited December 3, 2009 by muse08 Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 Nothing in life is certain and anyone has the physical capabilities to cheat, but not everyone has the mental capabilities. If you want to go through life scared to get married because of that uncertainty, then by all means go for it but personally I'd rather not live in fear and if I meet someone who I end up loving and caring enough for and she is ok with the idea of marriage, then I will do it. Again, not everyone will cheat. Link to post Share on other sites
FilthMerchant Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 If we look at it logically, marriage can only be a liability for a man. And that is best case scenario. When the marriage is going through a rough patch, the woman has two options: One - put in real hard work, persevere and improve the marriage Two - divorce the man, be free to do whatever, no hard work, and you get to be financially better off than you ever were before! Why are 70% of divorces initiated by women? Why do 50% of marriages end in divorce? The reason is above. Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 Why are 70% of divorces initiated by women? Why do 50% of marriages end in divorce? The reason is above. I think the real reason why so many marriages end in divorce is because you have so many individuals who end up getting pregnant so soon and they feel that they must rush off and get married for the sake of the kid and without getting to know each other and when they do, its a disaster. So it comes down to people rushing things. Take the time to get to know the person. Make sure they are right for you. Link to post Share on other sites
FilthMerchant Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 Uh, no. The real reason is the reason I gave. Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 Uh, no. The real reason is the reason I gave. I see you are open for discussion. Link to post Share on other sites
FilthMerchant Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 I am open to intelligent discussion. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 If we look at it logically, marriage can only be a liability for a man. And that is best case scenario. When the marriage is going through a rough patch, the woman has two options: One - put in real hard work, persevere and improve the marriage Two - divorce the man, be free to do whatever, no hard work, and you get to be financially better off than you ever were before! Why are 70% of divorces initiated by women? Why do 50% of marriages end in divorce? The reason is above. Then why do men get married at all if this is true? Why? Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 I think the real reason why so many marriages end in divorce is because you have so many individuals who end up getting pregnant so soon and they feel that they must rush off and get married for the sake of the kid and without getting to know each other and when they do, its a disaster. So it comes down to people rushing things. Take the time to get to know the person. Make sure they are right for you. And, for God's sake please use birth control! Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 And, for God's sake please use birth control! not just a womans responsibility to be precautious. Pills aren't 100% proof. Guys should use condoms as well. Link to post Share on other sites
Ross PK Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 I'm not sure whether most men actually want to get married. But the main reason why men get married, at least in America, is probably because of religion, and because I've heard people say that in America if you have kids it makes financial sense to get married. I have absolutley no desire to get married myself, and don't see much point. It's not like I'd ever have the opportunity to anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
FilthMerchant Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 Then why do men get married at all if this is true? Why? Fear of losing a girlfriend because she's pushing it on them Societal pressures Fear of loneliness Foolishness Idealisation of the benefits and ignorance of the costs Link to post Share on other sites
thegreatmoose Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 Fear of losing a girlfriend because she's pushing it on them Societal pressures Fear of loneliness Foolishness Idealisation of the benefits and ignorance of the costs Are you are saying that a man who feels that it is a good thing to be married is foolish and is ignorant of the benefits and costs of marriage? I don't think that is accurate at all. Link to post Share on other sites
FilthMerchant Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 No. I do think happy marriages exist. Just that the average modern Western woman is incapable of them, and the average (feminised) modern American man is at disastrous odds with reality. Link to post Share on other sites
Sam Spade Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 No. I do think happy marriages exist. Just that the average modern Western woman is incapable of them, and the average (feminised) modern American man is at disastrous odds with reality. Pleated khakis, oversized poliester shirts, cell phone holsters, meek quiet talk Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 No. I do think happy marriages exist. Just that the average modern Western woman is incapable of them, and the average (feminised) modern American man is at disastrous odds with reality. I agree. Look at the divorce forum on this board and that is all the reason you need for why so many men are afraid of marriage. Who wants to take a gamble where there is a 50% of losing and a 75% chance that the other party will be the one to cause the loss? What gambler who knows anything would jump head first into that? Link to post Share on other sites
sally4sara Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=206639&page=5 What costs of marriage? Wogs, you had no kids with your ex. What exactly what the loss percentage on your divorce? And I'm also tired of hearing guys who have never even been married talk about how costly divorce is for men due to the mentality of the courts and Western women. My non materialistic attitude was the reason I didn't jump on filing the moment my ex didn't keep up with child support. All it did was benefit my son's dead beat father and kill some opportunities for my son. Link to post Share on other sites
thegreatmoose Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 No. I do think happy marriages exist. Just that the average modern Western woman is incapable of them, and the average (feminised) modern American man is at disastrous odds with reality. Both men and women all too often choose each other because they are "hot". That's a significant reason for divorces. Now you claim that a man is "feminized" if he thinks that finding a happy marriage is realistic. I have no idea how you came up with that, but I totally disagree. Link to post Share on other sites
thegreatmoose Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 I agree. Look at the divorce forum on this board and that is all the reason you need for why so many men are afraid of marriage. Who wants to take a gamble where there is a 50% of losing and a 75% chance that the other party will be the one to cause the loss? What gambler who knows anything would jump head first into that? These numbers are not random. They have everything to do with the two people that marry. If they marry for the right reasons, the number is much lower than 50%. If they marry for the wrong reasons, it is much higher. Link to post Share on other sites
calizaggy Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 Marriage used to have actual, tangible benefits for men.. It was harder to get sex, so a wife provided that. A woman was schooled in the art of raising kids and homemaking. Divorce rate was low. Now what do we have? Sex is easy to get. Very few women take pride in serving a man and devoting herself to raising children and creating a wonderful, peaceful home. You are basically telling a guy "Your obligations are largely the same. You must work and pay bills, this woman can leave you at anytime she pleases and take half your stuff, you must cook for yourself, AND your most basic and deepest desire which would be sleeping with other women, must be supressed for the rest of your life" if I am cooking for myself and paying bills anyway, why limit myself to one woman for the rest of my life? Link to post Share on other sites
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