confusedperson Posted June 15, 2000 Share Posted June 15, 2000 i was wondering if anyone can help me...i have pretty much fallen for a girl that i have become good friends with about 6 months ago. i already told her once that i liked her so she does know. the only problem she still likes her old boyfriend, who is also one of my friends, and they hang out with each other quite a bit. i dont know if i should keep building on our friendship or if i should just come out with my real feelings for her. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted June 15, 2000 Share Posted June 15, 2000 You told her you liked her and she continues to hang out with her old boyfriend, whom she still likes. I also don't think it's cool to have designs on your friend's old girlfriend, especially since they still get together. In these kinds of situations, unless you don't mind losing a friend, you need to put lots of time in between your friend's relationship with her and you trying to move in. As a matter of courtesy, if you value your friendship with this guy, you should perhaps ask him how he would feel if you went out with his ex...BUT DON'T ASK NOW...WAIT A GOOD LONG WHILE!!! Keep quiet right now unless you want to really destroy some friendships. As long as she has some interest in her old boyfriend, telling her you have fallen for her will really screw things up. After all, she DOES know you like her and she hasn't acted on it. Your best strategy is to remain cool and start seeing other people. If she even has a slight interest in you other than as a friend, it will come out when she finds you are dating around. Additionally, I don't think you should spend a lot of time with any girl who sees you only as a friend and for whom you have intense feelings. You are putting yourself through needless pain and that's something that most sane people avoid. The truth is you DON'T want to be just her friend, you want to be MORE...and her head is not there right now. Either learn this from me here now...or learn it the hard way and get your butt kicked by this chick (and maybe her old boyfriend too). Link to post Share on other sites
confusedperson Posted June 15, 2000 Share Posted June 15, 2000 thanks for the advice but the big thing tha confuses me i guess is whenever me and him are around with her she hangs out with me, and then i'll talk to her at night and she'll say she didnt do anything when i know she and him went and did something... Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted June 15, 2000 Share Posted June 15, 2000 So you are saying that you really want a girl who hangs around a lot with her ex boyfriend...and lies to you about it. This sounds like the ideal girl who would make you happy forever...if you like girls who like other guys and who lie to you. Yes, you are confused. You need to spend time studying the qualities of potential mates that will make you happy. There is no way someone who still likes her ex, spends time with him, and lies to you about it is going to make you happy...unless you are a true masochist and you care absolutely nothing for yourself. Be a man and ditch this lady. She isn't even a good friend. She is using your butt as a stand by in case things don't work out with her ex. And even if things don't work out and she takes up with you, she would dump you the second she found someone else she really liked. YUK!!! Link to post Share on other sites
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