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Annd i totally screwed up


4givrnt4gtr

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...but honestly, it was coming and we both saw it from a million miles away.

 

Ive posted here about my "friend". We've been friends for 5 years, and though sometimes i wondered from the begining whether he kinda liked me I usually shrugged it off, especially since our friendship was based on me helping him with his girlfriends and him helping me with my boyfriends.

 

In any case, last year I had broken up with my bf. My friend was then living in a city far away. When i told him I was single he called me a few days later and told me he was breaking up with his gf and moving back. I thought it was a strange coincidence but again i ignored it. A few weeks later at a party we got drunk and ended up falling asleep spooning. We had never done that before but I thought it was just cuz we were both lonely and on the rebound. A week later we went out again and this time we ended up making out, big time.

I freaked out and told him i didnt want that, that I didnt want to lose him as a friends. etc etc. We didnt talk for a couple of weeks, in which time I got back with my ex boyfriend and eventually I told him we just couldnt be friends.

However, not too long after that I felt i had made a mistake, so i broke it off with my bf and tried to reconnect with my friend. At first he wanted nothing to do with me but eventually, a few months later, he came back around.

By this time i was already in another relationship with a guy i really really loved. I accepted his friendship but i kept it at arms lenght. Now, recently my bf left me and coincidentally my friend had also broken up with a girl he really cared about. So we started doing what we do best and helped each other get over the exs by talking and encouraging each other to avoid talking to them etc.

 

I thought everything had returned to normal, but i still had a sense that if given the chance, we would hook up again......

 

Well the chance was given last Friday. I think we both knew that, we knew that if we hanged out alone, had a few drinks, it would break hell lose. I even noticed he was really really nervous when he came to pick me up, but i was so sure i just want him as a friend that I would be able to control myself.

 

Well, not so much. After a few drinks and deciding we wanted to watch a movie at my place, we started making out and eventually we ended up having sex.

 

Awesome.

 

Now i dont know how to proceed. The morning after was so awkward we didnt even talk as we got ready and he left. I know I could never date him, as he just isnt someone i can see myself with. I honestly dont know why am I so physically attracted to him all of a sudden, but I do know that other than that I have no feelings for him.

 

We didnt talk at all over the weekend, but today he sent me a chat, like nothing had happened. I played along with it, but its so weird, like the pink elephant in the room we are ignoring.

 

Oh btw, when I told him we couldnt be friends last year he asked me if i had feelings for him. I said no and I returned the question. He didnt actually answer it but then he later he told me he just saw me as a confidant, nothing more.

 

So....what in the world do I do now??? Im also moving away in 6 months, I am tempted to just ignore him and avoid him til i leave...though i know thats not the mature way to handle things...

 

any help please please would be really appreciated. So very freaking confused.

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I would just play it cool and try to go back to being friends.

 

It's not really your fault, I read in another thread here that movie nights almost always end in sex so you really had no choice. :D

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lol! movie nights almost always end in sex...haha thats funny and good to take note of.

 

However, with this guy, if it had been the first time I think i could pretend it didnt happen....but its the second time, and I really dont want to end up in a FWB situation. I just dont do that.

 

When it happened I felt like i had two choices, date him or end our friendship for good. Given that dating him would be a disaster, the second option seems the more plausible....only, I feel horrible about it.

 

Ughhh UGHHHH why do i get myself in these messes!!!!!

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I would just play it cool and try to go back to being friends.

 

It's not really your fault, I read in another thread here that movie nights almost always end in sex so you really had no choice. :D

 

HAHAHA! so true. a bunch of my friends and I used to actually call sex "watching movies" as a code. so we would say did you watch movies with so and so last night.

 

I guess we weren't the only ones who figured this out.

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