I just Crashed and Burned

[DenverBachelor]

I just ran into the ground like a Mig 21 doing Mach 2.1 right into the Earth. As a matter of fact, no man or woman on this board will ever in the history of **** ups be able to claim they crashed harder than me.

 

I spent a half hour on the phone with her pouring my heart out. Then, after not getting very far, I sent her an e-mail stating that I loved her to death and hoped we could reconcile. I believe I sent the e-mail because I already realized it was fruitless and once you come to terms with the impossible, you're willing to dive into an empty pool and then laugh after you wake up in the hospital (if you wake up?).

 

So, for all you good people out there -- no matter how much you screw up a chance of reconciliation, you will NEVER -- and I mean EVER -- come close to going out with the style and class I did. I mean I just rammed into the ground like an asteroid hell-bent in destroying the Earth.

 

So rejoice in knowing that -- out of all the "reconciliation" rules out there. You will never break any of them as horribly as I have tonight.

 

BUT .... I laid my heart out in the middle of the road and I'm good with that. So many cars will drive right over it but, in the end, I can say with enthusiasm, "Screw it -- She knows exactly how I feel and that's all I need to know."

 

I await the aftermath -- even though in the e-mail I said, "You need not reply."

 

Oh just wait for the juicy reply I get. It will make your life seem all the better.

 

Over and out! Don't ever send an e-mail or call someone when you are drunk. The amount of carnage from this will be nothing short of astro-****ing-nomical.

 

This will rank up there with supernova explosions. You all have a front-row seat. So get comfortable, order popcorn and await the follow-up. You will absolutely LOVE seeing how good your chances become after comparing them to mine. (What's that between slim and none? Oh wait? What's that between none and ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR ****ING MIND?)

Edited December 2, 2009 by DenverBachelor

[Art_Critic]

2 things..

 

1). I thought you quit drinking ?

 

2). NC will save you some heartache

 

No new contacts = no new hurts

 

It honestly sounds to me that you need to pull yourself into control right now.. you're out of control..

 

Can you take a vacation ?.. even if for a few days ?

[DenverBachelor]

Here is the e-mail to her. Take notes on WHAT NOT TO DO:

 

I enjoyed our talk tonight. It was good to hear your voice. I'm glad

that you said you were happy and not having any nightmares. I just

want you to know that you were a huge part of my life and that I had

hoped you missed me, too -- but apparently that wasn't that case. I

guess I was looking for a glimmer of hope that we could rebuild our

friendship and move forward slowly. I don't know why, but I always

felt that we were meant for each other and that life would throw us

huge challenges but we would overcome them. I want you to know that,

in my heart, you will always be the most amazing woman in my life and

that, in my soul, I feel as though we could move slowly together

forward into the future. I want you to know that I will always love

you and miss you and I will always treasure the time we spent

together. Seeing you come home each night was such an amazing thing.

You will always be in my heart and I will forever love you to pieces.

I wish we could have had the chance to reconcile but that doesn't

appear to be something you want.

 

I will always love you and treasure every moment that we spent

together. I am spilling out my heart to you and it is you that I

would want to go to San Francisco with. I know that by sending this,

I am ending any chance of ever really moving forward with you. But be

it as it may, I am what I am and I'd rather speak my heart than let it

go into silence. I will always hold you close to my soul and I will

always say a prayer each night for you. You have always been, and

always shall be, the woman I wanted to walk to the end of life with.

So with that, I send this to you as a reminder of how deep my love,

compassion and admiration for you is. It won't change anything, but

at least I can say -- "screw it, I put my heart out on the road and

I'm not ashamed for doing so."

 

Know this -- I will always love you more than anything. There isn't a

day or night that goes by where I don't think of your safety,

happiness or well-being.

 

You will always be the most amazing woman in my life.

 

And with all this, there is no need to reply. I know where your heart

stands -- but I just needed to let you know where mine stood.

 

I put it in the middle of the road on purpose. Because life is too

short to hold back your feelings and it was something I didn't do

enough when I was with you.

 

 

 

There is no need to reply. Just know where my heart stood and that I

wanted so desperately to rebuild with you.

 

Love,

[COLOR=#888888]Jason[/COLOR]

[sean1970]

I just ran into the ground like a Mig 21 doing Mach 2.1 right into the Earth. As a matter of fact, no man or woman on this board will ever in the history of **** ups be able to claim they crashed harder than me.

 

I spent a half hour on the phone with her pouring my heart out. Then, after not getting very far, I sent her an e-mail stating that I loved her to death and hoped we could reconcile. I believe I sent the e-mail because I already realized it was fruitless and once you come to terms with the impossible, you're willing to dive into an empty pool and then laugh after you wake up in the hospital (if you wake up?).

 

So, for all you good people out there -- no matter how much you screw up a chance of reconciliation, you will NEVER -- and I mean EVER -- come close to going out with the style and class I did. I mean I just rammed into the ground like an asteroid hell-bent in destroying the Earth.

 

So rejoice in knowing that -- out of all the "reconciliation" rules out there. You will never break any of them as horribly as I have tonight.

 

BUT .... I laid my heart out in the middle of the road and I'm good with that. So many cars will drive right over it but, in the end, I can say with enthusiasm, "Screw it -- She knows exactly how I feel and that's all I need to know."

 

I await the aftermath -- even though in the e-mail I said, "You need not reply."

 

Oh just wait for the juicy reply I get. It will make your life seem all the better.

 

Over and out! Don't ever send an e-mail or call someone when you are drunk. The amount of carnage from this will be nothing short of astro-****ing-nomical.

 

 

Dude... Ill raise your carnage with 1 genocide and 3 train wrecks... Ive been there... Lots of us have... Sucks, and its going to suck more later...

 

You want to talk on the phone..? Really.

[Art_Critic]

Each time you contact her with that mushy/bleeding heart stuff you just reinforce to her in her mind the reasons you guys are no longer together..

 

You need cut her out of your mind for a while and get your head wrapped around the idea that things are over... at least in the near future.

 

Please don't contact her anymore.. post her..

 

We will talk you out if it.. I swear...

[jerbear]

We will talk you out if it.. I swear...

 

That is true! Folks of LS can do that sometimes.

[DenverBachelor]

Dude... Ill raise your carnage with 1 genocide and 3 train wrecks... Ive been there... Lots of us have... Sucks, and its going to suck more later...

 

You want to talk on the phone..? Really.

 

Sure, I'll talk on the phone. This isn't 1 genocide and three train-wrecks. This is a volcano exploding over a major city and bathing everyone in that oh-so-hot lava.

 

But whatever. That's my last e-mail and I'm done. I just needed to seal the deal in my head. That's it. I'm not sure if you can relate -- but in my mind, ramming it into the sand as hard as possible is the best way to say, "Well **** it, it's over with."

 

I guess I was tired of having loose strings dangling. I guess I was tired of what if's. So some wild-ass hair in my brain went off and said, "****, if you can't finish it, I will -- and BAM. It was done."

 

So that's it and I'm great. No more "possbilities." No more "wondering what this meant, what that meant." I just pounded sand hard.

[sean1970]

Sure, I'll talk on the phone. This isn't 1 genocide and three train-wrecks. This is a volcano exploding over a major city and bathing everyone in that oh-so-hot lava.

 

magnumpci at hotmail D0t com if you want to dig out of Pompeii eMail me and Ill send you my number.

[fofiffs]

I just ran into the ground like a Mig 21 doing Mach 2.1 right into the Earth. As a matter of fact, no man or woman on this board will ever in the history of **** ups be able to claim they crashed harder than me.

 

I spent a half hour on the phone with her pouring my heart out. Then, after not getting very far, I sent her an e-mail stating that I loved her to death and hoped we could reconcile. I believe I sent the e-mail because I already realized it was fruitless and once you come to terms with the impossible, you're willing to dive into an empty pool and then laugh after you wake up in the hospital (if you wake up?).

 

So, for all you good people out there -- no matter how much you screw up a chance of reconciliation, you will NEVER -- and I mean EVER -- come close to going out with the style and class I did. I mean I just rammed into the ground like an asteroid hell-bent in destroying the Earth.

 

So rejoice in knowing that -- out of all the "reconciliation" rules out there. You will never break any of them as horribly as I have tonight.

 

BUT .... I laid my heart out in the middle of the road and I'm good with that. So many cars will drive right over it but, in the end, I can say with enthusiasm, "Screw it -- She knows exactly how I feel and that's all I need to know."

 

I await the aftermath -- even though in the e-mail I said, "You need not reply."

 

Oh just wait for the juicy reply I get. It will make your life seem all the better.

 

Over and out! Don't ever send an e-mail or call someone when you are drunk. The amount of carnage from this will be nothing short of astro-****ing-nomical.

 

This will rank up there with supernova explosions. You all have a front-row seat. So get comfortable, order popcorn and await the follow-up. You will absolutely LOVE seeing how good your chances become after comparing them to mine. (What's that between slim and none? Oh wait? What's that between none and ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR ****ING MIND?)

 

 

I beg to differ. I've been where you were. Crashed and burned like you did, Spilled my heart out to her, Sent her emails, drove to her house in the middle of the night, sent flowers, paid for her traffic ticket, became the doormat while she was with the new guy, failed couple classes cuz of the depression, mmmm I could think of so much more pathetic things I did. So what I'm saying is you are not the only one that's felt like that.

 

Well but here I am 9 months later and I got through that perfect storm your in at the moment. Just don't give up you will make it. There is a light at the other side. Once you come out of that storm you will be a better man. I can honestly say i'm happier now than what I felt like before. I don't feel like the same person I was before but I think i'm a better version of the old me. So don't give up hope..

[DenverBachelor]

So don't give up hope..

 

Oh, I know I will heal. I'm just referring to blowing any chance of reconciliation out of the water. Scorched Earth and all.

[TheLoneSock]

Here is the e-mail to her. Take notes on WHAT NOT TO DO:

 

I enjoyed our talk tonight. It was good to hear your voice. I'm glad

that you said you were happy and not having any nightmares. I just

want you to know that you were a huge part of my life and that I had

hoped you missed me, too -- but apparently that wasn't that case. I

guess I was looking for a glimmer of hope that we could rebuild our

friendship and move forward slowly. I don't know why, but I always

felt that we were meant for each other and that life would throw us

huge challenges but we would overcome them. I want you to know that,

in my heart, you will always be the most amazing woman in my life and

that, in my soul, I feel as though we could move slowly together

forward into the future. I want you to know that I will always love

you and miss you and I will always treasure the time we spent

together. Seeing you come home each night was such an amazing thing.

You will always be in my heart and I will forever love you to pieces.

I wish we could have had the chance to reconcile but that doesn't

appear to be something you want.

 

I will always love you and treasure every moment that we spent

together. I am spilling out my heart to you and it is you that I

would want to go to San Francisco with. I know that by sending this,

I am ending any chance of ever really moving forward with you. But be

it as it may, I am what I am and I'd rather speak my heart than let it

go into silence. I will always hold you close to my soul and I will

always say a prayer each night for you. You have always been, and

always shall be, the woman I wanted to walk to the end of life with.

So with that, I send this to you as a reminder of how deep my love,

compassion and admiration for you is. It won't change anything, but

at least I can say -- "screw it, I put my heart out on the road and

I'm not ashamed for doing so."

 

Know this -- I will always love you more than anything. There isn't a

day or night that goes by where I don't think of your safety,

happiness or well-being.

 

You will always be the most amazing woman in my life.

 

And with all this, there is no need to reply. I know where your heart

stands -- but I just needed to let you know where mine stood.

 

I put it in the middle of the road on purpose. Because life is too

short to hold back your feelings and it was something I didn't do

enough when I was with you.

 

 

 

There is no need to reply. Just know where my heart stood and that I

wanted so desperately to rebuild with you.

 

Love,

--------

 

Satisfied yet? Or do you need to hurt yourself some more?

 

I knew you'd be posting again, I just didn't think it would be like this.

 

You know that joke that people play when they grab someone's hand and make the person hit themself with it, while gleefully and repeatedly saying "Quit hittin' yourself, quit hittin' yourself!"?

 

That's totally what's happening here, except no one is making you do it, so...

 

Quit hitting yourself. K?

[fofiffs]

Oh, I know I will heal. I'm just referring to blowing any chance of reconciliation out of the water. Scorched Earth and all.

 

yeah I know, but the best remedy for healing is NC. I learned it the hard way too like you have. But I got to a point where I had enough. And as hard as it was I stuck to NC and it really worked out for me. I lost count on how many months I've been NC. I haven't even thought about it in so long..

[DenverBachelor]

That's totally what's happening here, except no one is making you do it, so...

 

Quit hitting yourself. K?

 

Well I guess a part of my brain wanted to crash it into the ground because I was getting tired of the what if's and the "might haves" ... I just looked at it like hammering the final nail into the coffin. Some part of my brain just snapped and said, "ok, you've had your time, now we're moving in to take care of it."

 

That's pretty much it. I'm not going to contact her ever again unless she contacts me. I'm just glad I put it all out there and then stepped off. Because the best thing about that is -- it's not like I didn't lay it on the line and had stuff open to chance -- no matter how slim the chance ever was.

[Ingenue]

At some point, all of us crash and burn. I went strict NC for 6 months with my ex and when I (foolishly) thought myself strong enough, I allowed a conversation with him. In that conversation I found out that he cheated on me, that he wasn't the man I valorised him to be and that he had no remorse for dumping me by email after 5 years together; he just was sad that we weren't friends anymore. It hit me hard. After being okay for close to 5 months, I suddenly found myself sobbing all over again. I could barely catch my breath. I could not even formulate sentences to my friends and I went through a mountain of tissues. At the time, I honestly thought that I was "relapsing". But after 2 days of hard gut wrenching, body wracking crying, I found my closure and I let it all go. For me I needed to crash before I could move on. When I mentally made the decision to move on, I was okay after that.

 

You will get to a point where one day you'll be completely indifferent to your ex. You just might need to stumble and fall a bit before finding your footing again. You will find your own footing.

[McGrupp]

not to take away from that email, but ill raise you 4 of those, add a cursing barrage via text at 7am and also a forced meetup complete with pleading, tears and me paying for dinner.

 

ill bet you contact her again. its never enough for dudes like us.

[TheLoneSock]

Well I guess a part of my brain wanted to crash it into the ground because I was getting tired of the what if's and the "might haves" ... I just looked at it like hammering the final nail into the coffin. Some part of my brain just snapped and said, "ok, you've had your time, now we're moving in to take care of it."

 

That's pretty much it. I'm not going to contact her ever again unless she contacts me. I'm just glad I put it all out there and then stepped off. Because the best thing about that is -- it's not like I didn't lay it on the line and had stuff open to chance -- no matter how slim the chance ever was.

 

Any chance you might have had was blown to smitherenes with the first email you sent her. You had been told not to do anything else in order to preserve your own feelings.

 

You may have been trying to avoid regret by 'laying it all on the line', but doing that in the first place is what condemned any chance of reconciliation. That's a fact. I just want you to see that, so you never do that with a girl ever again. As long as you can look back on this situation and learn from it, it's not in vain.

 

If you genuinely feel good now that you've got all that out of your system, cool. Just understand the effect that everything that you have said or done has had on the situation.

[j_cali_man]

Denver, I can't let you take credit for your horrendous plane crash because I did the same damn thing with the call on Thanksgiving that lasted over an hour (late late night) and THEN (as if that wasn't damaging enough) a pathetic letter (email) that she forwarded to her best friend who in turn made fun of it- I received no response. In fact, there was a response. She changed her cell number. I knew better. I read these forums. I totally broke NC and had a meltdown of meltdowns. i was in a A380 Superjumbo with 500+ aboard and knew it was pointless and almost didn't care...so broke NC.

 

Stupid mistake.

 

I feel your pain man... I have a ton of more reading and getting my life back to do. It's sick but it was almost a twisted way for attention even if it was negative. So, got what I intended in a backwards sort of way.

 

Anyways, started reading "No More Mr Nice Guy" last night.

 

Onward and upward

 

J

[McGrupp]

computers suck

 

and i think we should make a book or something, like a pamphlet given to all males 18+ when the graduate HS on what not to do after a breakup.

 

i had no idea till i came here

Edited December 2, 2009 by McGrupp

[DenverBachelor]

Thank you for flying Dumpees Airline. This is your captain speaking. Unfortunately, we'll be coming up a little short of our destination. I've been having second thoughts about how to fly this airplane and have come up with the idea of just taking her straight down.

 

Please put your seats in the upright position and secure your trays. It may be a little bumpy on the way down but I assure you that the landing will be quick and painless.

 

Thank you for flying Dumpees Airline and we look forward to flying your ex next time.

[name witheld]

interesting. I have been thinking of bringing things up with my one, wouldn't have gotten as mushy, would have been more along the lines of "I think we have had a lot of misunderstanding" leading to letting her know I had always wanted the same things as her (eg I'm pretty sure she left cos she thought i didn't want/wasn't ready for kids soon enough).

 

Anyways you have helped me avoid a similar situation, at least until she brings it up.

 

So I thank you and sorry for your pain but it sounds like you weren't right for each other.

[threebyfate]

Here's a thread that greatly exemplifies the glaring difference between men and women.

 

For the men, it's all about pride/ego and holding onto your nutsack. This is tantamount, over any opportunity towards a second chance.

 

Here's one woman's view:

1. If she still loves you, she'll fold like a cheap suit after reading an email like that.
   
2. If she still loves you but is convinced the two of you aren't compatible, she'll hold to her guns, for you to move on.
   
3. If she's a bitch, she'll keep you hanging on for perpetuity.
   
4. If she's a bitch, she might cheat with you, while still holding onto the other guy.
   
5. If she's more invested in the other guy, she'll shut you down.
   

No risk, no return. Which bullet chamber will be empty or full?

[EricaH329]

I am convinced that after becoming intoxicated, computers and phones should be completely off limits.

 

All of the dumb, stupid things that i've regretted doing have been because of that same reason.

 

I am right there with ya.

[DustySaltus]

All phones and computers need to be equppied with a breathelyzer between the hours of 9pm-7am 7 days a week. You blow a .18.....sober up!

[EricaH329]

All phones and computers need to be equppied with a breathelyzer between the hours of 9pm-7am 7 days a week. You blow a .18.....sober up!

 

Omg that's SUCH a good idea!! I'm thinking 24/7 though, sometimes my friends want to get a little crazy and start drinking super early.

[threebyfate]

An interesting perspective for point #6, Erica and DustySaltus.

 

6. If she believes you were under the influence of anything, she might just write off the email, as meaningless. I've done that before and not even bothered responding.