My situation I guess you can call it

[shrdfst]

So let me start by saying I am 24 years old, not crazy, not perverted and have developed a weird relationship with a 17 year old girl.

 

I met her 2 years ago when I was 22 and she was 15. She was dating an 18 year old friend of mine. I felt awkward at first that we got along so well, she was easy to talk to, did not really have any interests the average 15 year old girl has and seemed mature for her age.

 

She broke up with my friend after she got really frustrated with him for many reasons I found out later [one of them being she always asked my friend if he could get me to come over and he would get way jealous and mad at her] and stopped seeing him. Shortly after that she somehow got my number and started calling me wanting to hang out.

 

I felt kinda weird about it at first hanging out with her, I had never really had a girl who I would call a pretty close friend and just that [i was always very shy, did not have a girlfriend until I was 21]. It felt weird having a 16 year old fill that void as "just a friend" but it was cool. Because of her age I figured it not develop into anything serious and we could just kick it every now and than.

 

So I started hanging out with her. Now more than a year and a half later we've become best friends. We hang out almost everyday, go to movies together, go out to eat all the time [i'll cook too], share lots of the same interests [skateboarding, racing cars] and go on lots of trips together. I've become good friends with her dad and mom too. Occasionally we joke around that we are married.

 

Thing is it's only been a friendship. We've both dated other people while we've been friends. But I know she is attracted to me, and I am very attracted to her [we've kinda talked about it] and I am not sure how to handle it anymore. We have argued/fought almost like a couple at times but always come to a resolution. Friends and family members constantly bother us if we're a couple yet. I've never even kissed her though. We sit close to each other on the couch sometimes and aside from a hug goodbye on occasion that's the closest contact we've had.

 

I've always kept my head on straight about wanting to show her how I really feel because I want to wait until she is #1- 18 [4 months away], and #2- more mature which might take more time than #1.

 

The reason that might take more time is because I can tell right now she is trying to make me jealous by being flirty with other guys. She'll talk crap about how dumb they are and how desperate they have to act to get her attention [while it takes nothing for me]. She wanted me to hang out the other night and I go over there and she's with this guy she broke up with months ago who constantly wants to get back with her [she ignores him 99% of the time] so I go over there and she's giving him a backrub on the couch but she was staring right at me most of the time.

 

It's gotten hard for me though as of late, at this point it's hard for me to date anyone else or even get interested because I've become too attached to her but I don't know how to take the signs she keeps giving me as immaturity that should make me turn away or that I am not doing enough or something.

 

So what should I do? Wait? Clear the air with her now? Permanently file her as just a friend?

 

Thanks for bearing with me

Edited December 2, 2009 by shrdfst

[Denamarie]

I don't think age is a problem at all. I know there is the legality behind it since she is still a minor, but you are being very respectful and waiting until she is 18. plus, you have the support of family.

 

I am more concerned with her level of maturity and why you are so attracted to her if she is acting like this. Do you think you can be in a relationship with her?

 

I believe there are two phases in a relationship- an obsessive stage, which is not a bad stage at all. This is a stage where everything the other person does is just so cute and amazing and you can't get enough of eachother.

 

Then there is the true relationship/ committed phase which comes after this obsessive stage which is where communications, compromise blah blah blah...you know that commitment stuff comes in. A lot of couples (especially when one or both is young) don't make it past the obsessive stage.

 

The way she is acting makes me wonder if she is capable of actually handling a relationship....

 

I think before you get into a relationship (or even start seeing her) a few things need to be made clear and the thing with the back rub and the ex...ya, no. where I live we say "no bueno" =-)

 

you sound like such a sweetheart I hope that you figure things out and not settle for just anyone.

 

-good luck