chrisanderson Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 Ok, so my gf's parents got divorced 3 months ago. She took it hard; VERY hard. Day after day she would discuss how it hurt her so bad that they were seperated. Of course I was there to comfort and empathize with her. Anyhow, a little over a month ago I saw her dad at the mall with a woman. Her father and I caught eyes and I went over to say hello. I was awkwardly introduced to his "gf".. In conversation he said that he would tell her "when the time was right". My response was "yes, definitely".. I didn't plan on telling her as I don't involve myself in family affairs and other people's business, but I guess it was his way to ensure I kept mum. Fast forward to this weekend her dad takes her out and introduces the woman to her. Now the kicker.. The woman said to her: "Oh, nice to finally meet you, I've heard so much about you. And I've met your boyfriend, he's very pleasant"... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! LOL So now all I'm hearing is how I'm deceitful and unloyal and not a real life partner. She's even gone as far as saying this is really making her question the relationship altogether. In her words: "this is something very BIG and I should have let her know immediately". I've explained to her how I didnt and still dont feel it was my place to say anything. Also he specifically said that he would let her know when the time was right... In no way was I going to blab business that didn't involve me. So my question is.. AM I WRONG?? Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
craig841 Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 AM I WRONG?? Thanks No. If you need a better answer...you're right in that it isn't your place, and therefore are acting correctly in staying out of the matter and letting her find out for herself. It's her family, and aorn you are not part of that family, therefore it's none of your business. She's prolly just stressed out about it all and has found someone convenient to blame for this stressiness. She'll calm down eventually, and if she doesn't then you need to talk to her again. Link to post Share on other sites
WTRanger Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 It simply wasn't your place to tell her. That was between her dad and her. Doing so would have violated her dad's trust in you. So really, you are screwed either way. She's over-stressed so she will be very touchy emotionally. You are just going to have to ride this one out and try, try to talk to her in a normal manner. Just keep a level head if she flies off the handle at you. Link to post Share on other sites
jerseyboy Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 IM sorry but Im with her. I absolutely see why you didnt, and it was the worst of situations. There were no good answers to that dilemna. I would of told her dad I cant make that promise without breaking her trust in me. If you want me to wait a few days so you can tell her yourself, thats fine. And if I have your word youll actually do it. But Im her bf, not your friend Link to post Share on other sites
Author chrisanderson Posted December 4, 2009 Author Share Posted December 4, 2009 IM sorry but Im with her. I absolutely see why you didnt, and it was the worst of situations. There were no good answers to that dilemna. I would of told her dad I cant make that promise without breaking her trust in me. If you want me to wait a few days so you can tell her yourself, thats fine. And if I have your word youll actually do it. But Im her bf, not your friend Ok, I see where you're coming from, so how about this.. Two years ago while on a fishing trip with her dad he told me about having a another child with a woman before marrying my gf's mom and I know for a fact my gf does not know anything about this... She would probably disown her dad if she knew. Now it kills me that she doesn't know but I've pushed it in the back of my mind and told myself it isn't my place to mention anything like that... I do plan on marrying this girl, have been together for 7 years.. Should I speak up or stay mum? Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
D-Lish Posted December 4, 2009 Share Posted December 4, 2009 It wasn't your place to tell your gf this. What the hell is wrong with the father that he places these kinds of burdens on you? He's an adult- he should know better. I find it hard to believe he would disclose such a major piece of information to you that would blow his family apart should it come out. Link to post Share on other sites
Jerseyboy. Posted December 4, 2009 Share Posted December 4, 2009 Ok, I see where you're coming from, so how about this.. Two years ago while on a fishing trip with her dad he told me about having a another child with a woman before marrying my gf's mom and I know for a fact my gf does not know anything about this... She would probably disown her dad if she knew. Now it kills me that she doesn't know but I've pushed it in the back of my mind and told myself it isn't my place to mention anything like that... I do plan on marrying this girl, have been together for 7 years.. Should I speak up or stay mum? Thanks Two years later lol You better hope he never tells her you knew. Forget saying it now. Link to post Share on other sites
Author chrisanderson Posted December 4, 2009 Author Share Posted December 4, 2009 (edited) I find it hard to believe he would disclose such a major piece of information to you that would blow his family apart should it come out. I agree.. When it used to consume my mind I questioned the possibility of him simply wanting it known and him trying to use me as his outlet. I don't know but I'm guessing this is one I should keep to myself Edited December 4, 2009 by chrisanderson Link to post Share on other sites
boogieboy Posted December 5, 2009 Share Posted December 5, 2009 Youwerent wrong. For now, she is just highly emotional, leave her alone for a while. Youve been together 7 years, shes not going anywhere. Shes letting her emotions get the best of her, she will come to her senses soon. Just leave her be. give her some space, let her miss you. Link to post Share on other sites
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