G/F upset that i was not Jelous

[SomeGuyKyo]

My girlfriend and i have been dating for a little more then 2 months and we goto university together but live in different towns. We are about 2 hours apart, and as it is chirstmas break we are not to gether. A little while ago she told me that she was going to go with one of her friends (who happens to be a guy) shopping and to the airport. The day before she went she was talking about how she was all worried and afraid to go, and she though that something bad may happen, and really did not want to go anymore, but would feel bad selling out the friend so went anyways. Today i talked to her after she got back from her trip, and we talked a little and it came up that she wanted to know if i was jelous of her seeing/being with him, and the honesty truth was that i was not jelous. Now the truth is that i care so very much for her, infact there are times where i may even think that i love her, but with that i have a huge amount of trust in her and i am not worried that she will cheat. And there is so much that she has said that i trust that there is no way that it could happen.

 

Now when i said that i was not worried and not jelous she became a little upset, and worried that maybe i did not care. Now i do know that her last boyfriend was a real a**h*** who cheated on her and was extememly jelous, so i know why she thinks thats the way i should feel. Another thing that she said that really sort of made me worry was that today she told me the reason she was worried about going was becuse she felt bad about doing it, and then she said the whole time she was out with him she felt she was doing something wrong. Another thing, was that she said maybe in time my feeling would change and stuff like that would bother me. BUt to me that makes no sence, i would think that in time i would grow to trust her more and for that reason would be much less likely to worry about anything bad happening.

 

I was just sort of wondering:

Should i have felt some jelousy?

Am i making a mistake by having this much trust in her?

What can i do to try and assure her that i do care, i tell her all the time, but what can i do in this situation to show that me not being jelous has no baring on my fellings for her? (well only in a positive sence in that me not being jelous shows how much i really care and trust her)

What should i say, how should i discuss it?

[FreeMe]

It sounds like she's equating jealousy with love, i.e., the more jealous you are, the more you must love her. Of course, that is a compltely wrong. I think maybe you should explain to her that jealousy is not an indicator of love. Get her a book on jealousy or suggest she go to a counselor for a session or two. She needs to get that idea out of her head as soon as possible.

[jmargel]

She has to understand everyone is different. However if I told my gf I was going out w/ another chick, and she wasn't somewhat jealous I would be kinda hurt in someways. I mean my gf wants us to have a 3 some w/ another chick, and I asked her 'Wouldnt you be jealous seeing me with another woman?'. She looked at me, and said 'No, I have no problem sharing you'. In one way its like "Woohoo, every guy's fantasy', yet on the other hand I think 'Is something wrong, that she could think this way?'. My ex-fiancee was a jealous one so I can see her side of things.

 

Next time that happens, don't tell her you are jealous, but that you wish it couldve been you spending time with her instead of him. That'll make her feel a little more comfortable.

[someguykyo]

thats what i suspected, i dont know, it so hard to know what to do in situations like this, i guess girls just arnt used to nice guys.

 

Thanks for the advice.

[moimeme]

No, it's just that we get marked by some of our relationships; sort of 'trained'. So now she seems to think that jealousy is an important part of love where perhaps she did not before.