Worried about NC / LC

[Kantor]

Leave her alone.

 

Perhaps, not exactly the answer I was looking for.. well maybe with a little more context.

 

Like many other have said, there is so much more to be said, I just dont know how to do it.

[sean1970]

Like many other have said, there is so much more to be said, I just dont know how to do it.

 

You text, she did not answer, do I have the gist of it?

[Kantor]

You text, she did not answer, do I have the gist of it?

 

Kind of, that was the end result.

 

Initially she began texting right back.

 

What I'm considering is doing some decent thinking today and this evening being honest, letting my guard down, and telling her how I really feel.

 

Even if she doesn't respond she'll know where I stand and I'll have the closure to move on if that's not what she wants anymore.

[Brightmoon]

.....being honest, letting my guard down, and telling her how I really feel.

 

Even if she doesn't respond she'll know where I stand and I'll have the closure to move on if that's not what she wants anymore.

 

I think that is what you need to do Kantor...to be honest... tell her how you feel, even if the only way is via text. You won't have any regrets that when you have done that.

 

Good luck.

[Kantor]

I think that is what you need to do Kantor...to be honest... tell her how you feel, even if the only way is via text. You won't have any regrets that when you have done that.

 

Good luck.

 

This is exactly what I did and am so glad I did.

Even if I wasn't able to deliver the message the way I wanted to.

Hopefully she will at least read it :/

 

Either way my cards are on the table, whether I win or lose the hand I've played my final card.

 

I can move on with my life knowing I am holding nothing back.

 

I can breath again!

 

I know there will still be hard days ahead but I'll know that even though my actions resulted in our situation, my actions will get me through these tough times regardless of the outcome.

 

Thanks LS, if anyone else has tips or advice post up I still need all the help I can get

[muse08]

This is exactly what I did and am so glad I did.

Even if I wasn't able to deliver the message the way I wanted to.

Hopefully she will at least read it :/

 

Either way my cards are on the table, whether I win or lose the hand I've played my final card.

 

I can move on with my life knowing I am holding nothing back.

 

I can breath again!

 

I know there will still be hard days ahead but I'll know that even though my actions resulted in our situation, my actions will get me through these tough times regardless of the outcome.

 

Thanks LS, if anyone else has tips or advice post up I still need all the help I can get

 

I'm sooo glad we could help Kantor!

 

You must be feelig 10 times better. Although someone may not respond right away, when you're HONEST you free yourself. Holding back only harbors fear and fear is not what anyone needs and it will NOT get an ex back.

[muse08]

In certain situations some people will not even read or listen to messages. I have been guilty of that, only b/c my ex keeps calling and texting almost every day. But when I'd respond to him and give him attention, he would deliberately set me up and not follow through with his attempt to see me and continue calling and texting me like he's lost his mind. He's still doing it...and I'm still erasing his messages b4 listening ONLY b/c his convinced me that he has a serious mental problem and/or obsession with nagging me.

 

So I'm just saying if you pull a stunt like that you can expect her not to read or listen to any of your messages b/c she will think you are full of sh*t.

[Kantor]

In certain situations some people will not even read or listen to messages. I have been guilty of that, only b/c my ex keeps calling and texting almost every day. But when I'd respond to him and give him attention, he would deliberately set me up and not follow through with his attempt to see me and continue calling and texting me like he's lost his mind. He's still doing it...and I'm still erasing his messages b4 listening ONLY b/c his convinced me that he has a serious mental problem and/or obsession with nagging me.

 

So I'm just saying if you pull a stunt like that you can expect her not to read or listen to any of your messages b/c she will think you are full of sh*t.

 

I don't think I'm any where near that point.

At least point if she acknolwged me and told me what she wanted I could easily walk away in each direction and be fine.

 

I just hope she'll acknowledge the message either way, but she probably won't.

[muse08]

I don't think I'm any where near that point.

At least point if she acknolwged me and told me what she wanted I could easily walk away in each direction and be fine.

 

I just hope she'll acknowledge the message either way, but she probably won't.

 

The good thing is that you have made yourself clearer than before. Kudos!

 

But let me ask you something. What made you feel she wanted to break up with you b4you decided to end it?

[Kantor]

The good thing is that you have made yourself clearer than before. Kudos!

 

But let me ask you something. What made you feel she wanted to break up with you b4you decided to end it?

 

Hmm never felt that way, this girl was the most compassionate and most caring girl I've dated to date.

 

My active avoidence wierded it's ugly head and I paniced and acted irrationally.

 

She loved me and wanted to be with me forever.

 

I thought I wanted that too, but got scared and now that I actually know it's too late.

 

The moral of the story is without this incident I would have never realize my faults and could not have taken the steps towards working thought them.

 

It's unfortunet I lost the one I wanted so badly as a result but I am a better person for it regardless of how much my heart yearns for her back.

 

I'm strong, I'll survive, it just might take some time.

 

I've got a good support net and a strong community here to not only help cope but to help better myself too.

[muse08]

Initiated the NC because I felt she needed space, she never asked for space, but I just got the feeling.

 

Sorry if I misquoted you, but I was referring to this above comment. You said you sensed she needed space...but I guess you were the one who needed space.

[Kantor]

The good thing is that you have made yourself clearer than before. Kudos!

 

But let me ask you something. What made you feel she wanted to break up with you b4you decided to end it?

 

Sorry if I misquoted you, but I was referring to this above comment. You said you sensed she needed space...but I guess you were the one who needed space.

 

Yes maybe you're right.

 

It's all over, for now. The power is all hers.

I'm here for her if she wants, as she should know if she read the texts.

 

If not, chalk it up to a life lesson and move on.

Nothing else I can do when she is in NC with me.

 

Time will tell

[Kantor]

So, many of you have followed me my story the last couple days and I am happy to say, until about 10 minutes ago I was doing very well.

 

I should add, she never responded to me, even after I asked the same night for a simple respond indicating she read what I said.

 

NOTHING.

 

Went out last night, one of my buddies mentioned that she got her nose pierced, saw it on her facebook.

 

I didn't care, didn't even think twice about it.

 

Until I'm on facebook today, she is chatting on the walls of one of my friends...

 

Now im not mad at my friend, think he commented on her status.

 

What i don't understand, is why would she post on his wall, where I WOULD SEE for sure.

 

Only thing I can think of is that she knows I'll see it and clearly is trying to hurt me even more.

 

Girl flat out ignores anything I have to say, but then does something like this... what am I suppose to think?

[Renesis13B]

^ I feel your pain..

My ex has done the same on facebook..

[kickintheaz]

So, many of you have followed me my story the last couple days and I am happy to say, until about 10 minutes ago I was doing very well.

 

I should add, she never responded to me, even after I asked the same night for a simple respond indicating she read what I said.

 

NOTHING.

 

Went out last night, one of my buddies mentioned that she got her nose pierced, saw it on her facebook.

 

I didn't care, didn't even think twice about it.

 

Until I'm on facebook today, she is chatting on the walls of one of my friends...

 

Now im not mad at my friend, think he commented on her status.

 

What i don't understand, is why would she post on his wall, where I WOULD SEE for sure.

 

Only thing I can think of is that she knows I'll see it and clearly is trying to hurt me even more.

 

Girl flat out ignores anything I have to say, but then does something like this... what am I suppose to think?

 

Kantor, you were doing well and this is a minor slip up.. don't beat yourself up..

 

facebook should be renamed 'painintheassbook' for people like us.. she could be playing games or innocently enough, if someone commented on one of her posts, she just replied not even thinking you'd see it.. (which may hurt ya but it could be true)..

 

pick yourself up, get off facebook and keep moving.. you are heading in the right direction.. you said in an earlier post the 'power is all in her hands now' I disagree, because I've been there ok.. and I realise now that the power is in MY hands... I have the power to change my life and move forward and so do you..I have the power to accept her back, IF she comes back saying all the right things, and I want it then

 

As to relationships, 'the person who has the power is the one who needs it the least'..

 

Ya gotta read back your positive posts and listen to yourself, you did what ya could, she rejected ya, its crappy, but its not the end of the world.. stop over analyzing things like this... it does you no good.. learning your lessons and moving on in yourself, fixing your emotions, and trying to regain who you were is the most important thing now.

 

NC is good, yeah maybe she'll miss ya the way I hope, on some level, that mine does, but look life isn't a movie, so be prepped for the worst case, that ya never hear from her.. time to get back onto the NC horse and ride... its the only way.. and you know you can do it, ya just gotta allow these little slip ups to happen, but deal with it then and there, park it and move on with your day...

 

if needs be, don't go near facebook for a few days... find something else to do, come on here, its a lot less depressing!!!

[Kantor]

You're right, thanks for the motivation.

 

She added to the pain last night, she initiated a conversation with a different friend.

 

You're right, I've done all I could its time to move on.

[Defiant]

I believe it is time to start no contact and start healing. You tried, but it is up to her now, and anything more that you do will only push her away further. Get rid of her Facebook....it is only gonna hurt you more. It could be worse bro, she could have hooked up with another guy. (My current situation, and it sux)

[muse08]

I understand how you may be feeling. However, LET'S TRY TO KEEP THINGS IN PERSPECTIVE, you broke up with her.

 

This would be worse if she broke up with you and ws STILL ignoring you (which is the situation with me and my ex). I broke up with him and I was the one who initiated NC for a while now b/c even after us discussing the unfair issues that existed (so he may be feeling worse than you right now) ,some things never change. You cant change people and that's often the lesson with breakups.

 

I assume there are some details that you have not told us and understandably so, but you should remember the things that may be playing a part in your situation. Not blaming you or her...Also remember that you broke up with her. Most of the time we break up with people for a reason...

 

She may still come around, but there are no guarantees.

[Brightmoon]

You're right, thanks for the motivation.

 

She added to the pain last night, she initiated a conversation with a different friend.

 

You're right, I've done all I could its time to move on.

I'm sorry things are not resolved in the way you want then Kantor.

But I am glad you told her what you wanted to. (((hugs)))

[Kantor]

Thanks Muse

 

You're right, there were things I wasn't thrilled about with her, but a relationship isn't perfect.

 

I was in the stage where you elevate someone to an almost goddess-like status.

 

I am in NC with her now, for my own good.

 

Plus she says the only time I try to talk to her "he's begging for me back"

 

So she'll have the space she wants, and I'll get the healing I need.

 

I still don't get why shes talking to my friends on facebook, can anyone explain the reasoning?

[Kantor]

I'm sorry things are not resolved in the way you want then Kantor.

But I am glad you told her what you wanted to. (((hugs)))

 

Thanks I need a big hug right now!

[puppydog]

Ugh. That sounds like something I went through also....just yesterday. My ex pretty much said everything your ex said. Trust me. I did what you did to my ex. I loved the guy but we had issues and I had some serious doubts (taking the next step towards future). I broke it off and came running back when I came to my senses (i was willing to wait it out) but by then he was too hurt/couldn't trust me. No second chances for me, but I'm okay with it.

 

Bottom line? It's time to move on. I know it's super hard to hear this, but you can't change her mind. Only she can come to the conclusion BY HERSELF to reach out to you....and in her own time...if ever. You'll only push her away even more if you keep contacting. If you withdraw all of a sudden and maintain NC, there's a chance she'll be curious about you at some point. Give her time to miss you.