DonTomaso Posted December 16, 2003 Share Posted December 16, 2003 A question for the ladies of loveshack... when you give your number to a guy, when do you expect him to call? If he does not call after, let's say 1 week, would you call him back? Link to post Share on other sites
jenny Posted December 16, 2003 Share Posted December 16, 2003 3-7 days, depending on the event in which we met. and i would not call him without being called first. i might email first, though, but it would probably be a pointless but funny forward, and only after a few weeks went by. if he did not call after 10 days, he was not interested. (this allows time for the shy) but he calls after that, (say a month) you know you are probably the second option for a date. Link to post Share on other sites
CostumeSmile Posted December 16, 2003 Share Posted December 16, 2003 If he doesn't call withing a week should you call him back? So I take you exchanged #'s and you've already spoken at least once b/c you used the term call him "back", in that case I don't see why you couldn't just call him and say "hi". Typically if I "exchange" #'s with a guy I wait for him to call 1st but if I really liked him and a week goes by w/ no call, I'll call him b/c you never know if he might have accidentally lost your # or something. From that 1st conversation I can usually tell though if he accidentally lost it or intentionally lost it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author DonTomaso Posted December 16, 2003 Author Share Posted December 16, 2003 Actually, in this case I waited 3 days and left a voicemail for her. This was the first time I called her. We did nt exchange numbers. I just got hers. I am just wondering if she would now wait a few days to call me back... playing the game so to speak. This seems like pretty standard behavior. Any comments? Link to post Share on other sites
CostumeSmile Posted December 16, 2003 Share Posted December 16, 2003 I can only speak for my self but if I was interested enough to give you my #, I would have returned that call soon after. I would think it rude not to, I mean what would I say 3 days later "Sorry got your msg. 3days ago but I was busy?" I wouldn't call her back. Link to post Share on other sites
Author DonTomaso Posted December 16, 2003 Author Share Posted December 16, 2003 I only called last night... so hopefully she'll call tonight... we'll see... Cutomesmile, by soon after, when do you mean? Link to post Share on other sites
Arabess Posted December 16, 2003 Share Posted December 16, 2003 She's probably going thru the same delimma Don....wondering how long she should wait to call you! New relationships are goofy that way!!! If she's familiar with your schedule, she'll probably call when she thinks you aren't working or in school. If you want to call her again....just call! Maybe the voicemail got messed up. Maybe she missed the number. Link to post Share on other sites
CostumeSmile Posted December 16, 2003 Share Posted December 16, 2003 If you left the msg last night well then she should call you today, tomorrow the latest but if not by then....faggetaboutit.... But...then again you never know, she may be out of town? You'll just have to wait and see, if she does call more than 2days later you'll just have to take notice to her reasoning for not calling sooner and if she offers none then this may be a sign as to the type of person she is. If I gave a guy my # and he left me a msg I would call him back if not the same night, the next day for sure but then again I don't play games. Link to post Share on other sites
jenny Posted December 16, 2003 Share Posted December 16, 2003 just to confuse you further, i would wait 3 days for a call back to an initial call. but weirdly, for me, waiting would indicate a greater interest and a desire to be seen by the caller as slightly unavalible. if he was just a buddy, though, i'd call back immediately. p.s. i should add i do play some games, but only because i'm a bit shy when i'm really interested. also i just don't really like talking on the phone that much. Link to post Share on other sites
Author DonTomaso Posted December 16, 2003 Author Share Posted December 16, 2003 Thanks Arabess. The beginning dating game is so funny like that. Stupid really, but I guess it's a necessary evil. Link to post Share on other sites
Author DonTomaso Posted December 16, 2003 Author Share Posted December 16, 2003 Thanks to Jenny and Custume as well! Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted December 16, 2003 Share Posted December 16, 2003 You also need to remember that some gals play by 'The Rules'. I believe there is a recommended time to wait before returning a call in them. I allow for any of the following (because they have all happened at one time or another): person got and then lost the number, person could not hear the number on the machine, person's machine died and they lost all the numbers (just happened to another friend of mine), person is out of town. So I will follow up with another call about a week later, but will not leave a message and instead try to get a genuine human the next time around. Link to post Share on other sites
sarah12 Posted December 16, 2003 Share Posted December 16, 2003 I'd do the same as CostumeSmile. I don't play games either. Link to post Share on other sites
WWDDFD Posted December 16, 2003 Share Posted December 16, 2003 Originally posted by jenny if he did not call after 10 days, he was not interested. (this allows time for the shy) but he calls after that, (say a month) you know you are probably the second option for a date. Maybe this is my problem? (background story) It took me a whole month to work up enough courage to call this girl back (I'm shy to a point where it's almost debilitating), and now all she does is cancel on me. I lied to her and told her I lost her number, and she knew I was going crazy trying to meet the deadlines on my book; should I come forward and be honest with her about the fact that she was constantly on my mind for that whole month and that I was just too shy? I don't know what to do anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
sarah12 Posted December 16, 2003 Share Posted December 16, 2003 WWDDFD - are you referring to the woman who has been playin games with you? You have got to drop that woman once and for all! Link to post Share on other sites
Author DonTomaso Posted December 16, 2003 Author Share Posted December 16, 2003 Hey Man... i did a quick read of your background story. I think you should just put her on the backburner and not even worry about coming clean with her about how you felt/feel. You are an author which is something to be very proud of, so I would use that as leverage to get more numbers and play the field. Women love guys that can write! Cheers! DonT Link to post Share on other sites
jenny Posted December 16, 2003 Share Posted December 16, 2003 lol - i concur about writers. i had not thought of the callling rule in your case, WWDDFD. it may have been true before, but since then you have shown enough interest that the onus is now on her. i agree you can write her off as an acceptable loss - you give it a go; it might not work; but you were cool for trying. i agree many of these rules are quite ridiculous and actually impede conversation; but it's quite helpful to know how others operate. in an ideal world we would not do it, i expect. but, as dysfuntional as it is, i sort of like it. it's like learning the rules for civil debate - you wait your turn; you use pauses to your advantage; you must prepare your material and you constantly face rejection and loss. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted December 17, 2003 Share Posted December 17, 2003 Only thing is, nobody's agreed on a single set of rules so you need a couple dozen playbooks for reference. Of course, people could just not play games - and then there'd be no need for rules! Link to post Share on other sites
Author DonTomaso Posted December 17, 2003 Author Share Posted December 17, 2003 Yeah moimeme... that would require honesty from everyone on the planet... ha! Talk about a long shot. Link to post Share on other sites
WWDDFD Posted December 17, 2003 Share Posted December 17, 2003 Originally posted by sarah12 WWDDFD - are you referring to the woman who has been playin games with you? You have got to drop that woman once and for all! Heh! She keeps calling me though! Link to post Share on other sites
WWDDFD Posted December 17, 2003 Share Posted December 17, 2003 Originally posted by DonTomaso Hey Man... i did a quick read of your background story. I think you should just put her on the backburner and not even worry about coming clean with her about how you felt/feel. You are an author which is something to be very proud of, so I would use that as leverage to get more numbers and play the field. Women love guys that can write! Cheers! You know, I seriously cannot do that; it makes me feel really fake when I brag about being a writer. I'd like to think that people would like me because of who I am, not because I have the potential to be a cash generator. Maybe it's just my stupid self-loathing complex comming to light, but I really don't feel that writing is an accomplishment to me. Link to post Share on other sites
sarah12 Posted December 17, 2003 Share Posted December 17, 2003 Originally posted by WWDDFD Heh! She keeps calling me though! Don't fall for her again..she's not the type of woman you want to be with. Once you start calling her, she's going to keep cancelling on you again. Link to post Share on other sites
WWDDFD Posted December 17, 2003 Share Posted December 17, 2003 *shrug* Nothing this woman does ever makes any sense to me. I told her that I had to work until 11:30 last night, so she shouldn't bother calling me or anything; but she calls at 11:00pm anyway, even though she knew I was at work. I just don't understand her, and I've given up trying to. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts