Author maxmuscle Posted December 17, 2003 Author Share Posted December 17, 2003 BlockHead- Do majority of the women look for sugar daddies? I wouldn't put it pass my ex. How many woman look for men who are rich and actually get them? I m not saying this is the reason for her breaking up with me, then you never know. Just my luck that may be the main reason. If she did go to somebody rich, it will make me feel like I got cheated out my 3 years with her. And I don't think the planets ever align to my favor. Losing a brand new bimmer, apt, job, and your relationship in one year, I'll say the universe, planets, and stars, was against me. Oh, then I got money stolen out of my bank account from credit card fraud. If it wasn't for bad luck I wouldn't have luck at all. CanadianBornCutie- Yeah, all you can do is sit back and wait, watch or just move on with your life. It sucks, but what are you going to do? Begging and pleading is not going to change a damn thing. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted December 17, 2003 Share Posted December 17, 2003 How come people just can't accept that maybe one of the partners didn't think that the other was the perfect match? Why does somebody have to be demonized? Sure, nobody wants to think that they might have any flaws at all, so if that's too much to accept, then realize that some people just aren't suited. No 'fantasy life' dreams, nor searches for 'rich men' are responsible. Link to post Share on other sites
johnnywinner Posted December 17, 2003 Share Posted December 17, 2003 Maximuscle, I Feel for you.I am in your shoes.I WROTE A POST TOO.iT IS IN THE GETTING MARRIED SECTION.I would like everyome to look at it.I have a similar problem.But, I feel that You, maximuscle should stop talking for a month.You are wearing yourself out.Stop it.She should appreciate your efforts.She is ungrateful.Let her start to think about you.Maybe,she will change her mind.Blockhead,I AM VERY INTERESTED IN YOUR VIEWS.Your list was excellent.I AM HURTING TOO.i have not any answers ,other than walk away,for one month.I say this for your own respect too.She is not respecting you.GOOD LUCK AND MERRY CHRISTMAS. /JOHNNYWINNER Link to post Share on other sites
Author maxmuscle Posted December 17, 2003 Author Share Posted December 17, 2003 moimeme, I agree with you, but when you ex calls you in ther middle of night saying that I am the only one she can talk to or how she misses me, thinks I am special. You kind of second guess her break-up decision. Some people run away from their feelings only to have it bite them in the A$$ later. I am not saying this is the case of my ex. I am also not saying that I was the perfect match for my ex. Nethier am I hoping and praying we get back together. She left me for a reason. I wish nothing but the best for my ex, I never wish bad on anybody. I know I have flaws, everybody does. It was a point in time when I second guess the relationship based of the crap she did to me. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted December 17, 2003 Share Posted December 17, 2003 Well, the other side of the equation is that people can get themselves all confused, over-think things, and sabotage themselves. There's not a whole lot you can do about that, either, because the issues are in their heads. In either case, the explanations are usually much more complex than the one-liners like 'she just wants a rich man'. If I were you, I'd go with 'she's confused'. You can't unconfuse her. She may be temporarily confused - or this might last a long time. In any case, it's nothing to beat yourself up about. You need to focus on taking care of you. Yes, be there for her if it's not too painful for you, but you can't let yourself slide into despair because of this. Link to post Share on other sites
jenny Posted December 17, 2003 Share Posted December 17, 2003 maxmuscle, i think it's cool that you are now concentrating on what one unethical woman did to you. you can emerge from this easily as a strong man, independent of hasty prejudices, rather than using the occasion to generalize about all female flaws. Link to post Share on other sites
Author maxmuscle Posted December 17, 2003 Author Share Posted December 17, 2003 Jenny, The reason for my thread is that so many men complain about the same thing I've written on this thread. I am NOT saying all women are this way, but based on the number guys I've been around in college, graduate school, work, sporting clubs have similar situations. Link to post Share on other sites
jenny Posted December 17, 2003 Share Posted December 17, 2003 i totally dig - i've heard this a lot from my guy friends, too but i think you were personally hurt, and i really like that you were willing to open up, raw and honestly, as well as gather support. any guy who can say "I was hurt" instead of only "women are no good" has courage. Link to post Share on other sites
Author maxmuscle Posted December 17, 2003 Author Share Posted December 17, 2003 Jenny I still love my ex. I was hurt by the situation, but life goes on. Did I understand the break-up? At first, hell no, but as time went on, I tried to undestand things from her point of veiw. Do I understand things now? Hell no! Link to post Share on other sites
jenny Posted December 17, 2003 Share Posted December 17, 2003 i think the main reason i would urge you to resist angry gender realizations is that they are simply not useful. it's not that they are wrong, but they just won't help you move on. plus, they are huge red flags for new women you will meet... a well-told story about the girl who hurt you, however, is hard to resist. it shows you are open, vulnerable, and strong without needing to hide behind blanket-statements. i have some female friends who make really problematic statements about men often, and then wonder why men seem to shy away from them. i make some myself , of course, sometimes, i did not mean to sound 'lecturious.' Link to post Share on other sites
BlockHead Posted December 17, 2003 Share Posted December 17, 2003 jenny i have some female friends who make really problematic statements about men often, and then wonder why men seem to shy away from them.Call it a self-fulfilling prophesy. Think of this as the sour grapes approach. If she is unattainable, then she isn’t worth it. Link to post Share on other sites
BlockHead Posted December 17, 2003 Share Posted December 17, 2003 http://www.pacificnet.net/~johnr/cgi/aesop1.cgi?2&TheFoxandtheGrapes2 The Fox and the Grapes One hot summer's day a Fox was strolling through an orchard till he came to a bunch of Grapes just ripening on a vine which had been trained over a lofty branch. "Just the thing to quench my thirst," quoth he. Drawing back a few paces, he took a run and a jump, and just missed the bunch. Turning round again with a One, Two, Three, he jumped up, but with no greater success. Again and again he tried after the tempting morsel, but at last had to give it up, and walked away with his nose in the air, saying: "I am sure they are sour." It is easy to despise what you cannot get. Link to post Share on other sites
CanadianBornCutie Posted December 18, 2003 Share Posted December 18, 2003 Yes, but the reward is sweeter in the end the harder you work for it Link to post Share on other sites
BlockHead Posted December 18, 2003 Share Posted December 18, 2003 Yes, but the reward is sweeter in the end the harder you work for itThe fox never gets the reward, and there are things in life that can never be attained. The fox didn't get depressed over it. Instead, he walked away with pride. It wasn't that good anyways. I think maxmuscle should do the same. ‘She wasn't good enough for me.’ ‘I deserve better.’ There is also the law of diminishing returns. The more work you put in, the less you will get out of it. It is a waste of time and energy to try endlessly. Blow her off, and move on. If she comes back to rekindle the relationship, maybe there is hope. If she doesn’t come back, she won’t waste your time and energy. You win in either cases. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted December 18, 2003 Share Posted December 18, 2003 What an interesting interpretation!! I always thought the reader was supposed to think less of the fox because he pretended he didn't really want the grapes because he failed at getting them. He didn't walk away proud; he'd been a failure and so put up a fake front to cover his shame. Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted December 18, 2003 Share Posted December 18, 2003 Aye, Fables are like scripture references, You can make them mean anything. It could just as well be about the challenges of being a morrally good person, in that sly foxes who can't corrupt you will just go talking about you behind your back. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted December 18, 2003 Share Posted December 18, 2003 Now THAT is a very interesting moral indeed. Link to post Share on other sites
BlockHead Posted December 18, 2003 Share Posted December 18, 2003 moimeme I always thought the reader was supposed to think less of the fox because he pretended he didn't really want the grapes because he failed at getting them. He didn't walk away proud; he'd been a failure and so put up a fake front to cover his shame.I’m sure that there are other grapes within the fox’s reach. Why bother with the ones that aren’t? Now THAT is a very interesting moral indeed.It sure is, but I think it can apply here. Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted December 18, 2003 Share Posted December 18, 2003 Another would be, "Why bother desperately grasping for what the moral of a silly little fable means, when you can just move on to something more tangible?" Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted December 18, 2003 Share Posted December 18, 2003 something more tangible Such as???? Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted December 18, 2003 Share Posted December 18, 2003 Grapes hon, we're talking about grapes. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted December 18, 2003 Share Posted December 18, 2003 Yes, I know. Just saying not much is happening so we're engaging in a bit of quibble for the heck of it. Link to post Share on other sites
jenny Posted December 18, 2003 Share Posted December 18, 2003 i like grapes. (jenny as ralph wiggum) Link to post Share on other sites
BlockHead Posted December 18, 2003 Share Posted December 18, 2003 i like grapes.So do I. Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted December 18, 2003 Share Posted December 18, 2003 Oh, in that case, the other grapes, the tangible ones, represented the relationships that are socially acceptable and healthy. Link to post Share on other sites
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