marty453 Posted December 16, 2003 Share Posted December 16, 2003 My gf and I have been together for over fours years. We get along great and I think she's perfect . We've never had any real problems in our relationship except for different sexual appetites. Now we're down to sex about once a month. I'd like 2-3 times per week, but once a week would be acceptable. I've had a serious discussion with her about this a couple of times. The first time was quite positive, and things improved for a couple of months. But I didn't want to push it again, so we went back to once a month for a long time. I finally decided to bring it up again, but this time it was less positive. She didn't seem to think it was a problem because she was happy with once a month. But she did say she would try to improve. Unfortunately, it didn't really improve. So for the past year or so, it's been 1-3 times per month. I tried discussing it again recently, but I could tell she didn't want to talk about it. She would just say "I know" and try to change the subject. I'm doing everything I can to make the few occassions as perfect for her as possible with oral sex, massages, etc. I don't think there's anything more I could do with regards to that. I've already decided that in spite of the quality of our relationship, I can't continue this lack of sex forever . What should I do next? Link to post Share on other sites
steveb Posted December 16, 2003 Share Posted December 16, 2003 When you do make love, how does it happen? (I mean Why? don't need [color=red]THE[/color] details. lol) Do you pursue her very often? My wife would get put off if I was overly pushy/gropey day after day. If to often, take a break and do not even try. See if she notices. I do not consider this any type of revenge or anything, it is just to check if it is the way you pursue it that turns her off. Link to post Share on other sites
Author marty453 Posted December 16, 2003 Author Share Posted December 16, 2003 Hi Steveb...thanks for the reply. I'd say that I try to initiate love making about twice a week. On the occassions when we do make love, it's almost always on the weekends first thing in the morning. Thanks for the tip, but I've tried that. Now it's not really a strategy anymore, I'm trying to not initiate it as often because I'd rather not get turned down so much. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted December 17, 2003 Share Posted December 17, 2003 I've already decided that in spite of the quality of our relationship, I can't continue this lack of sex forever . What should I do next Tell her, not us. Tell her you need to negotiate something that satisfies you both. Ask if she feels it's fair that you keep to her schedule. I'd say that I try to initiate love making about twice a week. Hm. Do you court her at all? Or do you just reach over and start groping stuff? Do you leave in the morning after telling her how hot she is and how you'd love to do stuff to her that week? Do you romance her during the day? Do you build up the tension? Do you set the mood? At the beginning of a relationship, when you're both rarin' to go, you may not need to do that stuff but as time goes on, 'lovemaking' needs to start long before you are both horizontal or before the first erogenous zone is approached. Link to post Share on other sites
steveb Posted December 17, 2003 Share Posted December 17, 2003 I wish I had more advise, but my wife's and my libidos also mismatch. She also has a poor body self image, and will worry so much sometimes that she may even stop us after the foreplay has already started. Trying to be romantic has helped lately. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts