Women: Male shirtless photos on dating sites

[You'reasian]

yes and many guys like that know how to play their game. you would start thinking ,ah maybe he is actually nice and stuff. you want to believe he is genuine. i have a feeling you would date him if he seemed alright...do you think most guys like that are actually going to admit they just want sex upfront?

 

Depends on the guy; depends on the woman too.

 

Many women would run away from a guy who said he wanted sex upfront if it didn't match their true intentions or desires and her attraction to his physical assets.

 

Take a guy - make him 6'2" give him a lean and mean physique, hung like a horse, sexually suggestive - put his profile on match.com and see what kinds of results he drums up?

 

Read her profile - her intentions, desires etc. there could be some contrast, but that's just human nature at times, like cognac said - we're animals too.

Edited December 6, 2009 by You'reasian

[dreamergrl]

yes and many guys like that know how to play their game. you would start thinking ,ah maybe he is actually nice and stuff. you want to believe he is genuine. i have a feeling you would date him if he seemed alright...do you think most guys like that are actually going to admit they just want sex upfront?

 

You'd be surprised. I've had married guys tell me they want something on the side. I've had guys who tell me they hate to date and just want to have 'fun'. I've heard it all. Maybe not all, but a lot. You can read a person pretty well if you listen well. But if you only want to hear what you want to hear, then you're not going to get the real gist of it.

 

After seeing a few pictures, I then proceed to read the profile. Have some conversation.

 

I don't drip with drool over a shirtless picture. It makes me more cautious.

[dudet]

You'd be surprised. I've had married guys tell me they want something on the side. I've had guys who tell me they hate to date and just want to have 'fun'. I've heard it all. Maybe not all, but a lot. You can read a person pretty well if you listen well. But if you only want to hear what you want to hear, then you're not going to get the real gist of it.

 

After seeing a few pictures, I then proceed to read the profile. Have some conversation.

 

I don't drip with drool over a shirtless picture. It makes me more cautious.

 

but do you ever wonder why men like that are contacting you? or better yet, why would your profile attract those types of guy.

 

i'm sure your profile or pics doesn't give off any vibes to attract men like that, but makes you wonder. i guess they are just hoping you will give into their desires. i don't get why people who are up to no good, bother contacting people who seem serious and want more than just fun or to get laid

[carhill]

Given the narrow scope of the OP, I'll accept the words of the females here who seem to be saying such pictures are not swaying their interest.

 

However, in real life, with much experience watching what women do, rather than what they say, and specifically watching my stbx and her girlfriends (40's-50's women), I can safely say that real life versus dating site pictures seem to be viewed a bit differently than what is being presented here. Such men, in real life, get female attention just by being. No actions nor words are necessary. Having been on numerous cruises and trips to resort destinations in warm climates, I have much sample data.

 

I'll remember, when posting my dating profile, to keep my shirt on, lest women get aroused by my bro

[You'reasian]

Given the narrow scope of the OP, I'll accept the words of the females here who seem to be saying such pictures are not swaying their interest.

 

However, in real life, with much experience watching what women do, rather than what they say, and specifically watching my stbx and her girlfriends (40's-50's women), I can safely say that real life versus dating site pictures seem to be viewed a bit differently than what is being presented here. Such men, in real life, get female attention just by being. No actions nor words are necessary. Having been on numerous cruises and trips to resort destinations in warm climates, I have much sample data.

 

I'll remember, when posting my dating profile, to keep my shirt on, lest women get aroused by my bro

 

Your post is spot on.

[dudet]

Given the narrow scope of the OP, I'll accept the words of the females here who seem to be saying such pictures are not swaying their interest.

 

However, in real life, with much experience watching what women do, rather than what they say, and specifically watching my stbx and her girlfriends (40's-50's women), I can safely say that real life versus dating site pictures seem to be viewed a bit differently than what is being presented here. Such men, in real life, get female attention just by being. No actions nor words are necessary. Having been on numerous cruises and trips to resort destinations in warm climates, I have much sample data.

 

I'll remember, when posting my dating profile, to keep my shirt on, lest women get aroused by my bro

 

carhill for your dating profile you should go topless but leave on your santa hat and beard lol

[The Way I Am]

Get real Bejita. Take a walk to the beach in the summer, who are the guys surrounded with all the chicks? It's the ones with the magazine bodies. I don't know what experience you guys have that women are some kind of romance Mother Theresa who don't look at looks and look at the beauty of your soul or some other stupid cliche If you have a nice body, you're going to atleast have casual sexual encounters with women if you show it off.

How do your experiences at the beach make you an expert on online dating profiles? At the beach, men are generally expected to be shirtless, whether they're looking to impress women or not. A shirtless (non-beach) online dating picture is the equivalent of strutting into the bar without a shirt and expecting women to flock. At the beach, it's cool. Elsewhere, it's weird and gives off a bad vibe.

 

(Though usually it's worse than that example, since they're mostly in their bedrooms in the shirtless pics. Shirtless in the bedroom is a bit too forward for what's essentially the first time you're "meeting" the person.)

 

im not a girl, but here is my thoughts. i see what some are saying, but just because a guy has a topless picture up, he is automatically labeled as "i want sex"? a bit judgmental eh

 

i don't think its too attractive to put up topless pics on dating sites, but are you claiming any guy who does this is up to no good? what about if a girl is on the site in a revealing tank top like im sure a lot of women do. you stereotype these men for being shirtless but you got your pics up looking semi slutty and like you are asking for it lol

 

You're making the same point I originally made: The guys who do that are the giving off the same tasteless, patheticness that girls who post super slutty pics are.

 

My main issue isn't even that they give the impression that they want only sex. (Though when dreamgrl mentioned it, I realized she had a point.) I just think they look like total tools.

 

Also, since you replied directly to me, I don't have any semi slutty pictures up anywhere looking like I'm "asking for it". Who's stereotyping and being judgmental here?

 

yeah, not good thats extreme..but are you saying if one of those in fact contacted you, ask you out, you would turn him down?

 

I probably wouldn't go out with any guys who have shirtless pics up. It's really that big of a turn off. But then, my profile is hidden so no men can find me to contact me first.

 

I was considering contacting some guys online. Two of them specifically looked cute in their main pic. I read their profile, and in both cases, they seemed decent. I looked through the rest of their photos, saw the shirtless pics, and then closed their profiles. It was not attractive.

 

I started the thread, because one of the posters here was going to use a shirtless pic on his dating profile. From my experience, I thought it was a bad idea. I figured it'd be useful to get other women's opinions.

Edited December 6, 2009 by The Way I Am

[Boundary Problem]

Get real Bejita. Take a walk to the beach in the summer, who are the guys surrounded with all the chicks? It's the ones with the magazine bodies. If you have a nice body, you're going to atleast have casual sexual encounters with women if you show it off.

 

 

 

If a guy is at the beach with his shirt off, it sort of makes me wonder if he's unemployed. Particularly if he has a dark tan.

 

Never trust a man with a deep tan.

 

Real men are at work and looking after their families, not chasing girls at the beach.

 

I can't seem to lose that mind-set when looking at men on the online-dating sites. Real men don't need to take their shirts off to be hot.

[Citizen Erased]

If a guy is at the beach with his shirt off, it sort of makes me wonder if he's unemployed. Particularly if he has a dark tan.

 

Never trust a man with a deep tan.

 

Real men are at work and looking after their families, not chasing girls at the beach.

 

I can't seem to lose that mind-set when looking at men on the online-dating sites. Real men don't need to take their shirts off to be hot.

 

They could be working on a building site all day, those guys tend to have their shirts off a lot, hence the tan.

 

Anyway, my vote goes to those photos are tacky. Next.

[CLC2008]

I’d view it as a yellow flag, there has to be other aspects about him to back up what sort of person he is.

[gypsy_nicky]

the face is more important than the body

[threebyfate]

Given the narrow scope of the OP, I'll accept the words of the females here who seem to be saying such pictures are not swaying their interest.

 

However, in real life, with much experience watching what women do, rather than what they say, and specifically watching my stbx and her girlfriends (40's-50's women), I can safely say that real life versus dating site pictures seem to be viewed a bit differently than what is being presented here. Such men, in real life, get female attention just by being. No actions nor words are necessary. Having been on numerous cruises and trips to resort destinations in warm climates, I have much sample data.

 

I'll remember, when posting my dating profile, to keep my shirt on, lest women get aroused by my bro

Women objectify men too. We can admire a male physique but not be enamoured or surprisingly, interested in any way. But then, the ladies who have responded, aren't in the 40's - 50's crowd, therefore, probably have a different outlook on life.

 

Sure, we like a nice set of abs but only if they're attached to someone worthwhile. If the guy is a dud, no amount of pecs and abs will compensate for this.

 

When someone displays semi-private wares on a public site, where any weirdo can admire them, don't you think this is a high indication of superficiality? I judge both men and women who display their chest to the world, no differently.

[flc]

If a guy is at the beach with his shirt off, it sort of makes me wonder if he's unemployed. Particularly if he has a dark tan.

 

Never trust a man with a deep tan.

 

Real men are at work and looking after their families, not chasing girls at the beach.

 

That's ridiculus, I work hard 5 days a week so I can afford to be at the beach on the weekend. I love the sun and the beach and have a pretty good tan, partly from cycling 120mi a week and the rest from being at the beach on the weekend. BTW- my income is middle six figures.

 

As for the OP shirtless men or women in lingerie or with cleavage shots seem to be advertising for the wrong thing to me. I think it crosses the line between looking for a relationship and looking for sex. That is my 2c

[Awesome Username]

General conclusion:

 

We women love men with amazing bodies.

 

We women hate men with amazing bodies who display it freely to anybody on the internet, in an attempt to get laid.

[johan]

That's ridiculus, I work hard 5 days a week so I can afford to be at the beach on the weekend. I love the sun and the beach and have a pretty good tan, partly from cycling 120mi a week and the rest from being at the beach on the weekend. BTW- my income is middle six figures.

 

As for the OP shirtless men or women in lingerie or with cleavage shots seem to be advertising for the wrong thing to me. I think it crosses the line between looking for a relationship and looking for sex. That is my 2c

 

I agree. Because you in particular live a unique lifestyle, women should assume that all tanned guys in online profiles live the same lifestyle you do. That would be less ridiculous.

[flc]

I agree. Because you in particular live a unique lifestyle, women should assume that all tanned guys in online profiles live the same lifestyle you do. That would be less ridiculous.

 

Actually no one should assume anything, that is the beauty of communications you can actually talk to people and find out about them.

[johan]

Actually no one should assume anything, that is the beauty of communications you can actually talk to people and find out about them.

 

I agree with you on this point as well. A woman should invest the time in every profile she sees to make sure that she isn't making invalid assumptions. Just because a guy looks like a slacker doesn't mean he actually is one. And finding out the truth is going to take some investigation.

[citygal]

Suppose a man has several photos of himself on his profile. One of these photos was shirtless, then I wouldn't consider it to be a major turnoff. If I liked a man's overall profile, then I would try to get to know him first. Before making any assumptions about him based on a shirtless photo.

[Lost-n-confused]

Lets face it girls are just as shallow as men are. Ive read articles and forums that say using a body shot is a bad thing but I disagree. I used to have a headshot with a nice smile on my face and that "good guy image" was getting me no place fast. When you walk into a car dealership to buy a car you looking at the outside first then you take a look inside. If you like what you see you usually give it a test drive before you make a long term commitment. Online dating is the same thing. First you check out the photo and ask yourself is he or she attractive, if you think so then you go and check out their profile. If you like what you see then you strike up a conversation and try for a date.

 

A Toyota Prius MAY have a nice interior and will get you from point A to B, and be reliable and safe. Yet lets face it you want the little red corvette with the tight bucket seats, sexy body and well the ride is nothing more then mind blowing.

 

I’ve had a body shot up for two days. I have had a 1000% increase in girls checking out my profile. I’ve even started chatting with a 26 year old girl who appears to be very interesting and looks gorgeous. Would she of messaged me before I put the bodyshot up?? I dont know but im happy I did and its staying up.

 

FACT: Advertisement sells!

[threebyfate]

Lets face it girls are just as shallow as men are. Ive read articles and forums that say using a body shot is a bad thing but I disagree. I used to have a headshot with a nice smile on my face and that "good guy image" was getting me no place fast. When you walk into a car dealership to buy a car you looking at the outside first then you take a look inside. If you like what you see you usually give it a test drive before you make a long term commitment. Online dating is the same thing. First you check out the photo and ask yourself is he or she attractive, if you think so then you go and check out their profile. If you like what you see then you strike up a conversation and try for a date.

 

A Toyota Prius MAY have a nice interior and will get you from point A to B, and be reliable and safe. Yet lets face it you want the little red corvette with the tight bucket seats, sexy body and well the ride is nothing more then mind blowing.

 

I’ve had a body shot up for two days. I have had a 1000% increase in girls checking out my profile. I’ve even started chatting with a 26 year old girl who appears to be very interesting and looks gorgeous. Would she of messaged me before I put the bodyshot up?? I dont know but im happy I did and its staying up.

 

FACT: Advertisement sells!

I await a meaningful, LTR, from your endeavors.

 

Edit: Ahahahaha...just noticed your new avvy bare-chested pic.

[dreamergrl]

So you can't even give a proper answer? You're just going to keep contradicting yourself?

 

Where have I contradicted myself?

[Lost-n-confused]

I await a meaningful, LTR, from your endeavors.

 

Edit: Ahahahaha...just noticed your new avvy bare-chested pic.

 

Me too, Im awaiting a meaningful, LTR for me. Ive never been in a relationship so if I get anything ill be happy. Ive been doing online dating for 3 months. In two days Ive had more activity then all of last month.

 

That pic is my profile photo on dating sites. Its been working so far.

 

Some girl messaged me last night from 250 miles away. I asked why did you msg me you live so far aways. She said my photo stoodout above the rest.

[threebyfate]

Me too, Im awaiting a meaningful, LTR for me. Ive never been in a relationship so if I get anything ill be happy. Ive been doing online dating for 3 months. In two days Ive had more activity then all of last month.

 

That pic is my profile photo on dating sites. Its been working so far.

 

Some girl messaged me last night from 250 miles away. I asked why did you msg me you live so far aways. She said my photo stoodout above the rest.

Getting attention doesn't mean it's the right kind of attention.

 

I responded to your post previous to you uploading a bare chested pic. Had I seen it first, I would have ignored you. That's brutal honesty.

[cognac]

Me too, Im awaiting a meaningful, LTR for me. Ive never been in a relationship so if I get anything ill be happy. Ive been doing online dating for 3 months. In two days Ive had more activity then all of last month.

 

That pic is my profile photo on dating sites. Its been working so far.

 

Some girl messaged me last night from 250 miles away. I asked why did you msg me you live so far aways. She said my photo stoodout above the rest.

 

Proves my point right here.

 

Women don't like the bare chested muscleman avatars because they know it is attractive to many women, hence hard to keep around, not because it is "arrogant" or anything of the sort.

[dreamergrl]

Getting attention doesn't mean it's the right kind of attention.

 

I responded to your post previous to you uploading a bare chested pic. Had I seen it first, I would have ignored you. That's brutal honesty.

 

I agree.

 

Also... do you want a girl that's 250 miles away to be contacting you just for your picture? How about what she read in your profile?

 

Lost, you go on and on about how you want a meaningful relationship, but just because your picture stood out doesn't mean it's the type of attention you want, as TBF said. A meaningful relationship wont stem off of your abs. No matter how hard you work out and what not, that's not what's going to give you your meaningful relationship.