Being a player: positives and negatives?

[elaina]

Hi,

 

I'm not meaning to bash players. I'm just curious about some things. What are the positives and negatives to being a player (both a male one or a female one)? Is being a player good for the community? Does it help the economy? Does it help bring unity to a group of people? Is it good for children for their parent(s) to be players? Why do some married people want to cease being married and become players? What does being a player mean, exactly?

 

Any thoughts? Thanks.

[bbf]

Isn't a player someone who has relationships on the side? It's good for the player if they want more than one person. I don't see how it would be good for the community or the economy or anything like that. Players only benefit themselves and usually at the cost of everyone else involved.

[Jaytb]

Is being a player good for the community?

 

Yes. Local bars will love you if you're a player.

 

Does it help the economy?

It's good for bars, alcohol brewers, and condom makers. If that's not helping the economy, then I don't know what would.

 

Does it help bring unity to a group of people?

Yes.

 

Is it good for children for their parent(s) to be players?

Yes. For instance, Suzy here has three daddies. Little Johnny has 5 daddies and 6 mommies. He gets all the presents on Christmas.

 

Why do some married people want to cease being married and become players?

Cuz they found married life too boring or they don't have any spark with their wives/husbands anymore.

[ADF]

When you get down to it, player are men--and most of them are men--who harbor a deep, abiding hatred of women. It is that simple. Sure some are more predatory than others, and many are superficially charming. But the hallmark of every true player is hatred of women.

 

This is why players do what they do. To a player, dating is not a search for love or companionship, but a predator/prey interaction. Their goal is first make a woman love them, then proceed to destroy her self esteem and humiliate her. In doing so, the player aggrandizes himself, proves to himself and his "boys" that he's a real man.

 

Players are beneath contempt. They are to the world of dating what rapists are to the criminal justice system. They leave behind a wreckage of shattered women and abandoned children. They are garbage.

[C-i-C-u]

+

Women will flock to you

Most women will always have a good memory of you

You will have sex with more women then a hot hooker

You get to have children and not have to raise them

You will have sex with 9 and 10s

The women who do hate the experience with you will remember you for "hating women".

-

I hate you.....and there is a chance for an STD like herpes and HPV.....but look on the positve side. You get to spread it to hundreds of people who didn't have it before.

[Yukikazi]

We are all well aware of the "War between the sexes".. the "Dating Game".. and other names for it.

 

EVERYONE is a player.. If you are trying to find love.. your a player.

 

If you're trying to date someone you are having to play the game.. **** tests.. all the things that people complain about.. its all part of the game that anyone dating or dealing with those we are attracted to are forced to play. How to get the girl... how to get the guy.. its a game whether you want to refer to it or not. We are ALL players. Once you try to start talking to someone the game is on as you are trying to determine if they are right for you and vice versa. When women ask questions or act in ways specifically to trip up guys.. they are playing the game. Why? because they need to weed out the beta males in their search for the alpha they are genetically programed to seek. This whole subforum is basically where we are teaching each other how to adapt and play the game against each other.

*Take Lost and confused's thread.. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t209758/

 

he wouldn't have gotten the girl if we hadn't advised him on how to play the game to successfully get her. He didn't do anything malicious he just got help on how to play.. result being both he and the girl are now together and hopefully they will be happy. Had Lost not learned tips on how to play, the result would have been heartache for both sides.*

 

This is where the confusion lies.. the people you are calling players are the promiscuous people that use and discard ppl for sex only. They are playing the game looking for high scores.. not to find the right person.

 

Sluts and whatever the male equivalent is, would be the correct term for the people you are talking about OP.

Edited December 7, 2009 by Yukikazi

[TheLoneSock]

When you get down to it, player are men--and most of them are men--who harbor a deep, abiding hatred of women. It is that simple. Sure some are more predatory than others, and many are superficially charming. But the hallmark of every true player is hatred of women.

 

This is why players do what they do. To a player, dating is not a search for love or companionship, but a predator/prey interaction. Their goal is first make a woman love them, then proceed to destroy her self esteem and humiliate her. In doing so, the player aggrandizes himself, proves to himself and his "boys" that he's a real man.

 

Players are beneath contempt. They are to the world of dating what rapists are to the criminal justice system. They leave behind a wreckage of shattered women and abandoned children. They are garbage.

 

Dude, are you a girl?

[minutebyminute]

I think (ADF) he/she may have something. I've been trying to hear from some

players, posted a thread on it. The only person who replied with any info

was a person who said he was a player because women made him into one.

 

If he could have been himself, he had the heart of a poet.

 

I wanted to get to the "roots" asking similar questions, like "did you have a controlling mother", "were you hurt deeply by a woman & are you seeking revenge." I just could not figure out the whole humiliation thing, and why

this man sought me out, knowing a few things he did about me. Of course

it was a 50/50 thing, but I've had so many chances with so many other just gorgeous men with "potential" or a set life and said NO WAY, I'm married, I had boundries (then anyway) why did I fall for this particular type. I did fall in love with him, he did say things to me like, "you need to go to the gym." when I went out of my way to look lovely and sexy, mind you I had the money to dress, no tights or mini skirts, just nice clothes.

This killed my self esteem, I cried in front of him, he took me to my knees when he said this to me.

 

BUT, then the locigal part of my mind took over, I felt great and who was this a-hole to assess me? and I told him this. He would jab at me every now and then, I think it worked on me and my thoughts of I should be more sexy for him or he will get another. How f-up is that. I'm married and worrying about the OM looking around.

 

This is the part that killed me. I'm not a stupid person, don't know why I fell for this person. Learn all you can about a PLAYER, tell your friends, tell your family, tell your children and hopefully you can avoid this very hurtful exchange in your life or in the life of someone you care about.

 

I still continue to search for facts on players, as I still have a hard time believing I got played!

[Woggle]

When you get down to it, player are men--and most of them are men--who harbor a deep, abiding hatred of women. It is that simple. Sure some are more predatory than others, and many are superficially charming. But the hallmark of every true player is hatred of women.

 

This is why players do what they do. To a player, dating is not a search for love or companionship, but a predator/prey interaction. Their goal is first make a woman love them, then proceed to destroy her self esteem and humiliate her. In doing so, the player aggrandizes himself, proves to himself and his "boys" that he's a real man.

 

Players are beneath contempt. They are to the world of dating what rapists are to the criminal justice system. They leave behind a wreckage of shattered women and abandoned children. They are garbage.

 

You are dead wrong. Most players are so because women made them the way they are. Nearly every player I have know was once a good guy who treat women with respect and was faitful and loving. This got them nowhere fast and only ended up with their heart being broken. Now they are players and the same women who got bored of them in the past are now chasing after them. Until women start truly appreciating the men who treat them well they can spare me their moralizing about players.

[Dexter Morgan]

Hi,

 

I'm not meaning to bash players. I'm just curious about some things. What are the positives and negatives to being a player (both a male one or a female one)? Is being a player good for the community? Does it help the economy? Does it help bring unity to a group of people? Is it good for children for their parent(s) to be players? Why do some married people want to cease being married and become players? What does being a player mean, exactly?

 

Any thoughts? Thanks.

 

after reading so much here about women going for players, cheaters and jerks....I am starting to think there are no "cons" to being a player.

 

Women go for them, then complain about them when its all said and done.

 

pros about being a player

 

1) women want you because you don't care if they want you or not. they know there are millions of women out there that WILL want to be with them.

 

2) players don't have to invest emotions in any relationships where they will get stomped on later.

 

3) players get variety

 

4) players know that the women that go for them will talk bad about them, shout to the mountaintops that nice guys are the way to go......but most all of them will go back to the player.

 

now of course none of this means i would become a player.....but damn its tempting.

 

 

Cons?.....I'm thinking about that one. only one I can think of is that the women they play will talk bad about them...but the player knows.....they'll be back for more.

 

as far as players missing out on a good relationship and never will be considered mate material for the long haul....I don't think players really care or want the long haul in the first place.

[Yukikazi]

Well I'll admit.. I'm working on these "player" skills right now.. even hanging out with pickup artists...

 

Does that mean I'm going to be adding a few hundred notches to the bedpost.. no..

 

Does that mean I'll be meeting new people and having fun.. yes

 

Does the fact that I'm learned how to interact with women and make them happy and have a good time make me an evil player.. no

 

Does the fact that a player is someone that knows how to interact with women and avoid the mistakes that most guys make appeal to me.. yes

 

Had I not started down this path... I wouldn't have been able to help advise agentsmith on how to get the girl he wanted.

 

This weekend should be interesting.. I'm going out with a pickup dude to see how he does it and join along.. will be most informative.

[threebyfate]

Players are weak and emotionally fragile individuals, afraid or unable to handle hurt in their lives. They get off on sucking personal power by leveraging off their victims.

 

Why anyone would want to be a player, who knows. Life's too short to be afraid of everything.

[Yukikazi]

You need to stop accepting the media and womens mag's definition of a player and really think about it

[threebyfate]

You need to stop accepting the media and womens mag's definition of a player and really think about it

I used to play players for fun, when I was younger, so pardon me for knowing a little something about them.

[Yukikazi]

I used to play players for fun, when I was younger, so pardon me for knowing a little something about them.

 

So you admit to being a player yourself as you were involved in the game and played it. Whether you did it to have fun with other players or to pick up a guy yourself.. you are still a player.

 

Someday I hope to stop having to correct people as to the correct definition of a player vs a slut so they can tell the difference and stop insulting every single man and woman trying to find someone to spend time with.

 

A player is not a negative moniker unless you don't understand the definition..

Maybe someday you'll learn the difference

[TheLoneSock]

I used to play players for fun, when I was younger, so pardon me for knowing a little something about them.

 

If a player gets 'played', what does it matter? He's not emotionally invested in you anyway, and would never care.

 

The guys you played were probably just player wannabes. You know, the weak, emotionally fragile ones.

[threebyfate]

So you admit to being a player yourself as you were involved in the game and played it. Whether you did it to have fun with other players or to pick up a guy yourself.. you are still a player.

 

Someday I hope to stop having to correct people as to the correct definition of a player vs a slut so they can tell the difference and stop insulting every single man and woman trying to find someone to spend time with.

 

A player is not a negative moniker unless you don't understand the definition..

Maybe someday you'll learn the difference

It was a game of catch and release, with nothing invested and absolutely no intent to invest. I've always despised players, so it was fun to play, just to see how far they would go. Most often, they folded like a cheap suit, hence emotionally weak individuals.

 

If you have a different definition of player, by all means, you're entitled to it. But using it as the "sole" definition for player, is just a debate in semantics.

 

Emotional strength comes from caring about people and being unafraid to risk love, commitment and its rewards.

[threebyfate]

If a player gets 'played', what does it matter? He's not emotionally invested in you anyway, and would never care.

 

The guys you played were probably just player wannabes. You know, the weak, emotionally fragile ones.

Nice try but you're wrong.

[TheLoneSock]

Nice try but you're wrong.

 

Oh, well then in that case I'll just take your dogmatic view at face value. You're right! Silly me, debating with the self proclaimed player crushing queen.

[threebyfate]

Oh, well then in that case I'll just take your dogmatic view at face value. You're right! Silly me, debating with the self proclaimed player crushing queen.

Too funny!

[Pyro]

Cons?.....I'm thinking about that one. only one I can think of is that the women they play will talk bad about them...but the player knows.....they'll be back for more.

 

as far as players missing out on a good relationship and never will be considered mate material for the long haul....I don't think players really care or want the long haul in the first place.

 

How about the greater risk of contracting one or more STDs?

 

How about a greater risk of getting a random girl pregnant?

 

How about the greater risk of meeting someone who is a complete psycho that may turn out to be an axe murderer?

 

IMO, there is a fine line between someone who calls themself a "player" and someone who is naturally good at communicating with the opposite sex. Players will say anything, regardless of it being true or not to get what they want. The other kind can woo the opposite sex by being themselves.

[BackUpOrGetStung]

I sleep with a lot of women, but I'm not a player.

 

I've been looking for a relationship for a while now, and it seems all the women that I get with don't want that. I don't know why; I have a good job, I'm nice, I'm understanding, I'm easy to talk to, and encouraging, but for some reason they don't want any of that. For some reason, I also attract a LOT of women with boyfriends. I really don't understand it, and it's extremely frustrating and a bit depressing.

[threebyfate]

IME, the best players are the ones who deny even to themselves, that they're players.

 

What better way to fool someone else?

 

Btw, I've never stated that I could play any player, just that I have played players. I've been suckered before and consider myself pretty stupid for being suckered.

[InspiredbyYou]

If a player gets 'played', what does it matter? He's not emotionally invested in you anyway, and would never care.

 

Absolutely true!

 

But sometimes people tell themselves things to justify all the time they wasted chasing after the wrong type of people.

[thegreatmoose]

Yes. Local bars will love you if you're a player.

 

It's good for bars, alcohol brewers, and condom makers. If that's not helping the economy, then I don't know what would.

It's also good for hospitals. Cheating on people causes and anger and anger often results in violence. Ememgency rooms will be crowded and many expensive precedures will need to be performed.