really bored Posted December 17, 2003 Share Posted December 17, 2003 hello everyone, this is the usual post by guys that ive read so far on this site but i still would like advice i'm not too good in general with expressing my feelings or reading what others project towards me, so naturally being shy i have been alone my whole dating life, (almost 20) i meet girls that i want to date adn they generally have boyfriends or seem to be uninterested - i met a girl at school that is so amazing and if i had ever written down the perfect girl she would have matched it to a T - that was 4 months ago - she had a BF at the time so i decided to wait to try to ask her out - she is now my best friend and i missed all opprotunity to tell her how i feel because another guy beat me to the punch - he's a great guy and im happy that she is happy but now i cant get her out of my head which subsequently is hindering any hope of finding another girl - she said she would help me because she feels bad for me - she doesnt knwo how i feel about her though - anyway i need advice on tactics for meeting girls that i would want to date and how to cope with seeing my best friend and girl that i am in love with thanks Link to post Share on other sites
andreautick Posted December 17, 2003 Share Posted December 17, 2003 You can't have a true and honest friendship with this girl unless you share your feelings because friendships are based on honesty, like any good relationship. I think you should tell her how you feel and preface it by saying "I know you're in a relationship, I'm not trying to disrepect that at all, but I need to be honest with you." As far as approaching girls to date, just try talking to them and smiling. Never fails on me (or, it didn't before I had a boyfriend). Just ask them how their day is even, or if they are in a class with you ask how they're doing in that class or how they liked the lecture..etc. Be sure to smile and be friendly and warm. If you repeat this a few times, and maybe throw in a compliment or too, they'll warm up and it will be easier to get a date with them. Good Luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Arabess Posted December 17, 2003 Share Posted December 17, 2003 Originally posted by andreautick You can't have a true and honest friendship with this girl unless you share your feelings because friendships are based on honesty, like any good relationship. I think you should tell her how you feel and preface it by saying "I know you're in a relationship, I'm not trying to disrepect that at all, but I need to be honest with you." As far as approaching girls to date, just try talking to them and smiling. Never fails on me (or, it didn't before I had a boyfriend). Just ask them how their day is even, or if they are in a class with you ask how they're doing in that class or how they liked the lecture..etc. Be sure to smile and be friendly and warm. If you repeat this a few times, and maybe throw in a compliment or too, they'll warm up and it will be easier to get a date with them. Good Luck! Sounds like GREAT advice. Good Luck....'Really Bored' Link to post Share on other sites
Author really bored Posted December 17, 2003 Author Share Posted December 17, 2003 i will certainly give it a shot when it comes to talking to her, i want her to know but i really dont want to hurt her, so i will try the "im just trying to be honest approach" - and for the 2nd part, if i go up and talk to these girls, what is the best advice for not gettign stuck in the dreaded "friend zone" like my current situation? - is there a time frame for asking a girl out before she categorizes you? - it seems like every girl i meet sticks me there right away - i dont know if i am too nice - people generally all describe me as the nicest person they've ever met but i still get turned down because girls "don't want to lose a good friend" again thank you so much - this really helps me through a bad time Link to post Share on other sites
andreautick Posted December 17, 2003 Share Posted December 17, 2003 Yeah, I have met guys like that...where everyone puts them in the friend zone. I suspect that you are approaching them in a very cautious, friendly manner. That is good, but you need to be true to your intentions if you see them as more than a friend. So, from the beginning, compliment them in innocent ways and flirt a little. Make your intentions clear from the start, and you won't get put into that zone. It's easier to do that than to reinvent a friendship into romance, as you are finding out. Link to post Share on other sites
Author really bored Posted December 17, 2003 Author Share Posted December 17, 2003 thanks so much, when i get back to school in the spring i will certainly try everything i can do to talk to girls and more people in general and i will tell her how i feel and hopefully she wont be too hurt and will still want to hang out as much as we do now ok one more question - off topic, but are women generally more attracted to the guys that are skinny or overweight - im not going to say which category i fit into because i want an honest answer ill let you all know how it is going Link to post Share on other sites
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