andyHBK Posted December 17, 2003 Share Posted December 17, 2003 Hello everyone, I just found this site about 2 days ago and i actually enjoyed hearing problems other people had and the replies they received. Well my problem right now is about an ex i broke up with a long while back...its a bit long but its to help understand the problem =). Thanks I met this girl in elementary school but didnt talk to her much knowing i was young, i didnt care about girls to much. She later attended my middle school in the 8th grade and we starting talking and getting closer near the end of the school year. We starting dating summer before our first year in high school. I loved talking to her on the phone and enjoyed the letters she sent me. As great as the relationship was...i didnt realize what i had until she broke up with me about 4 months later due to unknown reasons. Although i heard from a friend she thought i was boring and always angry. I may have been boring at times, but never angry at her. As i think back on the relationship, i realized she was everything i could ever want in a mate and i wish i could have did stuff differently. I know im young and people may say its "puppy love" or whatever and i'll get over it, but i CANT! After breaking up, we decided that we'll be friends and talk to each other about our problems...but that didnt work out. We quit talking and i eventually changed high schools. After about 3 years of not hearing from one another...i decide to call her for her 18th b-day to see how she was doing. She was happy to hear from me as i her. We attend the same community college at the moment and i've seen her a few times on campus...never really stopped to talk with each other but we smile at one another when passing by. So for about 3 months now, we've been chatting online about once every 2 weeks and shes even mentioned that someday we should hangout and get something to eat or whatever. Knowing i dont get my licence for about a week i cant really take her out at the moment and im not even sure where or how i would approach this matter, but i would like to try something. So with that all being said, i know i probably should have gotten over her by now...but after hearing her voice and seeing her again, i cant stop thinking about what would have happened. As of right now she said shes single and i assume is looking. Not sure if i'll be the right choice for her, but i would like to try and earn a second chance. So my questions are: 1. Should i try and get back with her? Maybe not right away but at least closer to start things off. If so, how should/would i approach this situation? 2. Try and get over her and stay friends. Thanks for reading, please post your opinion on what i should try to not try. Link to post Share on other sites
SoleMate Posted December 17, 2003 Share Posted December 17, 2003 1. Should i try and get back with her? If so, how should/would i approach this situation? 2. Try and get over her and stay friends? My answer to both is the same. Yes, try to become a closer friend with her. It sounds as if you and she have a lot in common and enjoy each other's company. Good friends are not a dime a dozen. BUT...I do NOT recommend making this a big, exclusive "affair" at this time. It cracks me up/saddens me to think that a 14 year old's love affair would qualify anyone to be an "ex". What ever happened to the idea of developing friendships with several girls while you're young and really have a great chance to enjoy variety and experimentation? (By the way, I DON'T consider sex a necessary or even advisable component of this exploration.) Knowing i dont get my licence for about a week i cant really take her out at the moment and im not even sure where or how i would approach this matter What, you don't eat lunch since you don't have a car? Just plan a simple excursion - zoo and hotdogs on a Saturday - matinee and ice cream on Sunday - crosscountry skiing or beach - something lowkey and fun, what ever people do in your area when they're feeling playful. You can walk, or ride your bikes or the bus. (I know that having your parents drive you is a social impossibility.) This is a MUCH safer plan than some big DATE, and it actually is a better way to build close friendships too. The stakes aren't so high and everybody can act normal. Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted December 17, 2003 Share Posted December 17, 2003 Sole's got a good point: if you keep the meeting low-key, but fun, she'll enjoy having spent that time with you. Don't go into it with any expectations, and you won't be disappointed. your comment about how she felt you were "angry" makes me think that even though you never were upset with her, your attitude toward others or toward certain situations may have been upsetting to her. I don't think anyone likes being with a hothead, or someone who rants and rails against the world just because of some beef (real or imagined), it's just too scary being around someone like that. don't push her into a relationship, but go slow and casual. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts