sas Posted December 17, 2003 Share Posted December 17, 2003 Hi, First, can i just say how happy i was to find this forum, its good to know im not on my own! My story is very similar to some ive read on here but i will give some details anyway. Basically I am seeing an ex-collegue of mine, who is been married. We were both on a night out which ended with us both consuming way too much alcohol and confessing our feelings for each other. He has been married for 2 years and because of his background and religion, divorce is not an option. We only see each other maybe once or twice a month but I think I am falling in love with him and need to stop this before its too far gone. I am seriously unhappy because of this situation and just wish it would go away so i could get on with the rest of my life! I am only 22 and just came out of a six year relationship before I met this man so I dont have that much experience with relationships. Therefore, any advice and support would be much appreciated! S Link to post Share on other sites
Arabess Posted December 17, 2003 Share Posted December 17, 2003 You know SAS, I've heard people use 'religion' as an excuse before. I've always wondered: If God could overlook an 'affair'...one would wonder why He wouldn't overlook a 'divorce'. It makes little sense. Having an affair is NEVER a good thing! Read thru the posts, just in THIS forum alone, of all the women who have been involved with a married man for months and years.....only to feel unloved, without self esteem and ignorant later. The longer you are involved in it....the harder it is to walk away. It DOES make it hard when you work with them and see them on a regular basis. It's like you don't want to hurt their feelings.....not realizing....they are actually using you. Even if they truly care about you, and I think most do, they don't care about you enough to make you feel anything less than an alley cat in the shadows. It's hard and unfair to be involved with someone and you can't even tell anyone or be seen in public with them holding hands. It's like a stifled love that makes you feel 'less than' all the time. It's not worth it. If you don't want to totally confront him for being a 'cakeman'....just tell him you care too much for him to share him and need to quit seeing him in a relationship manner. THEN, stick to it. It won't be easy....depending on how lone you've been together and the intensity of the relationship....it may even feel impossible. However, it's going to end sooner or later anyway. You might as well be the one who calls the shots and walks away. Good Luck.....these things can get sloppy and take quite a toll on your heart. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sas Posted December 17, 2003 Author Share Posted December 17, 2003 Thank you for reply Arabess! You actually have no idea how comforting your wrods were. I finished working with him quite a while ago and i thought that after i had left i would try and end it, but just wasnt brave enough. It does feel impossible but, as you say, its going to have to end sooner or later. The only way he can contact me is through email and my mobile so i was thinking of just blocking his emails and changing my number. Do you think this is childish and the cowards way out? S Link to post Share on other sites
Arabess Posted December 17, 2003 Share Posted December 17, 2003 Well NORMALLY it's not a way to end things. But affairs are so IFFY...you just have to get out of them with whatever it takes. I got mad at a guy once and blocked his emails....then I FRANTICALLY called my provider to get his addy reinstated!!! I've never went that route again. However, no contact at all is the only way to get over the whole ordeal. If not, you just end up rehashing it back and forth....next thing you know.....your meeting AGAIN! Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted December 17, 2003 Share Posted December 17, 2003 so i was thinking of just blocking his emails and changing my number. Do you think this is childish and the cowards way out? If you can't handle breaking up in person, at least send him one last email to tell him that you're breaking up and why before you block him. Link to post Share on other sites
Arabess Posted December 17, 2003 Share Posted December 17, 2003 Moimeme is right...as usual. There is always something about taking the HIGH ROAD!!!! I, however, often sink into the deepest ditch......emailing something like: 26 Reasons Why: A....is for AssClown B....is for Butthead C...is for Cheater! D...is for Divorced NOT! etc.... okay....I made you smile.....now, take Moimeme's advice and say something ADULT! Link to post Share on other sites
LandSharkBaby Posted December 18, 2003 Share Posted December 18, 2003 Yo! Bess, I think I may still have that email!! LOL! How's it going sweetie? MUAH!! Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted December 18, 2003 Share Posted December 18, 2003 Moimeme is right...as usual Music to my ears!!! Best watch out; if you keep that stuff up, I'll have the same problem with my noggin that's plaguing Vivid Link to post Share on other sites
Author sas Posted December 18, 2003 Author Share Posted December 18, 2003 Ok, so im going to do it in person. I dont really have a choice as im going to a christmas night out tonight and he's going to be there! Wish me luck guys!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts