Breakup Over Ex

[Depressed]

My girlfriend and I recently broke up after a 1 yr realtionship that we had been discussing marriage. I am a divorced father of 2 and she had never been married and doesn't have any children. Our realtionship had extreme ups and downs with most of our problems resulting from her inability to accept that I have discussions with my ex due to our 2 children. She also felt she should come 1st in the realtionship over the children. I also agree your partner comes 1st but when young children from a divorce are involved you need to make them a priority...she didn't understand it was very difficult to balance both and felt she wasn't getting the attention she deserved. I actually went thru another child custody mediation to make a more reasonable schedule to make more time for my girlfriend but this wasn't enough. We finally broke up after she turned my son's birthday into a day about her problems..I in turn cancelled a trip with her the day before and she said it was over and to never call again...mind you she actually still went on the trip by herself. I tried to contact her while on the vacation and have left messages and emails w/o return. She emailed my mom upon return to return the luggage but never responded to my messages. I still do love her but don't want to chase after something that maybe wasn't meant to be or that she can't accept or handle...help I need advise!!!!

[Tony T]

Your girlfriend is extremely immature, selfish, self-centered and devoid of any understanding whatsoever. She does not care about you or your children. Her entire being centers around satisfying her very own desires.

 

I really hate to tell you this, but while you may think you love this lady, she is NOT someone you would want around your children or in your life on a permanent basis. Your children would quickly pick up that she was jealous of them and the time you spend with them and dislike her.

 

If this lady doesn't understand that you have two children by another woman and that will remain a fact forever, she is one dense chick.

 

I think you ought to thank your lucky stars that she split. I know it hurts. I used to love a lot of extremely selfish ladies myself until I wised up. You don't need to call her, see her or have any other dealings with her. She is simply NOT the type of person you want in your life. How extremely lucky you are to see her true colors and have your eyes opened in time. You could have ended up with TWO ex wives.

 

Sustain the pain and honor yourself for putting your children first. I unconditionally guarantee that there are some very wonderful ladies who would love your children as their own and treat them like a million dollars. They would understand the your need to communicate with their mother from time to time.

 

FORGET THIS LADY AND GO OUT A CELEBRATE!!!

[S.W.P.]

Hi, I'm sorry about your breakup, but it sounds like she is still young and immature & out for all your attention & your money. I could be wrong because I don't know her personally, but from your story that is my p.o.v. I sense that you are one to fall in love easily and cannot easily fall out unless you have been cheated on and betrayed. It also sounds as though you are one to want to give a woman everything she wants, if possible, which is good, but, you can't get so head over heels for her in the puppy love beginning, & give her everything she wants in the beginning, that you are wore out once it gets serious, when you really start to fall in love, & get to lazy to get her something special when you REALLY love her. Basically, don't just give her SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much attention & SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO many things in the beginning when you are only getting to know each other, that you are to wore out & have nothing to give her in the end when you've actually fallen in love. And about the kids issue: You are a father. Therefore, you have a HUGE responsibility to take care of, watch over, support, teach, & prepare (for the outside world) your children. She was only a girlfriend. OBVIOUSLY not a soulmate. Girlfriends WILL come and go, just be VERY cautious when getting into a relationship that you don't let go of your heart (fall in love)so easily, because it will hurt you. And someone who is trying to make you pick THEM over your own blood and flesh, YOUR OWN CHILDREN is not someone who cares about YOU, they just want to feel loved (i.e. someone who wants you to pick them over your family [who knows you better anyway]). I'm sorry you are hurting, but she isn't worth it. Move on, don't try to make her jealous, and don't go searching for someone (a woman) to companionate with, just hang out with friends or take your kids out for a day at an amusement park or something, just enjoy life, and if a woman happens to find her way into your life, then good luck and congrads to you, but don't look for love, let it find it's way back to you. And don't be impatient, it WILL find it's way back to you, just wait. I hope I've helped, good luck, and remember, you aren't alone, everyone has problems in relationships. You should try GIVING some advice, you might just figure out a solution to your OWN problem in helping others. G'Bye!

My girlfriend and I recently broke up after a 1 yr realtionship that we had been discussing marriage. I am a divorced father of 2 and she had never been married and doesn't have any children. Our realtionship had extreme ups and downs with most of our problems resulting from her inability to accept that I have discussions with my ex due to our 2 children. She also felt she should come 1st in the realtionship over the children. I also agree your partner comes 1st but when young children from a divorce are involved you need to make them a priority...she didn't understand it was very difficult to balance both and felt she wasn't getting the attention she deserved. I actually went thru another child custody mediation to make a more reasonable schedule to make more time for my girlfriend but this wasn't enough. We finally broke up after she turned my son's birthday into a day about her problems..I in turn cancelled a trip with her the day before and she said it was over and to never call again...mind you she actually still went on the trip by herself. I tried to contact her while on the vacation and have left messages and emails w/o return. She emailed my mom upon return to return the luggage but never responded to my messages. I still do love her but don't want to chase after something that maybe wasn't meant to be or that she can't accept or handle...help I need advise!!!!

[magicklady]

Just leave her alone and go on with your life. Do you really want a woman that could be jealous of something as precious as a child. When children go through a divorce it is hard enough on them and it is extra important that you spend time with them so they know that none of it was thier fault. She sounds really selfish and if you ask me doesn't deserve someone like you in her life. Just move on and find a woman who is worthy to be your mate!