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Can't deal.


Ray19

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This is my first post- I'm still dealing with a break up. Its been 3 months and she is still on my mind.She broke up with me and she had a lot of reason to. Its hard because I know it is my fault and I know I really screwed up.

 

Some background-

We are both in our 20s. When I met her she was literally the best person I've ever met. She's sweet,smart,sensitive and beautiful inside and out. She lost her virginity to me and really loved me for me. I made some mistakes during our relationship and I can honestly say she didn't make much of any. That is what is killing me.I screwed up. I miss everything about her. What is hard because this type of girl really is hard to find and not only that she is what I prefer looks and body wise. She's black and beautiful and she has the most amazing body. She is everything that I generally prefer and am usually drawn to. Its hard because its like finding someone like her feels impossible. Personality,morals and physical was all there. I know the next guy she will be intimate with she will love and I can't take thinking she will be giving him what she gave to me emotionally and physically. Does that makes sense? Maybe I'm selfish but I like knowing I was the only one to have her in that way and the thought of another guy sleeping with her is making me upset. I kind of wish now she had been with another before me so maybe I wouldn't feel this way.

 

I've tried to date other girls but no one compares to this girl. I'm really not putting her on a pedestal either. She had flaws but they were so insignificant that it made me just love her more. I wish she had some huge problem or did something really bad to me so I could feel better about things and move on but she didnt. She really is amazing.

 

 

I feel sick.

Edited by Ray19
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