zepland Posted December 9, 2009 Share Posted December 9, 2009 Hi everyone, I`ll make a long story short. 4 months ago, after a 6 month LDR, my ex broke up with me, due to distance and probably my social life. She also told me `do not want to talk to you anymore`, she was right I had become needy and boring! 2 weeks ago, out of the blue, I gathered my strength and called her up to see and feel how she was doing and because I really cared for her and wanted to reconcile. To my surprised she was happy to hear from me and she agreed that we should talk again. She also mentioned that she was a bit sad and that her life was not that great now. Today I called her, she picked up but her tone was very different. She was not alone but she had a friend next to her. Out of blue she mentioned that she`s got a mysterious`boyfriend`. She sounded (opposite to last call) all full of herself and distant. I nearly fell into her trap but quickly changed subject. I told her `please do not get me wrong` I care for you and I value our relationship, that is all I want. that is it. she said `ok`. Then I finished the call saying` ok, talk later then` she said `ok, do that`. Now, I do not even know why I am bothering that much but I guess there is something I do not fully understand. All I am left with is the feeling that she actually enjoys talking to me and me calling her, and that is exactly what I want. Any view on the subject? Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted December 9, 2009 Share Posted December 9, 2009 Go No Contact. Link to post Share on other sites
McGrupp Posted December 9, 2009 Share Posted December 9, 2009 whats mysterious about him? shes got a new BF. her life isnt that great. she subbed someone in. stop contacting so u dont have to waste your time wondering whats she is doing Link to post Share on other sites
selena_cat Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 my goodness,I couldve written this post. Do yourself a favor and go NC if you dont you will regret it,dont believe me and chase after her,you'll see. chances were she broke up with you to be with this guy,people have boyfriends show out of no where,its your call. Link to post Share on other sites
Author zepland Posted December 10, 2009 Author Share Posted December 10, 2009 my goodness,I couldve written this post. Do yourself a favor and go NC if you dont you will regret it,dont believe me and chase after her,you'll see. chances were she broke up with you to be with this guy,people have boyfriends show out of no where,its your call. I understand that most people believe in NC, but I think that every case is different and that NC can be good for some or damaging for others. In the words of Einstein: `Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen`. It is all about deciding what you want and acting accordingly. Mostly people make object-referral decisions, rather than being guided by own our internal referral system. I could not care less if she has a boyfriend or not, because there is a big difference from being in love and having a boyfriend. You can be in love with someone and still making the logical decision of dumping this person , as well as you can make the logical decision to be with someone else, even though you have no feelings for them. Love is a chemical reaction, a subconscious process, that most people are not even aware of. Chemical Love cannot be born by logic, whilst logical love can be born by chemical love. So, I am in the strong position because I feel that she still has love feelings for me, but she has just logically repressed them, because of reasons I know and do not want to say. I have the power to change logic, and hence enhance the chance of getting back together one day, because there is no rush, life is a long adventure, and we should always look at the bigger picture. In terms of chasing a girl, I agree we should not. But in terms of showing a girl that you care, despite her behaviour, despite her logical opposition, I believe that is a sign of unconditional love, a love that goes beyond logic, a love is driven by instinct. And most of all, what is worst that could happen if I keep calling her? She will stop picking up I guess.....in fact I am going to give it a break, but I am not gonna call it NC, it is just an emotional break. Life knows no rules, we make our own. the secret is courage. \/---to the woman I love---\/ You are no better or worse, nor equal or different, nor special or magical, not even a different kind. Simply from another planet. Link to post Share on other sites
stayingstrong12 Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 i think you should stop calling her for awhile and see if she calls you or tries to contact you cuz if she does that means she really does miss you and wanna talk to you, but if she doesnt shes just playing games with you Link to post Share on other sites
Author zepland Posted December 10, 2009 Author Share Posted December 10, 2009 i think you should stop calling her for awhile and see if she calls you or tries to contact you cuz if she does that means she really does miss you and wanna talk to you, but if she doesnt shes just playing games with you why is this girl still picking the phone and still agreeing on me calling her? why is not just saying DO not call me anymore? why is not just saying LEAVE me alone? Link to post Share on other sites
sean1970 Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 zepland, you can write long posts of reason all you wish, what we read is, "I really miss this girl and want her back in my life." It just seems you are the only one making any effort. Her not saying "dont call me" is not the same as "I really want to see where things go" no matter how many angles you look at it from. If this keeps up, you being the only one vested in the relationship, it wont be the last time you post here, "what does this really mean?" Link to post Share on other sites
Author zepland Posted December 10, 2009 Author Share Posted December 10, 2009 zepland, you can write long posts of reason all you wish, what we read is, "I really miss this girl and want her back in my life." It just seems you are the only one making any effort. Her not saying "dont call me" is not the same as "I really want to see where things go" no matter how many angles you look at it from. If this keeps up, you being the only one vested in the relationship, it wont be the last time you post here, "what does this really mean?" yours is a good point. I am quite a stubborn person, meaning that I live by the one phrase: `if you can conceive it and believe it, you can achieve it`. Yes, I really miss the girl and I am doing everything I can to have her back in my life because I think that would be beneficial for both of us ( she may disagree about this though ;-) Yes, she is not doing any effort and apparently (at least what it looks like) she is trying to discourage me. But I am not giving up, that is for sure. Kindly, gently, sweetly, step by step. I made a mistake in rushing things again and now I am back to square one. Yes, a relationship take 2 to work, but it may need 1 to lead the relationship out of the mud. Yes, she feels like a dead weight but She`ll thank for me that. In honest truth, even the last time we talked she kept bringing up the reasons why she broke up with me, in a very subtle way. She is like: ` yeah, whatever, you know, you can keep calling me and do whatever you want, but things are like the same as before, you have not changed a bit and still have a ****ty social life` Link to post Share on other sites
Dream Brother Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 whats mysterious about him? It's a horse. Link to post Share on other sites
Author zepland Posted December 10, 2009 Author Share Posted December 10, 2009 It's a horse. yeah, a rocking horse Link to post Share on other sites
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