I cheated on him w/ my ex, now how do I tell the sweet heart?!

[S.W.P.]

Here's the situation.I came down 2 FL. 4 vacation this summer from TN. but I've lived n FL. my whole life, but moved 2 TN. a year ago. I have a boyfriend n TN. & he & I r

 

really close & were friends even b4 we started dating. & he has NEVER cheated on a girl or even broken ^ w/ 1 b4. Now, I have cheated b4 & it never really bothered me after I did, but I always felt slightly bad, but the only time (besides this time) I ever cheated on a guy I REALLY cared about was w/ my ex. But my ex broke ^ w/ me b4 I even got 2 tell him, & still doesn't know, because I haven't been able 2 get ahold of him. But I am a VERY honest person & I feel that I, n order 2 do the right thing, MUST tell the guy that I cheated on him & basically betrayed him, because I feel he has every right 2 know. But the catch here is that I can't tell him over the phone, it has 2 b n person, because I DON'T want him 2 break ^ w/ me (even though I KNOW I deserve it because I begged & begged God 2 give me such a sweet guy & he FINALLY did & I go & betray this new sweety, therefore I don't deserve him, I feel as though I deserve a low down,dirty,cheating, rat, such as myself). Another reason I tell the guy is so that I don't have 2 live w/ the guilt that I snuck ^ on him & stabbed him in the back. But I will only tell him n person, because I know that guys 4give me easier when they SEE me cry, rather than just hearing me cry over the phone, & plus they can't hang ^ on me, & n person I just get more pity & 4giveness because he will b able 2 SEE how bad I really feel about the whole thing. But I find guilt n THAT 2! 'Cause I don't deserve ne pity, because I was willing 2 go all the way w/ my ex & also I know that I'm going 2 try & make it sound like I was helpless & that I didn't have ne say-so n it, & lie & say I was passed out or something so he will 4give me & that is wrong & I feel SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO bad, because no matter how bad I want 2 say what REALLY happened (4 the honesty of it & so I can feel guilt-free), I will probably lie ne-wayz, just so I can KEEP my boyfriend! I HATE myself 4 what I've done, & now I've been punishing myself since it happened. Please help.

[Tony T]

Telling your ex that you cheated on him will only make him feel lots better about having broken up with you.

 

I know you want to clear your conscience and that's great but it is absolutely absurd and ridiculous to hunt down an old boyfriend who could care less solely for the purpose of telling him you cheated on him. Why not confess to a member of your clergy or some trusted friend?

 

I think you need to forgive yourself and move on.

 

My prayer is that you don't suck anymore victims into your life. If you can't be faithful to a boyfriend or husband, don't be with him. There is no good reason these days for having a committed relationship if you want to slip around.

 

Stop punishing yourself. Everybody makes mistakes and some make them over and over. You seem to be human enough. Forget finding the old mate, go forward with your life, drop the past, and try to do better in the future.