Wife wants a Divorce... It's over...

[bobjones2399]

tnttim,

 

1. Do you love her? Yes

 

2. Can you handle the fact she cheated on you? Yes, but it hurts

 

3. Can you figure out the part you played in driving her away? Yes.. my own issues and insecurities. I drifted away from her emotionally and wasn't there for her. I can understand why this happened but it still hurts.

 

4. Can you follow easy directions? Yes, lets hear it.

 

I want your help!

[tnttim]

First, forget the past. You can't fix your present situation by dwelling on all the wrong things you did. So today is day 1. First, you have to stick to the no contact. She can call you, but don't call her. When you talk you act happy, like everythings great. Agree with her negativity, no matter how silly, she's testing you. She'll say "you caused the marriage to fall apart" you agree and say "yes, it was my fault" Keep your dialogue short. Don't justify yourself ever. No matter what keep the conversation under 10 minutes, and then you end the call. You always have to end the call, because she'll want to talk more, and that's what you want. Do not beg, plead or say i love you, or i miss you. Second, push the divorce, I know it sounds weird, but it works. This lets her know your not scared of it, you actually welcome it. This will get her thinking and that's what you want. Third, go out and have fun. You have no friends, make some. While out having fun, talk to woman, it's fun also. I know you feel like no one can replace her, but you need to see what's out there. Plus if word gets around your talking to other woman she'll get jealous. She'll think maybe I'm giving up on this too early. Make her think she can lose you for good. Please stop shaking your head at me, it works. She still has feelings for you, their just stronger for the other man, sorry i know it hurts to hear that. To win her over you to be the strong, secure, and funny man she fell in love with. I know she's not there to see you, but act like she can see you. Practice this everyday, be funny, be happy, and be calm. Then when she calls it'll be easier to act naturally. If you mess up and break a rule, don't dwell in it, move on, I broke plenty of my own rules.

[tnttim]

i'm sorry for your pain.

 

i'd be checking any money you two have together. she may have moved it... if she hasn't - you need to move it now, or you may find that she disappears with all of it.

 

then turn off her phone and quit paying any of her bills. if she intends to walk away like she says, she needs to take care of herself while you get the divorce finalized.

 

tell her she can figure out how the Chicago guy can pay for her bills if she can't.

 

Horrible advise. First of all, any money you take out of a joint account needs to be justified as a family expense in court. Second, cancelling her phone and not paying her bills is childish, if you paid them before, keep paying them. The last sentence is just anger, ignore it.