Akiraesperian Posted June 17, 2000 Share Posted June 17, 2000 Well thankyou all for the advice. Here is a little update on what has happened, so far nothing but good news (except on small thing which I would like advice on). I was talking to a friend of mine about girl #1 who turned out to have some feelings for her, now they are dating and me and her are still good friends. She even didn't go on the camping trip with girl #3 and myself last night, which turned out well. Beautiful weather, full moon, a still lake with the occaisional fish jump. We woke up to the birds singing, I think it went well and throughtout the next day she had a smile on her face. The only negative that happened, was when I asked her out, she said that she needed some time to think about. I was just wondering if this means she only wants to be friends (perfectly acceptable by me) The other thing I was thinking of is maybe she wants to get to know me better before she makes a commitment like that. We are going to a concert tonight, and then have some plans for tomorrow. So I don't see her pushing away, just wanted to know what the experts think about it. PS Thankyou for your advice, it has prove to be very beneficial, not only in replies directly relating to my problem but reading the replies to problems other people are having that have some similarities to mine help out alot. **************************** OLD MESSAGE School is out for the summer, so I have been spending more time with my friends. Lately there have been three girls in particular which have been taking up alot of my time, not my choice, but i dont mind either. My problem is this, girl #1 has been trying to get me to go out with her. When she brings it up I try to change the topic or show kind of a small annoyance to the discussion. Im not sure how to tell her I just want to be friends without being rude. Girl #3 is also friends with girls #1 and #2 but we have been flirting for a few weeks now and have been getting real close, but I cant ask her out without possibly damaging our friendship with girl #1. Girl #3 and myself planned a camping trip this weekend (which was recommended by girl #2) but girl #1 found out when she overheard a phone conversation about it so we invited her to come along. I have talked to girl #3 who said that if I did ask out girl #2 she would say yes. Should I ask girl #3 if she would like to formalize the relationship? Should I just try to remain friends? Any other ideas? Thanks for any advice you can throw my way Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted June 18, 2000 Share Posted June 18, 2000 When you ask a lady out and she says she has to think about it, consider that a NO. Be nice to her but move on a don't bring it up again. If at some time in the future she should say she's given it some thought and has decided she wants to go out, that means that the other guy(s) she had in mind didn't come through or nobody she wanted to go out with more than you asked her out. To hell with that. Write her off. If you want to be friends with her, that's your business. If a girl likes you, she may act coy but she doesn't say she's got to think about it...unless, of course, she is mildly retarded. Link to post Share on other sites
Akiraesperian Posted June 19, 2000 Share Posted June 19, 2000 Thankyou for the advice, here is what happened next if anybody is interested. I decided I would still be friends with her, esp since she is friends with alot of the friends I have currently. (very tangled web right there) Well I didn't call her today just to let things simmer down and she called me up and asked why I didn't call. We got talking and the reason she gave me to as why she didn't want to give me an answer right away was she was nervous and she wasn't expecting me to pop the question. I think all is working out well, I am not really sure. The advice that you gave me though helped as in slowing down the pace at which I was pursuing this relationship and may actually help it out. I am not sure if this was your intent but now either way it works out (or doesn't), I wont be a drooling mess, either from contentment or sadness. When you ask a lady out and she says she has to think about it, consider that a NO. Be nice to her but move on a don't bring it up again. If at some time in the future she should say she's given it some thought and has decided she wants to go out, that means that the other guy(s) she had in mind didn't come through or nobody she wanted to go out with more than you asked her out. To hell with that. Write her off. If you want to be friends with her, that's your business. If a girl likes you, she may act coy but she doesn't say she's got to think about it...unless, of course, she is mildly retarded. Link to post Share on other sites
magicklady Posted June 19, 2000 Share Posted June 19, 2000 I think in some ways she has to like you if she is hanging out with you this much... just give it some time and see what happens if nothing else you gained a really good friend out of the whole deal.. a female to talk to about your relationship problems with other women later on.. try dating someone else and see what she has to say about it.. sometimes it takes a man doing that before a woman realizes what they are feeling.. I know it sounds like playing games,,, but in some ways she is doing that as well... Good luck and have a great summer Link to post Share on other sites
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