Catseye8 Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 My boyfriend of a year broke up with me a week ago (my sob-filled thread on that, with all the painful details, is here). At the time he said there was absolutely no chance for a future the way he was now, and that he'd like to think we could be together in the future when he got his head together, but didn't want me waiting around so we should consider this a clean break. (He also said "I'm sure I'll try to come crawling back", though, which does not seem like a very clean break to me! Gah.) Anyway, now I've had a week to cool down and consider, I've realised that a) we were driving each other crazy for the past 6 weeks or so and b) lots of that was my fault as well as his. And I still love him like crazy and want him back, but I can't right now without a bit of time passing first; any relationship we'd have in the future would have to not just pick up where we left off, and I'd need him to get some space and get some counselling first to deal with his issues (which he's doing). We've been in touch over the past week, talked about a lot of the problems we both had with the relationship, and now we've decided that what we need right now is a break from each other, but that in the future we'll talk about the possibility of a happier, healthier relationship for us. (We used to be absolutely great together so I do think there's a chance of this.) In the meantime, we're going to just keep in casual, chatty contact, the way we did when we were first getting to know each other, and get that time and space. I really want us to make this work. My approach at the moment is just to go along with the casual contact until I've had all the space I need, then see how he's doing, and play it by ear that way rather than set specific we'll-talk-after-X-many-weeks dates and deadlines (something that was always a problem in our relationship before). But, man... I miss him like hell, and even though I know we couldn't make anything good work right now, I want him back so damn much Does this sound like an okay path for us to take at the moment, do you think? And what do I do to get my head together (and not go insane!) in the meantime? Link to post Share on other sites
Yael Posted December 11, 2009 Share Posted December 11, 2009 Just a warning. When I was 19 and my b/f broke up with me, he told me he could see us getting back together when I was older. I spent years (!!!!!) being his doormat, in the hope he would change his mind. If there is no commitment, there is no commitment. He gets you and everything else he wants. unless you go out with other people, and he has 100% committed to you tread carefully. It can be horrendous waiting for someone to change their minds. My latest breakup however has made me realise that if we are to come back together it will be (as you have said) a new start, not a get back together. I just don't know if I can do that. It does need to be on your terms though. Don't let him treat you like a g/f if your not. (i so should be taking my own advice). good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
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