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On love, i have to say this or i'll burst


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Just in case. My point is why keep doing something that's going to hurt? If you hit yourself in the head with a baseball bat it hurts right? Would you do it again? No right? So why keep allowing your self to fall in love

 

Because we're biologically preconditioned to procreate. Simple as that.

 

Take away our inherent sex drive, and we would still seek companionship because we humans ( the naked apes that we are) are 'pack animals'... and/or social creatures. That's why solitary confinement is considered the cruelest of punishments in prison, and why infants who are deprived of affection fail to thrive.

 

It's all in the DNA! ;)

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did that guy come back to your city, btw??

 

He did, but I have moved on and found someone more compatible for me! (Hence all of my thoughts on this subject...I've been thinking about it quite a bit lately.)

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Back to the burning your hand thing, that's a ridiculous analogy. It doesn't feel good to put your hand on a radiator, and burning yourself isn't a fundamental human experience. To say that true love is impossible for your generation, but not for the prior generations is a stilly generalization. Just because you're jaded/bitter about it doesn't mean you can stomp on the whole idea of true love. Even if you never find it, the pursuit is valuable.

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a singular experience does not "make up" what love is: it's fluid, it evolves as you evolve, and even when it doesn't end out the way you want it to end, it's still a very valuable experience. It's more like an exercise, one in which your heart grows a little bigger each time you willingly let yourself experience it.

 

sure, it's easy to get burned one time and swear of men (or women) the rest of your life, but why limit yourself to that one experience of hurt? Loving someone might be a mistake, but one very much worth making if, in the end, you get to your true definition of it. Because as you mature, as you experience more things, your whole definition of what you want, what you perceive love to be, changes. And that's not necessarily a bad thing ...

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Just wanted to add to the original post. Recently my girlfriend and I broke up after 2 1/2 years. It didn't end on the terms I would have liked and I have been crushed. It still hurts as much today and it did when she first told me. However, as much pain that I have felt I don't regret any part of the relationship for one second. Both of us put a lot of love, time, energy, and money into it but neither of us wishes that we hadn't. We shared so many great times together. I will always cherish her memory and the things we shared.

 

While things didn't work out I have learned so much from our relationship and I know she has too. I know I will use what I have learned to make my next relationship that much better. I am scared about getting hurt again but the amount of joy and happiness that can come out of a new relationship is well worth the risk of possibly getting hurt. The most satisfying thought I have right now is that if its not meant to be, its not meant to be and those experiences are ones we are meant to learn from.

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  • 2 weeks later...
mandarincool

Here, here, Wing81. You are on the money. That's exactly why we do it, and it just keeps getting better, though not necessarily less painful.

 

I love love, though sometimes it's a lot of work! :bunny:

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  • 3 weeks later...

not true, not true at all really. Love is amazing! it's not loves fault you've had a had time. your phenomenological perspective is all wrong. Besides,when it happens for you, you'll understand what it's all about, it's addictive!

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